Listening to Passion - Come, now is the time to Worship
As I type this, I am going crazy seriously. My mind is overflowing with a tremendous deluge of thoughts. Not that I've been to any significant event in the last few hours. But so many thoughts have just been bombarding me lately that I find it difficult to make sense of it all and often wonder what am I thinking at times. It is times like these when even though my mind is half past six in its reasonings and logic that I am at my most creative potential.
Have to learn to resist the temptation to blog no more than once a day. Its like, the more I blog, the more thoughts I have and the more discussions and arguments and perspectives are being tossed around in my mind of sorts. It is almost like a rojak of thoughts and diatribes that are fighting each other of domination and superiority in their depth of complexity as well as that of comprehensibility. Its like a washing machine filled up with thoughts.
simple
I once again slept at 5 plus nearing six in the morning today. I really enjoy this shift work thing! The freedom to stay up till really early in the morning and then sleep the morning away. This is pure pleasure. Quite unfortunate I could not do this in my JC days at AC. When I go to university, I'll try to put all the courses in the afternoon and use the time early in the morning to study - its when I am at my sharpest. Come morning, I'll just sleep it all away and love every minute of it. Nico often says that I live my life like a vampire, always night shift, night activities etc. True, all I need now is a Steinway grand piano in my Black & White house and me decked out constantly in a suit with a RED long sleeved shirt. Then I think even the postman will be scared to come deliver the post at my Mount Pleasant road house - near a cemetery, deep inside a thick forest. What more could I ask?
Speaking of black & white houses, there are a few very nice ones at Nassim Road. The area they sit upon is HUGE and in such close proximity to the CITY! But then again, I think the Indian High Commissioner's Residence at Pierce Road is a better buy, a 150 year old Black & White house made out of CEMENT sitting on 200 000 square feet of land. That will be my kind of property. Dont' forget the BREGUET watch that'll deck out my hand. Its really good to dream sometimes, just as long as you're not too carried away into such a world of fantasy.
I met up with my admissions officer again today at Bishan. Things are going ok, but I'll have to speed up my applications as I am quckly running out of time. I need to get a bank draft for the application fee as well as a certification of finances from the bank in order to send in my applications. Oh, I ran into no other than ATEK! The computer genius at Bishan today, he just finished work at Seletar base and was now chilling out with his other group of friends.
The other person I bumped into today, was a very old friend of mine, an old Barker Classmate from my younger secondary school days. Seriously, everytime I go out I almost surely will bump into some ex-AC person. ACS is really everywhere in this country. This old friend of mine is nicknamed "The LEECH" in Barker. It was amusing calling him "leech! Leech!" in class to the extent that one day the chinese teacher from china scolded me for thinking that I called her a beach! Wow, nowonder they're called Chinese teachers from China. I realise that ACS has a tradition of recruiting chinese teachers from china to teach, knowing full well that no local chinese teacher wants to teach ACS Boys - dubbed the ultimate havoc in chinese class. But the story will come a later time.
Gotta work tomorrow. Sian.
DEEP REFLECTIONS written previously
I've chosen God over any other girl on the planet already. I have decided to live by this "covenant" of sorts already, even if I am not a good Christian and even if one day I mess everything up. I will still chose God over the things of the world. Its not easy, in fact, its very hard just to proclaim it, much less live it. But I am so determined.
First Love. What does that mean to you? For a Christian, I've been brought up to believe that my "First Love" is Jesus. Since I put Him as first place priority in my life. Yet sometimes I honestly feel like I don't love Him enough. Like I am not living the life that He wants me to live for Him. Its not me who lives, but Christ lives in me. That's from the Bible and I really want to live my life such that people will look at me and know that Jesus is real and exists. This despite the fact that I am rather unstable emotionally and have a rather demented thought process in general.
Its very hard to always put God first in life. I have to admit. There is millions of other things that I can do over spending time with God. Party, Club, Hobbies, Money, Work, Socialise, etc and the list just goes on. To be a little bit more on the physics side. It like trying to push you hand made out of steel to reach for God, in the presence of an immense magnetic field that tries to redirect the path of your hand to every other possible place except the Lord. Many a times I have been guilty of not putting God first in my life and not spending enough time with Him. But at least I am honest and willing to confess to my flaws. Sometimes I find it sad that when you go to church (in general), everyone seem to act like they are so holy and they have no needs, no requests for prayer and no desire for other people to help them, when in fact they are just collapsing within. Is it necessary to put up an appearance even in Church?
It has always been a desire of myself to project myself to all groups of people just as I really am, rather than to stick to one particular manner of behavior and speech and action with different groups of people. I've met so many groups of people in ACJC: From the hip party organisers, my class, my CCA friends, my friends from other classes, accquantances and the CF people. Its amazing that these groups in my life never seem to meet or know each other, so there is no clash of identity between the differing groups of people. I am guilty of trying to fit in with the "Cool" but worldy people and yet try to "be Holy" whenever I am at CF. Sigh. I really wish I didn't have to do this. I really wish that I am the same person to God and to all other groups of people from all walks of life.
This realisation only dawned upon me, as more and more people from friendster add me. In my "About Yourself" box. I am at a loss for words as to write something that will please everyone and in "in-common" what everyone knows about me. As usual, I put silly things up. In the end, i think Charles wouldn't be exactly happy with what I wrote there, while others would just pass it off as "pretending" or again as "trying to act cool" and stuff. My groups of friends in school conflict with each other in their ideologies as well as behavior and are at an invisible war with each other. God and Bible does not go with drunkeness and debauchery. Nor thus the "smart group" of people want to have anything to do with the "people who have no desire to excel academically". Its not the groups. Its me. Its the way I conduct myself differently in front of these two groups of people.
Alot of the people in my CCA don't even know that I am a Christian. Or perhaps I do not portray myself as one, prefering to project a more "secular image". And lots of the CF people don't know I mix around and know plenty of ACS people who regularly go to pubs and clubs to drink and smoke their money away and later try to bed a girl in a superficial arena of looks in a nightspot. Such does not bode well for my character. I never really live my life in school like the salf of the earth and the light of the world or a city set upon a hill, which cannot be hidden. Worst thing is that I feel no desire within me to reach out to all the lost people in my very midst. Does this mean that I do not love God at all? After all, I did not follow His commands. Even church wise, I have never brought a friend to church to be saved in my entire life as a Christian. Something that I should be ashamed of. What more the hype about global missions when I can't even evangelise on my own home soil! How sad indeed.
"A double minded man is unstable in all his ways" - James 1:8
The Truth of the Word of God speaks volumes like an arrow piercing my heart to its very core. Eventually one day I will have to chose which identity to go forth with: The worldly one with money, girls, sex, fun, pleasure, people and so on. Or Godly identity: To be used by Him for His own Glory and none of me, but all of Him. And to endure much trial, tribulation, difficulties, persecutions and just all around oppression from the world, who hates my King. It is like choosing on a forked parth, to either proceed to Babylon, or to proceed to Jerusalem. One has the wide and easy path that goes straight nicely to eternal destruction. And the other? Its very narrow, long, winding and very hard to follow. But it is a path to Life.
I want to chose God, but I am scared to lose my friends, or whatever "friends" that I might have. And considering that I am a rather anti-social person who does not relate well with others. That's the bigger irony. Its like everytime God gives us a choice, us or Him. We all know we should follow Him, no doubt about that. But we simply chose to take the easy way out as our selfish hearts still desire to enjoy the pleasures of this fallen world, which will soon pass away.
Jesus is my First Love. i chose Him. He is my portion FOREVER and EVER. I will plainly put it that I am not a good Christian. I'm no holy person and stuff. I would only rate myself somewhere between the realms of backslider, struggling Chritian and weak Christian. I can't live my life perfectly. Obvious. But then again, I'm not sure if I can live my life to the best that God expects from me. Sometimes, I feel that it is too high an expectation that I can never reach. But I know that what I cannot do by myself with my own meagre strength and will - God can through me. And I can only lean of Him and put my trust and faith in Him totally. I Love Jesus alot. But I don't want to say it. I want to mean it by the actions that I do and by the life that I live!
The number one complicating issue in my life right now is not studies. I'm don't need to study for the next one and a half year. The number one complicating issue in my life right now in girls. Or relationships. Or BGR. But in general, just boyfriend-girlfriend nonsense.
I learnt in church that God has created everything in all existence and that everything belongs to Him. But there is one thing that God can never have unless we surrender it to Him, and that is our hearts. What is our hearts for? To LOVE! Our hearts give us the capability, the ability, the understanding on how to LOVE. Without our hearts, we are nothing. We have free will, God has given to us that and will never interfere in our choices. Even though he is the Mighty King, He will never force His way upon us, and that is one thing I find so amazing about God. God didn't create some robots to sing repetitive praises and worship to Him, nor did he "program" us to be automatic servants to Him. He just gave us the ability to chose, whether to worship Him, or to simply just walk away from Him and to do things by our own means. Because only a willing heart that is not bound by rules is the heart that God really seeks to Love Him and to glorify Him.
One of the hardst parts of living a life for Jesus, is to simply surrender 100% of your heart to Him. We can't simply just say "Oh God, oh Lord, I give you my heart! Take it Lord, its all yours". As God will never force His way upon us. He can only take so much of our hearts as we deem fit to give it to Him. So if I only give 50% my heart to God, then that's all that God can take and no more than that. I so long to give 100% of myself to Him. But I honestly find that it is so increidibly difficult and encounter tremendous resistance, no less, from my heart itself.
The Bible desribes our heart as "deceitful above all things and desperately wicked: who can know it" (Jeremiah 17:9). How true! My own heart is so foolish! Always seeking to get into a relationship! I'm not the kind of person who goes around hitting on girls or trying pick up lines of sort. Its not in my behavior. But it is in my character. Whoever reads my blog will notice that I talk about girls quite alot.
"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..." Pro 23:7
Don't I think alot about girls in my heart? Not as in the lustful context, but more in the "relationship wannabe context". That's NO GOOD. Its bad. its wrong. Because this heart belongs to God, its not even mine to begin with! I can say that i've "pledged" to give my entire heart to God and I don't seem to be making very good progress. But I know I will reach there someday, But when? Time is running out to become totally sold out for God.
Its easy to like a girl. For her looks, for her money, for her personality, for every possible thing. But I believe that God has revaled to me, that like is the devil's counterfeit of Love. The devil knows that we all know that lust is wrong, especially for Christians, so he tries to feed us with half truths that "its okay to like a girl". Well, Adam and Eve were decieved with a half truth in the garden of Eden.
"...ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil" - Gen 3:5
No doubt, when Adam and Eve's eyes were opened, they knew the difference between good and evil. But they didn't become gods! A half truth is usually more destructive in its potential than a full lie. So the half truth for this age? "Its ok to like a girl" There's no harm involved! No committments, no emotional tangles, you can tell all your friends about it and they won't mind, in fact they will praise you for it and she won't even know about it.
What is like? I will define it in my own words as "a watered down version of lust that masquerades as a counterfeit of love that renders us powerless and induces a confusion in order to satisfy the selfish desires of our own heart". The devil knows that if he can control our thoughts, he can control our lives, our actions, our words, our destiny and render us powerless to the Cause of the Kingdom. How truly deceitful the devil's means us, much less it is child's play to trick our deceiitful hearts.
"Take heed that no man deceive you..." Matt 24:4
"...in somuch that, if it were possible, they would deceive the very elect" Matt 24:23
The devil is sowing the deception of liking a girl in the hearts of many young men worldwide. It is his trump card for this generation of youth. If he can deceive us with this. He can deceive so many more as deception will only increase as time goes by.
Liking a girl only takes you rmind off God. It creates a sense of desire, a sense of longing for that person that you know that you might never actually have any real chance of a relationship with. In short, it brings about feelings of inadequacy, depression, sadness, post break-up feelings a general sense of low self esteem and the list goes on. The devil can put all these into the lives of a person even without a relationship of any sorts appearing! How powerful deception can be indeed.
Isn't the criterion to like a girl very much similar to that to lust for a girl? Good figure? Nice chest size? Pretty face? etc? And we all cover it under the guise of "Oh, she's such a nice girl". "Oh she has wonderufl personality". Well, Hitler was very nice to his closest aides as well and to his ardent supporters, he was had "a wonderful personality". How ridiculous indeed the reasonings we sometimes champion are no more than just plain figuaratives of speech that have does not mean what it says at face value.
The biggest part is that the devil is sowing into hearts of many youth a seed that when full grown, will ultimately contantly distract us from God and make it very difficult for us to give our hearts fully to the Lord. Nowonder so many guys come to church to "see girls" and treat church events no different from "social functions". Because like is so fickle, there will always be a girl that a person who likes can conveieniently "change the person of like" at his own whim and fancy. And that keeps a part of his heart pining for that particular person. A part that he cannot give up freely to God and God will not take by any others means than it be offered up to to Him.
When I count the number of girls that I have liked over the years. It has come up to a big figure. But one consistent thing about it all was that this "like" for whichever girl at that particular period of time was like a thorn in my flesh, an invisible one that I didn't feel the pain and damage from. But it definitely kept me from surrendering my whole entire heart to the Lord willingly, because some part was always focused on some girl like an object of desire. How destructive! How it really renders my love for God so meaningless and so powerless! How it makes my praise and worship seem so unsatisfactory to God, and how everything I sing "Lord I give you my heart", I am just lying to my King inadvertedly.
I am ashamed of myself. I shall NEVER like another girl in my life for as long as I live. And since I can't love. Then I won't bother about potential relationships with girls altogether.
Our thoughts determine our actions. The very thoughts that we hold are so powerful. They can either strengthen us or just push us to the ground in an instant. With just one thought that deceives us, the devil can do so much damange. We must strive to learn the deception of the devil and expose his lies working within our very lives.
"My people are destoyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee..." - Hosea 4:6
"Wise men lay up knowlege: but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction" - Pro 10:14
All these verses are speaking directly to me. That's why an EDUCATION is so important. Don't reject knowledge! Yet we must stive not to become proud because of our educational "heritage" (Cor 8:1). It further strengthens my resolve to go to the states to study. And I must lay up knowledge. And keep a sharp tab on the words of my mouth. I admit that I have been foolish, so I must really be careful to avoid destruction.
Isn't it true? The answer to every pressing problem facing mankind today can be found in this one single book? It is the TRUTH of the Word of God. "Know the Truth and the Truth shall set you free". And I certainly know that I am free to give my heart wholehearted to the Lord!
There! I have said enough!
As I type this, I am going crazy seriously. My mind is overflowing with a tremendous deluge of thoughts. Not that I've been to any significant event in the last few hours. But so many thoughts have just been bombarding me lately that I find it difficult to make sense of it all and often wonder what am I thinking at times. It is times like these when even though my mind is half past six in its reasonings and logic that I am at my most creative potential.
Have to learn to resist the temptation to blog no more than once a day. Its like, the more I blog, the more thoughts I have and the more discussions and arguments and perspectives are being tossed around in my mind of sorts. It is almost like a rojak of thoughts and diatribes that are fighting each other of domination and superiority in their depth of complexity as well as that of comprehensibility. Its like a washing machine filled up with thoughts.
simple
I once again slept at 5 plus nearing six in the morning today. I really enjoy this shift work thing! The freedom to stay up till really early in the morning and then sleep the morning away. This is pure pleasure. Quite unfortunate I could not do this in my JC days at AC. When I go to university, I'll try to put all the courses in the afternoon and use the time early in the morning to study - its when I am at my sharpest. Come morning, I'll just sleep it all away and love every minute of it. Nico often says that I live my life like a vampire, always night shift, night activities etc. True, all I need now is a Steinway grand piano in my Black & White house and me decked out constantly in a suit with a RED long sleeved shirt. Then I think even the postman will be scared to come deliver the post at my Mount Pleasant road house - near a cemetery, deep inside a thick forest. What more could I ask?
Speaking of black & white houses, there are a few very nice ones at Nassim Road. The area they sit upon is HUGE and in such close proximity to the CITY! But then again, I think the Indian High Commissioner's Residence at Pierce Road is a better buy, a 150 year old Black & White house made out of CEMENT sitting on 200 000 square feet of land. That will be my kind of property. Dont' forget the BREGUET watch that'll deck out my hand. Its really good to dream sometimes, just as long as you're not too carried away into such a world of fantasy.
I met up with my admissions officer again today at Bishan. Things are going ok, but I'll have to speed up my applications as I am quckly running out of time. I need to get a bank draft for the application fee as well as a certification of finances from the bank in order to send in my applications. Oh, I ran into no other than ATEK! The computer genius at Bishan today, he just finished work at Seletar base and was now chilling out with his other group of friends.
The other person I bumped into today, was a very old friend of mine, an old Barker Classmate from my younger secondary school days. Seriously, everytime I go out I almost surely will bump into some ex-AC person. ACS is really everywhere in this country. This old friend of mine is nicknamed "The LEECH" in Barker. It was amusing calling him "leech! Leech!" in class to the extent that one day the chinese teacher from china scolded me for thinking that I called her a beach! Wow, nowonder they're called Chinese teachers from China. I realise that ACS has a tradition of recruiting chinese teachers from china to teach, knowing full well that no local chinese teacher wants to teach ACS Boys - dubbed the ultimate havoc in chinese class. But the story will come a later time.
Gotta work tomorrow. Sian.
DEEP REFLECTIONS written previously
I've chosen God over any other girl on the planet already. I have decided to live by this "covenant" of sorts already, even if I am not a good Christian and even if one day I mess everything up. I will still chose God over the things of the world. Its not easy, in fact, its very hard just to proclaim it, much less live it. But I am so determined.
First Love. What does that mean to you? For a Christian, I've been brought up to believe that my "First Love" is Jesus. Since I put Him as first place priority in my life. Yet sometimes I honestly feel like I don't love Him enough. Like I am not living the life that He wants me to live for Him. Its not me who lives, but Christ lives in me. That's from the Bible and I really want to live my life such that people will look at me and know that Jesus is real and exists. This despite the fact that I am rather unstable emotionally and have a rather demented thought process in general.
Its very hard to always put God first in life. I have to admit. There is millions of other things that I can do over spending time with God. Party, Club, Hobbies, Money, Work, Socialise, etc and the list just goes on. To be a little bit more on the physics side. It like trying to push you hand made out of steel to reach for God, in the presence of an immense magnetic field that tries to redirect the path of your hand to every other possible place except the Lord. Many a times I have been guilty of not putting God first in my life and not spending enough time with Him. But at least I am honest and willing to confess to my flaws. Sometimes I find it sad that when you go to church (in general), everyone seem to act like they are so holy and they have no needs, no requests for prayer and no desire for other people to help them, when in fact they are just collapsing within. Is it necessary to put up an appearance even in Church?
It has always been a desire of myself to project myself to all groups of people just as I really am, rather than to stick to one particular manner of behavior and speech and action with different groups of people. I've met so many groups of people in ACJC: From the hip party organisers, my class, my CCA friends, my friends from other classes, accquantances and the CF people. Its amazing that these groups in my life never seem to meet or know each other, so there is no clash of identity between the differing groups of people. I am guilty of trying to fit in with the "Cool" but worldy people and yet try to "be Holy" whenever I am at CF. Sigh. I really wish I didn't have to do this. I really wish that I am the same person to God and to all other groups of people from all walks of life.
This realisation only dawned upon me, as more and more people from friendster add me. In my "About Yourself" box. I am at a loss for words as to write something that will please everyone and in "in-common" what everyone knows about me. As usual, I put silly things up. In the end, i think Charles wouldn't be exactly happy with what I wrote there, while others would just pass it off as "pretending" or again as "trying to act cool" and stuff. My groups of friends in school conflict with each other in their ideologies as well as behavior and are at an invisible war with each other. God and Bible does not go with drunkeness and debauchery. Nor thus the "smart group" of people want to have anything to do with the "people who have no desire to excel academically". Its not the groups. Its me. Its the way I conduct myself differently in front of these two groups of people.
Alot of the people in my CCA don't even know that I am a Christian. Or perhaps I do not portray myself as one, prefering to project a more "secular image". And lots of the CF people don't know I mix around and know plenty of ACS people who regularly go to pubs and clubs to drink and smoke their money away and later try to bed a girl in a superficial arena of looks in a nightspot. Such does not bode well for my character. I never really live my life in school like the salf of the earth and the light of the world or a city set upon a hill, which cannot be hidden. Worst thing is that I feel no desire within me to reach out to all the lost people in my very midst. Does this mean that I do not love God at all? After all, I did not follow His commands. Even church wise, I have never brought a friend to church to be saved in my entire life as a Christian. Something that I should be ashamed of. What more the hype about global missions when I can't even evangelise on my own home soil! How sad indeed.
"A double minded man is unstable in all his ways" - James 1:8
The Truth of the Word of God speaks volumes like an arrow piercing my heart to its very core. Eventually one day I will have to chose which identity to go forth with: The worldly one with money, girls, sex, fun, pleasure, people and so on. Or Godly identity: To be used by Him for His own Glory and none of me, but all of Him. And to endure much trial, tribulation, difficulties, persecutions and just all around oppression from the world, who hates my King. It is like choosing on a forked parth, to either proceed to Babylon, or to proceed to Jerusalem. One has the wide and easy path that goes straight nicely to eternal destruction. And the other? Its very narrow, long, winding and very hard to follow. But it is a path to Life.
I want to chose God, but I am scared to lose my friends, or whatever "friends" that I might have. And considering that I am a rather anti-social person who does not relate well with others. That's the bigger irony. Its like everytime God gives us a choice, us or Him. We all know we should follow Him, no doubt about that. But we simply chose to take the easy way out as our selfish hearts still desire to enjoy the pleasures of this fallen world, which will soon pass away.
Jesus is my First Love. i chose Him. He is my portion FOREVER and EVER. I will plainly put it that I am not a good Christian. I'm no holy person and stuff. I would only rate myself somewhere between the realms of backslider, struggling Chritian and weak Christian. I can't live my life perfectly. Obvious. But then again, I'm not sure if I can live my life to the best that God expects from me. Sometimes, I feel that it is too high an expectation that I can never reach. But I know that what I cannot do by myself with my own meagre strength and will - God can through me. And I can only lean of Him and put my trust and faith in Him totally. I Love Jesus alot. But I don't want to say it. I want to mean it by the actions that I do and by the life that I live!
The number one complicating issue in my life right now is not studies. I'm don't need to study for the next one and a half year. The number one complicating issue in my life right now in girls. Or relationships. Or BGR. But in general, just boyfriend-girlfriend nonsense.
I learnt in church that God has created everything in all existence and that everything belongs to Him. But there is one thing that God can never have unless we surrender it to Him, and that is our hearts. What is our hearts for? To LOVE! Our hearts give us the capability, the ability, the understanding on how to LOVE. Without our hearts, we are nothing. We have free will, God has given to us that and will never interfere in our choices. Even though he is the Mighty King, He will never force His way upon us, and that is one thing I find so amazing about God. God didn't create some robots to sing repetitive praises and worship to Him, nor did he "program" us to be automatic servants to Him. He just gave us the ability to chose, whether to worship Him, or to simply just walk away from Him and to do things by our own means. Because only a willing heart that is not bound by rules is the heart that God really seeks to Love Him and to glorify Him.
One of the hardst parts of living a life for Jesus, is to simply surrender 100% of your heart to Him. We can't simply just say "Oh God, oh Lord, I give you my heart! Take it Lord, its all yours". As God will never force His way upon us. He can only take so much of our hearts as we deem fit to give it to Him. So if I only give 50% my heart to God, then that's all that God can take and no more than that. I so long to give 100% of myself to Him. But I honestly find that it is so increidibly difficult and encounter tremendous resistance, no less, from my heart itself.
The Bible desribes our heart as "deceitful above all things and desperately wicked: who can know it" (Jeremiah 17:9). How true! My own heart is so foolish! Always seeking to get into a relationship! I'm not the kind of person who goes around hitting on girls or trying pick up lines of sort. Its not in my behavior. But it is in my character. Whoever reads my blog will notice that I talk about girls quite alot.
"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..." Pro 23:7
Don't I think alot about girls in my heart? Not as in the lustful context, but more in the "relationship wannabe context". That's NO GOOD. Its bad. its wrong. Because this heart belongs to God, its not even mine to begin with! I can say that i've "pledged" to give my entire heart to God and I don't seem to be making very good progress. But I know I will reach there someday, But when? Time is running out to become totally sold out for God.
Its easy to like a girl. For her looks, for her money, for her personality, for every possible thing. But I believe that God has revaled to me, that like is the devil's counterfeit of Love. The devil knows that we all know that lust is wrong, especially for Christians, so he tries to feed us with half truths that "its okay to like a girl". Well, Adam and Eve were decieved with a half truth in the garden of Eden.
"...ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil" - Gen 3:5
No doubt, when Adam and Eve's eyes were opened, they knew the difference between good and evil. But they didn't become gods! A half truth is usually more destructive in its potential than a full lie. So the half truth for this age? "Its ok to like a girl" There's no harm involved! No committments, no emotional tangles, you can tell all your friends about it and they won't mind, in fact they will praise you for it and she won't even know about it.
What is like? I will define it in my own words as "a watered down version of lust that masquerades as a counterfeit of love that renders us powerless and induces a confusion in order to satisfy the selfish desires of our own heart". The devil knows that if he can control our thoughts, he can control our lives, our actions, our words, our destiny and render us powerless to the Cause of the Kingdom. How truly deceitful the devil's means us, much less it is child's play to trick our deceiitful hearts.
"Take heed that no man deceive you..." Matt 24:4
"...in somuch that, if it were possible, they would deceive the very elect" Matt 24:23
The devil is sowing the deception of liking a girl in the hearts of many young men worldwide. It is his trump card for this generation of youth. If he can deceive us with this. He can deceive so many more as deception will only increase as time goes by.
Liking a girl only takes you rmind off God. It creates a sense of desire, a sense of longing for that person that you know that you might never actually have any real chance of a relationship with. In short, it brings about feelings of inadequacy, depression, sadness, post break-up feelings a general sense of low self esteem and the list goes on. The devil can put all these into the lives of a person even without a relationship of any sorts appearing! How powerful deception can be indeed.
Isn't the criterion to like a girl very much similar to that to lust for a girl? Good figure? Nice chest size? Pretty face? etc? And we all cover it under the guise of "Oh, she's such a nice girl". "Oh she has wonderufl personality". Well, Hitler was very nice to his closest aides as well and to his ardent supporters, he was had "a wonderful personality". How ridiculous indeed the reasonings we sometimes champion are no more than just plain figuaratives of speech that have does not mean what it says at face value.
The biggest part is that the devil is sowing into hearts of many youth a seed that when full grown, will ultimately contantly distract us from God and make it very difficult for us to give our hearts fully to the Lord. Nowonder so many guys come to church to "see girls" and treat church events no different from "social functions". Because like is so fickle, there will always be a girl that a person who likes can conveieniently "change the person of like" at his own whim and fancy. And that keeps a part of his heart pining for that particular person. A part that he cannot give up freely to God and God will not take by any others means than it be offered up to to Him.
When I count the number of girls that I have liked over the years. It has come up to a big figure. But one consistent thing about it all was that this "like" for whichever girl at that particular period of time was like a thorn in my flesh, an invisible one that I didn't feel the pain and damage from. But it definitely kept me from surrendering my whole entire heart to the Lord willingly, because some part was always focused on some girl like an object of desire. How destructive! How it really renders my love for God so meaningless and so powerless! How it makes my praise and worship seem so unsatisfactory to God, and how everything I sing "Lord I give you my heart", I am just lying to my King inadvertedly.
I am ashamed of myself. I shall NEVER like another girl in my life for as long as I live. And since I can't love. Then I won't bother about potential relationships with girls altogether.
Our thoughts determine our actions. The very thoughts that we hold are so powerful. They can either strengthen us or just push us to the ground in an instant. With just one thought that deceives us, the devil can do so much damange. We must strive to learn the deception of the devil and expose his lies working within our very lives.
"My people are destoyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee..." - Hosea 4:6
"Wise men lay up knowlege: but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction" - Pro 10:14
All these verses are speaking directly to me. That's why an EDUCATION is so important. Don't reject knowledge! Yet we must stive not to become proud because of our educational "heritage" (Cor 8:1). It further strengthens my resolve to go to the states to study. And I must lay up knowledge. And keep a sharp tab on the words of my mouth. I admit that I have been foolish, so I must really be careful to avoid destruction.
Isn't it true? The answer to every pressing problem facing mankind today can be found in this one single book? It is the TRUTH of the Word of God. "Know the Truth and the Truth shall set you free". And I certainly know that I am free to give my heart wholehearted to the Lord!
There! I have said enough!
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