Listening to Michael W. Smith - Here I Am To Worship
Another very long post. I have many things to say. My posts are seriously getting longer and longer and longer. I think I am seriously too long winded already. But I still prefer to write with broadness as well as depth rather than blog down scant quick summaries that are akin to playing computer games at 540 x 480 resolution. Less detail is no detail. I wonder who actually survives my posts and read them thoroughly.
Listen to this song. Its beautiful. I think its one of those very few songs that non-Christians will actually sing to during chapel, both in Barker as well as in ACJC. Garett (CF Vice-President 2001-2002) was fantastic at leading this song. His voice suits it perfectly.
Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that
You're my God
You're altogether Lovely
Altogether Worthy
Altogether Wonderful to me
Tribute to Charles Ng ACJC Class of 2AH 2002
Charles Ng. If there is any student in my entire life in ACJC or even in my entire 12 years in ACS that has influenced me in the greatest possible manner, it would be him. Truly a scholar and gentlemen and officer. This is going to be long, since I'm going to write it in storyline format.
The first time I saw him was at the inauguration of the 2001 CF committee. This was around early July 2001. At that time, CF was held at the SMR (Sports Medicine Room - as though its used for treating injuries!). I still remember that day really well. It was raining heavily that day (Ah Rainy Days in ACJC!) and I had just finished Economic with Leong Jenn Yeoong (who left the school end 2001), who was my form teacher as well as econs tutor. I was at the staircase at EL 6 (no longer in use after 2001) , my then base classroom, after tutorial was over.
Of all persons in my entire class. In fact, probably the entire school. I never expected my classmate Aaron to literally ask me to go to CF. See, Aaron's a Roman Catholic, as is Lester, so they put more emphasis on the "JC Mass" held in SJI every friday. Aaron was just in CF reasons unknown to me. So I was quite surprised when he ask me to go CF. Since I was still rather naive then, still playing practical jokes on T Squared as well as Vince Larkin (Vince Lee, 2SG3 2003) God was rather far from my mind - seriously. He was like the last Person I would bother about in school since I was having SO MUCH FUN!
If there's one school that distracts more than any other in this country, its gotta be ACJC. You've got pretty girls to look at, rich rich people to hang around with, connections to be made, sports, CCAs, friends to make, girls to hit on, practical jokes to play, classes to cut, lectures to skip, plenty of activities to do (like fly a paper plane in LT5), so more or less, God gets pushed to the end of the end of everyone's agenda. Come on, don't lie all the Christians! We'd all rather go to Paragon with girls than to "waste" 3 hours at CF! But I digress.
So yes. I almost forgot about going to CF with Aaron. Because of the rain, I had not gone home earlier and was just lazing around in the VOID DECK. Then Aaron, who incidentally was going to be late for CF spotted me and dragged me across the Netball semicircle to the sportscom (Sports Complex). So yeah, I went for my first CF meeting in ACJC rather grudgingly. Notably, Aaron left CF later in the year as he felt that it was too shallow, people were just there to socialise and stick into their popular cliches. At that time there were a few popular girls that were attending CF, so that's why quite a number of guys attended CF as well.
And then I saw quite a number of familiar faces there. Some of my Primary 1 classmates, a few secondary school ones, but overall didn't know anyone else. Then the CF Committee was introduced one by one, from president to vice president to prayer coordinator. For the post of Prayer Coordinator, it was "this fella called Charles and he's really holy". Ok, whatever. I'm just here to get out ASAP.
So Charles gave a long speech and stuff. And I wasn't really listening. I was sitting at the back (although Alvin kept asking me to come to the front). For all my life in CF in ACJC, I always sat at the last row. I only sat on the front row once and I didn't like the feeling. Later after CF ended, Leong Jenn Yeoong spotted me at CF. Jenn Yeoong was the teacher-in-charge of CF at that time. And he was SO SHOCKED to see me there. To him. I am like the last person he'd expect to see at CF.
So basically Aaron kept dragging me back to CF every now and then when I was in JC1, but I wasn't really interested then and there. Aaron only asked me if I wanted to go for the CF Camp and then I just said "no" plainly, believing it to be a complete waste of my time. Then somehow, Jenn Yeoong got wind of it and insisted that I come. He INSISTED. So ok, I just went.
At this time I knew Aunty Ros already from my Barker days, and somehow or other, I don't know how. She called me and told me that she would fetch me from Holland Village all the way to the CF Campsite in Sentosa! I didn't know I had a divine appointment with God at that time. So I just went, expecting the CF Camp to be just another time wasting event. As I wasn't really interesting in the socialising and stuff, I didn't talk to anyone and couldn't give a damn about the people there. At the most, I was only listening during the service and trying to pray. Really, you can't pray if you can't be bothered about God.
Worst, my friend Jem (Jeremy Loo, 2AD2 2002) was my group leader. The camp was divided into four groups, each group would compete against each other for the games and stuff and would have their own individual bible study but everyone would go for service together. The camp was held at the Scripture Union campsite, a converted British Military Officer's Barracks on sentosa. Back to the group. I got dragged in and somehow I was like "second leader". Nonsense right? I'm such a backslider and they put me as "second leader"? Worst! I just said some really flakey stuff during the bible study sessions and everyone just nodded in agreement! Oh my goodness man! People were just coming to socialise! Big Sigh!
Well, I met Matt at the CF Camp. We hit it off instantly since we're from the same church and then somehow, his group didn't like his spontaneous nature (nonsense right?). Then there was Charle's group, where he was leader. It was basically Charles plus one guy plus lots of girls. Nonsense again! I felt this camp was really screwed up and a complete waste of my time. Even Aunty Ros and Jenn Yeoong weren't really around to supervise it. Worst, quite a few popular girls were at the camp and that was really distracting the guys. People were more interested in passing messages to each other during the services than listening to the message.
I thought the camp sucked. Until the very last night after dinner. We had the final service. I didn't really listen to the message. I didn't even want to go for the altar call. Then Matt dragged me to the altar, to be prayed for. Seems like people were dragging me to CF, then to CF Camp, and finally to the altar.
So Charles prayed for me and I was never the same again that night. Aunty Ros prayed for me as well. It was just incredible. The Power of God fell on the service and it separated the Sheep from the Goats. Those who had come to socialise and have fun felt tremendously left out at this time. While those at the altar and those who came for God were really filled. Matt went into visions and prophecy and I was just so filled so love. God was suddenly so real to me. And it was really suddenly. Like He just came in started to glow through me, within me. I could feel his presence so real. And His Power within me. Aunty Ros just spent extra time praying for me and Matt. Truly, the annointing of God is on both Aunty Ros and Charles.
I was never the same again that day. 14th November 2001. The day that changed my life entirely. Suddenly, the Bible came to life, suddenly it was really easy to love and I thought it impossible to hate. Suddenly my manner of speech changed, suddenly I could understand everything being said and taught during the service as well as small group meetings. It was a wonderful feeling.
"Blessed are they which hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." - Matt 5:6
I joined CF as a helper in 2002. I served God as faithfully as I can, not expecting anything in return. Charles was really good to me. He just took me and Matt and gave us Bible study and we would meet during recess break in school when I was in JC2 to just pray for the school. And it was just the few of us. Not the rest of the CF. We would just meet after school to talk about God and have little worship sessions in the CF room with people peeking through. It was incredible. Charles taught me alot of things about God.
He is really Holy. He is very anointed. His prayer avails much. He is very wise and highly knowledgeable, yet understanding, kind, bearing much Fruit of the Spirit in his life. Somehow, he always blesses us, prays for us. The fact is that I'm a crappy Christian! And he is like the holiest person in the whole school. You can walk near him and feel his annointing! Not only that, he is a true gentleman. Very well spoken, highly educated, intelligent. Now he's a PSC Scholar doing History at Oxford. I'm very proud to have him as a friend. He knows many people. But amongst all the people he knows, he treats the CF people as friends closest to him. Truly a man of excellent Virtue, Great Christian Character, matured in Christ, matured in thought as well as speech and a great leader!
Without him. I won't be where I am as a Christian today. No doubt, Church helped greatly. But he and Aunty Ros were the one spark that ignited my life for God. There were times that the CF Committee was full of politics (sad to say), and Charles hates politics. He is more interested in God than position and glory. He really loves God and knows God to a very deep level. He is probably the only person in my age group that I know of who has great prayer stamina. He'll just pray and pray and pray and wait on the Lord for 2,3 5 hours. I can't do that! Its too difficult for me! But he can and its really easy for him!
I remember times after CF where we would all go to BK and have a nice dinner and talk about God. One thing I really respect about Charles is that he has one of the rarer and higher level spiritual gifts - the gift of discernment of spirits. He can tell the spirits apart as well as discern prophecy. When there were a few people here and there in school who were going around with prophecy, Charles just shot them down as false prophecy. He too can help weaker Christians to discern God's calling for their life as well as anything God might have said to them.
One noteworthy thing is that he preaches in CF every now and then when there are no guest speakers. If I'm not wrong, he has been preaching since the age of 14. At 14 I called myself a Christian but couldn't call myself saved. He's going to be a pastor in future for sure. When that happens. I'll do whatever I can to assist him in his ministry. Because he is really a man of God. One shining lighthouse in the darkness of this world. I believe that everyone in ACJC who has met in will say that there's something different about him and that he has somehow impacted their lives somehow. Always for better. To me, he'll always be a Reverend.
God Bless you Charles.
This is his friendster's photo. Some people in school have said that they take one look at him and they know that God exists.
for Joline
Wow! You wrote so much stuff for me! So in return I shall write something equally long, if not longer, given my long-windedness. Sometimes I really wonder why I blog so much even though the validity of my posts are like for 24 hours at the most only.
As for being a Policewoman. If I'm not wrong, Ling Ling from 2AH 2002 also wants to join the Police Force! So you'll have some AC company there as well!
Ok, for putting in a comments box, I think you can go try the Halscan one. They come with set up instructions that are rather simple and easy to follow. Try it at here. It can't be too hard. Just modify your template a little bit only. And I think you ought to like change the number of posts shown from just 1 to maybe 3? Its under settings. We are all technophobes one way or another as technology races ahead. But as long as well learn at a comfortable pace. It can't outpace us too much.
At the most, just install a link to a guestbook, the way mei does it. Guestbook is also good in the sense that all the comments are collated together. Unlike comments boxes, you don't need to individually click on each one to read new comments. The Tab-Board is novel, but isn't exactly fantastic I'd say. Only 200 characters! That's too little for long-winded people like me!
As for the 9 months training. You needn't worry so much about it being too tough. Its more slack than the NS people's. Plus you'll get much more preferential treatment anyway you go. Dropping out is rare. Currently, if you're enrolled to join the Police Force you'll go over to the Advanced Training Center where they train Senior Officers (S.Os). You'll have to study the law as well as take management courses. Very easy to pass one. Won't be hard. Plus you get better food and stay in better barracks
Currently, the normal regular junior officers at the Police Academy in Thomson road share a barrack that's 4 to a room. Normally the best you get, like for Coast Guard squads like mine are about 6-7 to a room. Plus you get aircon as well as a computer with internet access! Lots of privileges just a junior officer. Imagine a senior officer! The police force are trying very hard to recruit more women, so its very likely that you'll get in. Just need to pass the psychology as well as psychomatic tests that every officer has to take. As long as you're not psycho, they'll take you in.
You'll get better clothes, boots, shoes and when you pass out, become a member of the Senior Police Officer's Mess (SPOM). Its a very nice classy place just next to the Police Academy at Mount Pleasant Road - a refurbished Black and White Mansionette that looks as grand as a small five star hotel.
To host Crimwatch. You have to be with the Public Affairs Department. You know, Philip Mah's team that write to the papers, deals with the Media, does CrimeWatch, publishes police banners, pamplets, magazines as well as writes articles and speeches and give press releases to the media. Stuff like that. The office is at the Police HeadQuarters at Cantonment Road. Just got to write well as well as communicate well. As for CrimeWatch. The women police officer is more or less always an ASP. So with a degree that should be within easy grasp. But Police Psychological Unit is even more fun. If you've got a degree in Psychology, that's where most likely they're going to post you to.
Or you can join the Prisons! They're not really under police force, more under the Ministry of Home Affairs. So you can be a warden or a counsellor. But I don't think you want to work in a prison. Its a really screwed up place. I've visited it before and the atmosphere of the whole place just stinks. But I think the pay is rather good (its a prison after all!).
As for a dog. I'm not really fussy, but I was thinking on the line of a St. Bernard or German Sherperd. A Pit Bull would be cool, but that's not allowed in Singapore anymore. For me, I'll prefer a BIG DOG rather than a small one. And I'll take it on a walk every night in the darkness and feed it. But I feel it would be quite unfair if I'm always so busy. No time for the poor doggy except to feed it and sleep in its presence! For me, I don't really like small dogs as I might just bang it or kick into it by accident given how blur I am sometimes.
I enjoy patting or stroking a dog on the head. If his head's too small then its kinda hard for me to use my whole palm right? For me, big dogs are nicer. And they don't get lost so easily! Hahahaha! I can't take a high powered dog. I'm more of a mellow person. So I'd rather have a big dog I can pat, feed and do my own thing without it creating more hassles for me.
Ok as for relationships. Let's just put it this way. Its not easy to get into a relationship, much less maintain and upkeep one. For me, I've thought it true. If love is about choice. Then I think I'm too selfish to love. I usually can't be bothered with people - honestly. I don't care much for those around me. As much as I desire to be in a relationship, at the end of the day, things are so hyped up and there are just so many horror stories I've seen in ACJC. So I just thought it wise better to not bother about girls.
Besides, I'm rather weird by the way. No girl is going to like me for my eccentric personality. I've had like the poorest response from all the girls I've talked to in my life, save a tiny handful who are by nature just damn nice people and don't want to shun or shoo me away. Its good to be single and free and enjoy things as they come. Yet it is good to feel loved and to love. After all, the greatest feeling in the world is to Love and to be Loved. But that I think, is not going to happen to me in the next 40 years or so.
Quoting T-Squared, "I'll die single at 70." Its his motto. Even the class girls know it. Even T-Square has problems just trying to be good friends with the class girls - and he's a normal decent nice guy. What more me whose quite a disaster at relationships. You know, I really agree with you...As much as I desire to know more people. I don't like meeting people at all. I'd rather coop myself up alone than to mix around.
I think it really sucks trying to be with somebody, but knowing that nobody will ever want you. Ah, the pity indeed. You don't contradict yourself when you say that you desire a relationships even though you shun one. Sometimes, its not us, its more of other people. Yups. Nevertheless, I have to say that I do not have character good enough to be attached. For me, I don't want to break a girl's heart - its too cruel and too evil. So I'd rather not try at all.
"Some people try and fail, some people are trying, but you don't even try at all!" - Aaron
How true don't you think? Although there were a few girls here and there that I liked in school. I know that I know that I have no chance with them, save just one girl, but too bad, she liked this other punkish pi-kia wannabe in her class. So too bad for me. The best thing is that we never exchanged a single word in our entire two years in ACJC! I saw her on the first day of 2nd intake of orientation. I also saw her at the Prom when we took the lift down to the ballroom together. She's probably the only girl I have a real chance with, yet I chose not to bother about it. Or perhaps I was forever waiting for that secret JC crush to become single again - but that's too evil.
I can't imagine asking God, "God please make Maggie single because I like her so much". How selfish. How proud. How foolish! How silly a way to jump onto the relationships bandwagon! And how dumb a request it must sound to God. So don't feel sad that you're still single. Pray about it, but don't bother too much about it. It is more worthy to focus on the Lord than on a partner in life.
As for astronomy. I love it very much as well. Someday, I hope to own my own telescope. I'm not talking about a run of the mill thing, I'll probably invest in like a 10K dollar telescope at least? And perhaps try to hook up with a few brilliant electrical engineers and pay them to construct a small radio telescope for me? Perhaps I could get my hands on an X-Ray inferometer as well? The heavens are truly beautiful and a sigh to behold.
Astronomy is really fascinating. Just that in Singapore you get nothing but cloud covers every night as well as bright street lights that really interfere with the viewing of stars through the telescope. Galaxies, Nebulae, Supernovas, Stars, Black Holes all intrigue and interest me greatly. Someday I hope to learn the detailed as well as complex mathematics that astronomers use in their predictions as well as universe theories. Science has always been a big love of mine since I was very young. Now the only thing that will make that dream come true would be a Ph.D in Theoretical Physics. Emphasising that Theoretical Physics covers the universe, cosmology, stars, galaxies in general as a major part of the syllabus.
The universe makes you think and wonder. Isn't it wonderful to note that when you open up your bible and on the first page it starts so gloriously:
"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." - Gen 1:1
The newer versions translate it as "heavens". I'm getting it from the old King James Bible. I'm old fashioned after all.
day
I finally get to talk about my day. I think this is the longest blog post I have ever made in the history of my blog.
I woke up at 12.30 today! Talk about late! And I slept at about only 1 plus yesterday! I was basically so tired, I left my computer on and my body brought itself to my bed and plonked me down to rest. And now I'm still awake. I've seriously been getting lazier and lazier during my NS.
Ok so I just went to school to collect my testimonials from Lao Shi today. I'll get everything in order by tomorrow night and then I can send out my applications already. I hope. I really want to get into Washington University. It is the first step in receiving a good education. Like I said before, I'm not really interested in the in the paperchase or getting a degree "relevant to the economy". I'm more interested in about things that I am interested about: Mathematics as well as political science.
Other than that, I basically watched quite alot of TV today as well as lazed in front of the computer. I downloaded this 1965 video of the greatest Jazz drummer of all time, Buddy Rich showing him on the drums. All I can say is that you ought to go to kazaa and download it yourself to see how incredibly talented this guy is. The way he plays drums is very scary. But it all the more inspires me to take up jazz drumming. Truly, jazz drumming is the hardest to pick up, and requires great skill. But it just sounds so good and so much better than the drums on other genres of music.
I saw this documentary on the Discovery Channel today, it was on how some people secretly try to arrange meetings between North and South Koreans at the Ap-Lok river in China. It showed how some North Koreans sneak into China to meet their South Korean relatives, from whom they have been apart from for nearly 50 years in a sort of an illegal reunion. Its very interesting a show into that closed country called North Korea.
People are starving and dying under a terrible regime in North Korea. If Saddam Hussein was bad, Kim Jong Il is far worse! His people are just dying and dying and he lives a life of extreme luxury and grandeur shrouded in great secrecy. There was one part that hit me: This part where one of the North Koreans who have snucked into China illegally are taken by their South Korean relatives to coffeeshops for food. They way these North Koreans eat is like they have never seen food in their entire lives. This guy was basically using the serving spoon to heap fried rice into his mouth.
Somehow I hope to visit North Korea someday and see things from the inside of this closed country. As a Singapore citizen, I don't think it will so hard since our country is not seen as a security threat by North Korea. Perhaps I might be able to do some serious social work there, like bring in food for the starving people, or teaching the people better methods of farming, or to teach english there or to secretly bring in the Gospel into North Korea. That would be the ultimate form of evangelism I think I can do for my King. Die also nevermind. If I can convert one thousand North Koreans to Christianity in my lifetime, then for my life in exchange, I don't think its too heavy a price to pay.
But of course, I have to start. The fact is that I don't even tell other people about God even here in Singapore! I don't have good Christian Character, I don't know enough etc. Sigh. Sometimes I feel so incompetant at this evangelising thing. But whatever it is, I know that one thing is for sure, I need a very good education to get me off at the right track.
"Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men" - Pro 22:29
It inspires me to be better in my studies. Its also increases my chance into obtaining that rare visa to North Korea. Who knows, if I'm good enough and diligent enough in my work or my craft, I might meet the reclusive leader of North Korea someday and talk to him about Jesus. Sounds very far-fetched. But nothing is impossible with God. See how things go. =)
Oh! Breguet has sent me an invitation inviting me to view their latest collection of watches! Argh! I can't wait to buy my Brequet Classique, not to mention my Breguet Grande Complication Tourbillion! Breguet Rocks! Perhaps If I'm rich enough someday, I'll buy down the entire chain in Singapore from The Hour Glass! Hahahaha! Another dream I guess, but no harm doing something that doesn't cost a cent right? Irrational dreams are the stuff that keep us going at times.
I downloaded a copy of Road to Perdition from Kazaa. It took me about 6 hours. Today the connection was rather good as I got it at around 80 - 100 kbps most of the time. And when I tried to play it I realised that I didn't have the codec! Nevermind, a quick search on the net revealed this great site for downloading codecs. They even have links to let you test if you have that particular .avi codec, so basically you'll be able to watch any show you download off kazaa now without fear that you might not have the necessary codec to view the movie.
One more interesting thing. Lene Marlin is back! Yeah! That Nordic Platinum Blonde that gave us Sitting Down Here and Unforgivable Sinner as well as Playing My Game and Place Nearby? Her voice is hauntingly beautiful. Its not sweek or powerful, but it has very expressed overtones. Ok, so she's like one of the fewer modern day singers that I listen to, the other being Radiohead for their wonderfully depression inducing songs. I still prefer listening to Old Jazz songs like Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Duke Ellington, Dean Martin, Miles Davis and stuff. Today's nice oldie of the day is Chicago by Frank Sinatra.
I watched Road to Perdition on my computer today. Its a film that T-Squared recommended to me. Usually, T-Squared and L-Squared and I have similar taste for movies. We prefer older historical stuff. T-Squared recommended me Road to Perdtion, L-Squared recommended me The Pianist by Roman Polanski. Indeed, I enjoy historical shows like Enemy at the Gates as well as Schindler's List and The Thin Red Line, not forgetting Saving Private Ryan.
I love the show. Its so seeped in history. The classic architecture, the classic cars, the clothes, the speech, even the jazz music they play in the bars in the show are authentic 1920 jazz pieces! The soundtrack to the movie is beautiful as well! I love the orchestral music, not forgetting the piano music reminiscient of The Pianist and the lovely 1920s trumpet Jazz.
I tend to be a very old fashioned person who likes Old stuff. I'd like to stay in a Black and White house, I like to drive an old 1917 era classic vintage car, I like antique furniture and old stuff as well as designs and architeture of the past. I love gothic stuff, as well as old buildings. Old, majestic trees. I like old styles of art, old chinese paintings and caligraphy and ancient things like Ming Dynasty pottery as well as Shang Dynasty figurines. Yet I embrace technology like a geek. Someday, my house will be stocked with much old stuff, overlaid by modern technology and conveniences.
Well I am done for today. I have to go to sleep now. I have an in-service training day at the base. One off day kena burnt.
Another very long post. I have many things to say. My posts are seriously getting longer and longer and longer. I think I am seriously too long winded already. But I still prefer to write with broadness as well as depth rather than blog down scant quick summaries that are akin to playing computer games at 540 x 480 resolution. Less detail is no detail. I wonder who actually survives my posts and read them thoroughly.
Listen to this song. Its beautiful. I think its one of those very few songs that non-Christians will actually sing to during chapel, both in Barker as well as in ACJC. Garett (CF Vice-President 2001-2002) was fantastic at leading this song. His voice suits it perfectly.
Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that
You're my God
You're altogether Lovely
Altogether Worthy
Altogether Wonderful to me
Tribute to Charles Ng ACJC Class of 2AH 2002
Charles Ng. If there is any student in my entire life in ACJC or even in my entire 12 years in ACS that has influenced me in the greatest possible manner, it would be him. Truly a scholar and gentlemen and officer. This is going to be long, since I'm going to write it in storyline format.
The first time I saw him was at the inauguration of the 2001 CF committee. This was around early July 2001. At that time, CF was held at the SMR (Sports Medicine Room - as though its used for treating injuries!). I still remember that day really well. It was raining heavily that day (Ah Rainy Days in ACJC!) and I had just finished Economic with Leong Jenn Yeoong (who left the school end 2001), who was my form teacher as well as econs tutor. I was at the staircase at EL 6 (no longer in use after 2001) , my then base classroom, after tutorial was over.
Of all persons in my entire class. In fact, probably the entire school. I never expected my classmate Aaron to literally ask me to go to CF. See, Aaron's a Roman Catholic, as is Lester, so they put more emphasis on the "JC Mass" held in SJI every friday. Aaron was just in CF reasons unknown to me. So I was quite surprised when he ask me to go CF. Since I was still rather naive then, still playing practical jokes on T Squared as well as Vince Larkin (Vince Lee, 2SG3 2003) God was rather far from my mind - seriously. He was like the last Person I would bother about in school since I was having SO MUCH FUN!
If there's one school that distracts more than any other in this country, its gotta be ACJC. You've got pretty girls to look at, rich rich people to hang around with, connections to be made, sports, CCAs, friends to make, girls to hit on, practical jokes to play, classes to cut, lectures to skip, plenty of activities to do (like fly a paper plane in LT5), so more or less, God gets pushed to the end of the end of everyone's agenda. Come on, don't lie all the Christians! We'd all rather go to Paragon with girls than to "waste" 3 hours at CF! But I digress.
So yes. I almost forgot about going to CF with Aaron. Because of the rain, I had not gone home earlier and was just lazing around in the VOID DECK. Then Aaron, who incidentally was going to be late for CF spotted me and dragged me across the Netball semicircle to the sportscom (Sports Complex). So yeah, I went for my first CF meeting in ACJC rather grudgingly. Notably, Aaron left CF later in the year as he felt that it was too shallow, people were just there to socialise and stick into their popular cliches. At that time there were a few popular girls that were attending CF, so that's why quite a number of guys attended CF as well.
And then I saw quite a number of familiar faces there. Some of my Primary 1 classmates, a few secondary school ones, but overall didn't know anyone else. Then the CF Committee was introduced one by one, from president to vice president to prayer coordinator. For the post of Prayer Coordinator, it was "this fella called Charles and he's really holy". Ok, whatever. I'm just here to get out ASAP.
So Charles gave a long speech and stuff. And I wasn't really listening. I was sitting at the back (although Alvin kept asking me to come to the front). For all my life in CF in ACJC, I always sat at the last row. I only sat on the front row once and I didn't like the feeling. Later after CF ended, Leong Jenn Yeoong spotted me at CF. Jenn Yeoong was the teacher-in-charge of CF at that time. And he was SO SHOCKED to see me there. To him. I am like the last person he'd expect to see at CF.
So basically Aaron kept dragging me back to CF every now and then when I was in JC1, but I wasn't really interested then and there. Aaron only asked me if I wanted to go for the CF Camp and then I just said "no" plainly, believing it to be a complete waste of my time. Then somehow, Jenn Yeoong got wind of it and insisted that I come. He INSISTED. So ok, I just went.
At this time I knew Aunty Ros already from my Barker days, and somehow or other, I don't know how. She called me and told me that she would fetch me from Holland Village all the way to the CF Campsite in Sentosa! I didn't know I had a divine appointment with God at that time. So I just went, expecting the CF Camp to be just another time wasting event. As I wasn't really interesting in the socialising and stuff, I didn't talk to anyone and couldn't give a damn about the people there. At the most, I was only listening during the service and trying to pray. Really, you can't pray if you can't be bothered about God.
Worst, my friend Jem (Jeremy Loo, 2AD2 2002) was my group leader. The camp was divided into four groups, each group would compete against each other for the games and stuff and would have their own individual bible study but everyone would go for service together. The camp was held at the Scripture Union campsite, a converted British Military Officer's Barracks on sentosa. Back to the group. I got dragged in and somehow I was like "second leader". Nonsense right? I'm such a backslider and they put me as "second leader"? Worst! I just said some really flakey stuff during the bible study sessions and everyone just nodded in agreement! Oh my goodness man! People were just coming to socialise! Big Sigh!
Well, I met Matt at the CF Camp. We hit it off instantly since we're from the same church and then somehow, his group didn't like his spontaneous nature (nonsense right?). Then there was Charle's group, where he was leader. It was basically Charles plus one guy plus lots of girls. Nonsense again! I felt this camp was really screwed up and a complete waste of my time. Even Aunty Ros and Jenn Yeoong weren't really around to supervise it. Worst, quite a few popular girls were at the camp and that was really distracting the guys. People were more interested in passing messages to each other during the services than listening to the message.
I thought the camp sucked. Until the very last night after dinner. We had the final service. I didn't really listen to the message. I didn't even want to go for the altar call. Then Matt dragged me to the altar, to be prayed for. Seems like people were dragging me to CF, then to CF Camp, and finally to the altar.
So Charles prayed for me and I was never the same again that night. Aunty Ros prayed for me as well. It was just incredible. The Power of God fell on the service and it separated the Sheep from the Goats. Those who had come to socialise and have fun felt tremendously left out at this time. While those at the altar and those who came for God were really filled. Matt went into visions and prophecy and I was just so filled so love. God was suddenly so real to me. And it was really suddenly. Like He just came in started to glow through me, within me. I could feel his presence so real. And His Power within me. Aunty Ros just spent extra time praying for me and Matt. Truly, the annointing of God is on both Aunty Ros and Charles.
I was never the same again that day. 14th November 2001. The day that changed my life entirely. Suddenly, the Bible came to life, suddenly it was really easy to love and I thought it impossible to hate. Suddenly my manner of speech changed, suddenly I could understand everything being said and taught during the service as well as small group meetings. It was a wonderful feeling.
"Blessed are they which hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." - Matt 5:6
I joined CF as a helper in 2002. I served God as faithfully as I can, not expecting anything in return. Charles was really good to me. He just took me and Matt and gave us Bible study and we would meet during recess break in school when I was in JC2 to just pray for the school. And it was just the few of us. Not the rest of the CF. We would just meet after school to talk about God and have little worship sessions in the CF room with people peeking through. It was incredible. Charles taught me alot of things about God.
He is really Holy. He is very anointed. His prayer avails much. He is very wise and highly knowledgeable, yet understanding, kind, bearing much Fruit of the Spirit in his life. Somehow, he always blesses us, prays for us. The fact is that I'm a crappy Christian! And he is like the holiest person in the whole school. You can walk near him and feel his annointing! Not only that, he is a true gentleman. Very well spoken, highly educated, intelligent. Now he's a PSC Scholar doing History at Oxford. I'm very proud to have him as a friend. He knows many people. But amongst all the people he knows, he treats the CF people as friends closest to him. Truly a man of excellent Virtue, Great Christian Character, matured in Christ, matured in thought as well as speech and a great leader!
Without him. I won't be where I am as a Christian today. No doubt, Church helped greatly. But he and Aunty Ros were the one spark that ignited my life for God. There were times that the CF Committee was full of politics (sad to say), and Charles hates politics. He is more interested in God than position and glory. He really loves God and knows God to a very deep level. He is probably the only person in my age group that I know of who has great prayer stamina. He'll just pray and pray and pray and wait on the Lord for 2,3 5 hours. I can't do that! Its too difficult for me! But he can and its really easy for him!
I remember times after CF where we would all go to BK and have a nice dinner and talk about God. One thing I really respect about Charles is that he has one of the rarer and higher level spiritual gifts - the gift of discernment of spirits. He can tell the spirits apart as well as discern prophecy. When there were a few people here and there in school who were going around with prophecy, Charles just shot them down as false prophecy. He too can help weaker Christians to discern God's calling for their life as well as anything God might have said to them.
One noteworthy thing is that he preaches in CF every now and then when there are no guest speakers. If I'm not wrong, he has been preaching since the age of 14. At 14 I called myself a Christian but couldn't call myself saved. He's going to be a pastor in future for sure. When that happens. I'll do whatever I can to assist him in his ministry. Because he is really a man of God. One shining lighthouse in the darkness of this world. I believe that everyone in ACJC who has met in will say that there's something different about him and that he has somehow impacted their lives somehow. Always for better. To me, he'll always be a Reverend.
God Bless you Charles.
This is his friendster's photo. Some people in school have said that they take one look at him and they know that God exists.
for Joline
Wow! You wrote so much stuff for me! So in return I shall write something equally long, if not longer, given my long-windedness. Sometimes I really wonder why I blog so much even though the validity of my posts are like for 24 hours at the most only.
As for being a Policewoman. If I'm not wrong, Ling Ling from 2AH 2002 also wants to join the Police Force! So you'll have some AC company there as well!
Ok, for putting in a comments box, I think you can go try the Halscan one. They come with set up instructions that are rather simple and easy to follow. Try it at here. It can't be too hard. Just modify your template a little bit only. And I think you ought to like change the number of posts shown from just 1 to maybe 3? Its under settings. We are all technophobes one way or another as technology races ahead. But as long as well learn at a comfortable pace. It can't outpace us too much.
At the most, just install a link to a guestbook, the way mei does it. Guestbook is also good in the sense that all the comments are collated together. Unlike comments boxes, you don't need to individually click on each one to read new comments. The Tab-Board is novel, but isn't exactly fantastic I'd say. Only 200 characters! That's too little for long-winded people like me!
As for the 9 months training. You needn't worry so much about it being too tough. Its more slack than the NS people's. Plus you'll get much more preferential treatment anyway you go. Dropping out is rare. Currently, if you're enrolled to join the Police Force you'll go over to the Advanced Training Center where they train Senior Officers (S.Os). You'll have to study the law as well as take management courses. Very easy to pass one. Won't be hard. Plus you get better food and stay in better barracks
Currently, the normal regular junior officers at the Police Academy in Thomson road share a barrack that's 4 to a room. Normally the best you get, like for Coast Guard squads like mine are about 6-7 to a room. Plus you get aircon as well as a computer with internet access! Lots of privileges just a junior officer. Imagine a senior officer! The police force are trying very hard to recruit more women, so its very likely that you'll get in. Just need to pass the psychology as well as psychomatic tests that every officer has to take. As long as you're not psycho, they'll take you in.
You'll get better clothes, boots, shoes and when you pass out, become a member of the Senior Police Officer's Mess (SPOM). Its a very nice classy place just next to the Police Academy at Mount Pleasant Road - a refurbished Black and White Mansionette that looks as grand as a small five star hotel.
To host Crimwatch. You have to be with the Public Affairs Department. You know, Philip Mah's team that write to the papers, deals with the Media, does CrimeWatch, publishes police banners, pamplets, magazines as well as writes articles and speeches and give press releases to the media. Stuff like that. The office is at the Police HeadQuarters at Cantonment Road. Just got to write well as well as communicate well. As for CrimeWatch. The women police officer is more or less always an ASP. So with a degree that should be within easy grasp. But Police Psychological Unit is even more fun. If you've got a degree in Psychology, that's where most likely they're going to post you to.
Or you can join the Prisons! They're not really under police force, more under the Ministry of Home Affairs. So you can be a warden or a counsellor. But I don't think you want to work in a prison. Its a really screwed up place. I've visited it before and the atmosphere of the whole place just stinks. But I think the pay is rather good (its a prison after all!).
As for a dog. I'm not really fussy, but I was thinking on the line of a St. Bernard or German Sherperd. A Pit Bull would be cool, but that's not allowed in Singapore anymore. For me, I'll prefer a BIG DOG rather than a small one. And I'll take it on a walk every night in the darkness and feed it. But I feel it would be quite unfair if I'm always so busy. No time for the poor doggy except to feed it and sleep in its presence! For me, I don't really like small dogs as I might just bang it or kick into it by accident given how blur I am sometimes.
I enjoy patting or stroking a dog on the head. If his head's too small then its kinda hard for me to use my whole palm right? For me, big dogs are nicer. And they don't get lost so easily! Hahahaha! I can't take a high powered dog. I'm more of a mellow person. So I'd rather have a big dog I can pat, feed and do my own thing without it creating more hassles for me.
Ok as for relationships. Let's just put it this way. Its not easy to get into a relationship, much less maintain and upkeep one. For me, I've thought it true. If love is about choice. Then I think I'm too selfish to love. I usually can't be bothered with people - honestly. I don't care much for those around me. As much as I desire to be in a relationship, at the end of the day, things are so hyped up and there are just so many horror stories I've seen in ACJC. So I just thought it wise better to not bother about girls.
Besides, I'm rather weird by the way. No girl is going to like me for my eccentric personality. I've had like the poorest response from all the girls I've talked to in my life, save a tiny handful who are by nature just damn nice people and don't want to shun or shoo me away. Its good to be single and free and enjoy things as they come. Yet it is good to feel loved and to love. After all, the greatest feeling in the world is to Love and to be Loved. But that I think, is not going to happen to me in the next 40 years or so.
Quoting T-Squared, "I'll die single at 70." Its his motto. Even the class girls know it. Even T-Square has problems just trying to be good friends with the class girls - and he's a normal decent nice guy. What more me whose quite a disaster at relationships. You know, I really agree with you...As much as I desire to know more people. I don't like meeting people at all. I'd rather coop myself up alone than to mix around.
I think it really sucks trying to be with somebody, but knowing that nobody will ever want you. Ah, the pity indeed. You don't contradict yourself when you say that you desire a relationships even though you shun one. Sometimes, its not us, its more of other people. Yups. Nevertheless, I have to say that I do not have character good enough to be attached. For me, I don't want to break a girl's heart - its too cruel and too evil. So I'd rather not try at all.
"Some people try and fail, some people are trying, but you don't even try at all!" - Aaron
How true don't you think? Although there were a few girls here and there that I liked in school. I know that I know that I have no chance with them, save just one girl, but too bad, she liked this other punkish pi-kia wannabe in her class. So too bad for me. The best thing is that we never exchanged a single word in our entire two years in ACJC! I saw her on the first day of 2nd intake of orientation. I also saw her at the Prom when we took the lift down to the ballroom together. She's probably the only girl I have a real chance with, yet I chose not to bother about it. Or perhaps I was forever waiting for that secret JC crush to become single again - but that's too evil.
I can't imagine asking God, "God please make Maggie single because I like her so much". How selfish. How proud. How foolish! How silly a way to jump onto the relationships bandwagon! And how dumb a request it must sound to God. So don't feel sad that you're still single. Pray about it, but don't bother too much about it. It is more worthy to focus on the Lord than on a partner in life.
As for astronomy. I love it very much as well. Someday, I hope to own my own telescope. I'm not talking about a run of the mill thing, I'll probably invest in like a 10K dollar telescope at least? And perhaps try to hook up with a few brilliant electrical engineers and pay them to construct a small radio telescope for me? Perhaps I could get my hands on an X-Ray inferometer as well? The heavens are truly beautiful and a sigh to behold.
Astronomy is really fascinating. Just that in Singapore you get nothing but cloud covers every night as well as bright street lights that really interfere with the viewing of stars through the telescope. Galaxies, Nebulae, Supernovas, Stars, Black Holes all intrigue and interest me greatly. Someday I hope to learn the detailed as well as complex mathematics that astronomers use in their predictions as well as universe theories. Science has always been a big love of mine since I was very young. Now the only thing that will make that dream come true would be a Ph.D in Theoretical Physics. Emphasising that Theoretical Physics covers the universe, cosmology, stars, galaxies in general as a major part of the syllabus.
The universe makes you think and wonder. Isn't it wonderful to note that when you open up your bible and on the first page it starts so gloriously:
"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." - Gen 1:1
The newer versions translate it as "heavens". I'm getting it from the old King James Bible. I'm old fashioned after all.
day
I finally get to talk about my day. I think this is the longest blog post I have ever made in the history of my blog.
I woke up at 12.30 today! Talk about late! And I slept at about only 1 plus yesterday! I was basically so tired, I left my computer on and my body brought itself to my bed and plonked me down to rest. And now I'm still awake. I've seriously been getting lazier and lazier during my NS.
Ok so I just went to school to collect my testimonials from Lao Shi today. I'll get everything in order by tomorrow night and then I can send out my applications already. I hope. I really want to get into Washington University. It is the first step in receiving a good education. Like I said before, I'm not really interested in the in the paperchase or getting a degree "relevant to the economy". I'm more interested in about things that I am interested about: Mathematics as well as political science.
Other than that, I basically watched quite alot of TV today as well as lazed in front of the computer. I downloaded this 1965 video of the greatest Jazz drummer of all time, Buddy Rich showing him on the drums. All I can say is that you ought to go to kazaa and download it yourself to see how incredibly talented this guy is. The way he plays drums is very scary. But it all the more inspires me to take up jazz drumming. Truly, jazz drumming is the hardest to pick up, and requires great skill. But it just sounds so good and so much better than the drums on other genres of music.
I saw this documentary on the Discovery Channel today, it was on how some people secretly try to arrange meetings between North and South Koreans at the Ap-Lok river in China. It showed how some North Koreans sneak into China to meet their South Korean relatives, from whom they have been apart from for nearly 50 years in a sort of an illegal reunion. Its very interesting a show into that closed country called North Korea.
People are starving and dying under a terrible regime in North Korea. If Saddam Hussein was bad, Kim Jong Il is far worse! His people are just dying and dying and he lives a life of extreme luxury and grandeur shrouded in great secrecy. There was one part that hit me: This part where one of the North Koreans who have snucked into China illegally are taken by their South Korean relatives to coffeeshops for food. They way these North Koreans eat is like they have never seen food in their entire lives. This guy was basically using the serving spoon to heap fried rice into his mouth.
Somehow I hope to visit North Korea someday and see things from the inside of this closed country. As a Singapore citizen, I don't think it will so hard since our country is not seen as a security threat by North Korea. Perhaps I might be able to do some serious social work there, like bring in food for the starving people, or teaching the people better methods of farming, or to teach english there or to secretly bring in the Gospel into North Korea. That would be the ultimate form of evangelism I think I can do for my King. Die also nevermind. If I can convert one thousand North Koreans to Christianity in my lifetime, then for my life in exchange, I don't think its too heavy a price to pay.
But of course, I have to start. The fact is that I don't even tell other people about God even here in Singapore! I don't have good Christian Character, I don't know enough etc. Sigh. Sometimes I feel so incompetant at this evangelising thing. But whatever it is, I know that one thing is for sure, I need a very good education to get me off at the right track.
"Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men" - Pro 22:29
It inspires me to be better in my studies. Its also increases my chance into obtaining that rare visa to North Korea. Who knows, if I'm good enough and diligent enough in my work or my craft, I might meet the reclusive leader of North Korea someday and talk to him about Jesus. Sounds very far-fetched. But nothing is impossible with God. See how things go. =)
Oh! Breguet has sent me an invitation inviting me to view their latest collection of watches! Argh! I can't wait to buy my Brequet Classique, not to mention my Breguet Grande Complication Tourbillion! Breguet Rocks! Perhaps If I'm rich enough someday, I'll buy down the entire chain in Singapore from The Hour Glass! Hahahaha! Another dream I guess, but no harm doing something that doesn't cost a cent right? Irrational dreams are the stuff that keep us going at times.
I downloaded a copy of Road to Perdition from Kazaa. It took me about 6 hours. Today the connection was rather good as I got it at around 80 - 100 kbps most of the time. And when I tried to play it I realised that I didn't have the codec! Nevermind, a quick search on the net revealed this great site for downloading codecs. They even have links to let you test if you have that particular .avi codec, so basically you'll be able to watch any show you download off kazaa now without fear that you might not have the necessary codec to view the movie.
One more interesting thing. Lene Marlin is back! Yeah! That Nordic Platinum Blonde that gave us Sitting Down Here and Unforgivable Sinner as well as Playing My Game and Place Nearby? Her voice is hauntingly beautiful. Its not sweek or powerful, but it has very expressed overtones. Ok, so she's like one of the fewer modern day singers that I listen to, the other being Radiohead for their wonderfully depression inducing songs. I still prefer listening to Old Jazz songs like Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Duke Ellington, Dean Martin, Miles Davis and stuff. Today's nice oldie of the day is Chicago by Frank Sinatra.
I watched Road to Perdition on my computer today. Its a film that T-Squared recommended to me. Usually, T-Squared and L-Squared and I have similar taste for movies. We prefer older historical stuff. T-Squared recommended me Road to Perdtion, L-Squared recommended me The Pianist by Roman Polanski. Indeed, I enjoy historical shows like Enemy at the Gates as well as Schindler's List and The Thin Red Line, not forgetting Saving Private Ryan.
I love the show. Its so seeped in history. The classic architecture, the classic cars, the clothes, the speech, even the jazz music they play in the bars in the show are authentic 1920 jazz pieces! The soundtrack to the movie is beautiful as well! I love the orchestral music, not forgetting the piano music reminiscient of The Pianist and the lovely 1920s trumpet Jazz.
I tend to be a very old fashioned person who likes Old stuff. I'd like to stay in a Black and White house, I like to drive an old 1917 era classic vintage car, I like antique furniture and old stuff as well as designs and architeture of the past. I love gothic stuff, as well as old buildings. Old, majestic trees. I like old styles of art, old chinese paintings and caligraphy and ancient things like Ming Dynasty pottery as well as Shang Dynasty figurines. Yet I embrace technology like a geek. Someday, my house will be stocked with much old stuff, overlaid by modern technology and conveniences.
Well I am done for today. I have to go to sleep now. I have an in-service training day at the base. One off day kena burnt.
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