Listening to The Passion Worship Band - Jesus, Lover of My Soul
I just got back from cellgroup. I loved it, even though I basically did not even know half of the people there. By right, tomorrow I have to work, so today's cellgroup is a make up sort of thing. But somehow, I neglected to tell Merf that I would be sitting for my SAT II:Writing exam tomorrow and could actually attend cellgroup. Seeing how things are, I think its a good thing that I went today so that I can be at home tomorrow. Not knowing how everything will turn out.
Mum is really going through too much. She might slip into depression anytime soon and end up in the hospital. I don't know what to do if that happens. Already, she has to go for an operation that we can ill-afford on our own and furthermore, she might slip into depression. The fact that my brother is happily screwing up his exams hoping to drop out of school does not make things easier for her. For me, I honestly don't give a damn about my brother. He can go and die for all I care (as loveless as this might sound), but he absolutely does not want to listen to me or mum.
Let me explain, my brother is an EXTREMELY shallow person. I know that I am shallow. But he is like 10 times worse than me. No kidding. I am being very serious here as I write this. He is 16 years old, but behaves like a little child. He likes to scream and shout and play around and is absolutely unwilling to listen to me or my mum's advice. He will even fight me or mum just to get away from listening to our advice for him. Can you imagine that? He is really THAT shallow. I brought him to church in the hope that he might be a better person. But he just goes to church for the girls. Not that I didn't do that 5 years ago. But he PESTERS the girls NON-STOP and stalks them after church! I'm really disappointed in him.
For his age. He still enjoys watching cartoons. I'm talking about CARTOONS, not ANIME, not cow and chicken or powerpuff girls. Its CARTOONS meant for small nursery children! He just sticks to the TV for 8 or 9 hours a day, watching cartoons. I can't imagine that. He doesn't read. He does not read the newspaper, he does not study. He will find every single opportunity to do something that wastes time as long as he does not need to study. Seriously, when he's "studying", he just basically spends time on the handphone smsing girls or calling them. How do you talk to a girl and study at the same time? Worst, he talks to girls like 3 hours a night REGULARLY whilst "studying". Usually, if we ask him to study in the afternoon, he'll lock himself in his room and sleep. In the night time, he'll lock himself in his room and talk to girls.
My brother has literally, never passed a test or an exam in his life. He's failed all his subjects in every exam for the last 10 years of his life. I'm not kidding. He is THAT BAD in his studies, only for the fact that he refuses to study! He absolutely REFUSES to even read the textbook! And he will spend hours upon hours arguing and shouting about not studying and how we are being "unfair" to him by trying to coax him to study. Even for PSLE, he did so badly my dad had to make repeated appeals just so he could go the the Normal Academic stream at Barker. He has caused my mum SO MUCH Stress. Its enough to kill other people.
Worst, the thing is that Dad has spent like close to 2000 dollars a month every single month (even holidays) for like the last 4 years of his secondary school education to get him tuition in virtually every single subject. This includes English, Chinese, Maths, Science, Principles of Accounts, Geography and Social Studies. The thing is that my brother ONLY makes it a point to read the textbook during tuition time. After which he hits the TV again. Imagine all the money, It could basically pay for 1 and 1/2 years worth of education at a top US University inclusive of living expenses.
Every good tuition teacher that has taught my brother has lost patience with him. And I mean EVERY Single one of them! No tuition teacher seems to last longer than 2 or 3 months? My brother will not pay attention at all. He will NOT listen. He will just kick up a storm during the lessons that the teacher is teaching too much and for giving him homework to do. Believe me, I've seen my brother come home everyday from school for 2 whole years telling my mum and dad that there is no homework from school. Only to receive countless calls from the teachers as well as the vice-principal. Its so bad that the vice-principal (The flower) once called my mum in her office every single day for like 8 months in a row all because of my brother. In the end, my mum lost her job because her employers felt that she was spending too much time dealing with "personal family problems".
He makes a tremendous fuss when he is not even allowed to use the computer, he plays and plays and plays and plays with absolutely no restrain. Now here comes the weird part. He speaks perfect English. But his english grades sucks! He speaks so well, like a total smooth talking criminal. I've seen him hook up with girls he barely knows and bring them home - all the age of 15! You can check with those people who know me and know my brother. We are diametrically opposite in every single aspect. And I mean EVERY SINGLE ASPECT!
My friends are mostly intelligent, highly educated, wealthy, smart, God-Loving, decent people with good character. My brother's company include teens who indulge in pre-marital sex, drunkeness, highly uneducated school drop outs (not that I look down on them), usually come from poor broken familis and and act like they love God alot. And he acts SO WELL many girls are taken in by his flakey Christianity. I really don't understand the logic of this thing. My brother is simply a money wasting, lazy, unmotivated person who causes much stress to my mum.
"A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him" - Pro 18:25.
No wonder my parents quarrel so much over him. Just my brother's education status alone is enough to start a war of attrition at home. My brother is one major major major major major stress factor in my mum's life. I tell you, if my brother didn't even exist, mum's blood pressure would drop substantially. My dad is very unhappy about having thrown away close to a hundred thousand dollars on him only to see him continually fail in school. My brother is not stupid. He just does not want to study.. I honestly feel that if he does not want to study, let him go out to experience the cruel and harsh realities of life in the hope that he might wake up. Dad does not want to spend anymore money on tuition that is costing us a bomb but mum insists that Dad continue in the hope the he might pick up some things. This is one gigantic issue of unhappiness in my family.
In short. I have a brother who wastes LOTS of money. Dad does not want to waste the money. Mum wants Dad to continue to fund tuition. Mum and Dad quarrel day in and day out. And he is totally oblivious to it! Prefering to talk to girls, ask girls out. Buy girls lunch/dinner, send them home after outside tuition classes and just keep trying to socialise with girls. How immature and shallow he is indeed! And my brother does not even want to heed good advice. Mum says that he is likely to end up as part of one of the poorest segments in society, and I think so too as well.
My brother is 16. Compare it to this guy, he's 16 too and has been through alot more than me. Imagine suffering from Leukaemia at the young age of 15, having to undergo chemotherapy as well as radiotherapy, yet being able to score 9 points for his prelims in ACS(I) and is so on fire for God! Well. I think I know of one person whose going to join CF for next year. Check out his blog, how matured his writings. Daniel Log. Sigh. Both the same age. World's apart in terms of character.
You can really summarise our very different characters in the people we attract. Our friends are worlds apart. WORLDS APART I tell you. I really don't know what to make of it. Sigh. Sometimes I tell God why give me such a brother to screw up my family.
As for cellgroup. I enjoyed it, didn't really feel the presence of God as much as I wanted. But I really gave God the sacrifice of praise as well as worship. And as for the message. It was more of the "instructional kind" confirming to me that I'm on the more intellectual side of evangelism. I'm not really smart, just that I happen to know alot of people in CF who are really really smart. Three PSC Scholars alone in the CF Committee alone. There's one President's Scholar to comes for CF rather regularly and joins us for morning worship as well as prayer meetings. Then there are at least 2 Top ASEAN Scholars from Hong Kong in the committee as well. Seriously, CF has alot of very very smart people, so I probably been influenced by their style of evangelism, which is more towards the intellectual side. Besides, I enjoy finding out more firm proof and support of my Faith in God. Apologetics inspires.
Truly, God's people are amongst the most highly educated, brilliant, intelligent, smart and wise people I've met anywhere in my life. Even for our Junior committee, there are alot of scholars already. This year's ACjC Valedictorian, Gabriel, is the CF keyboardist, Tao Sun, the President, is a Top ASEAN Hong Kong Scholar. Jacqueline? An MOE Science Scholar. Everyone is just incredibly smart and brilliant. And I'm honored to know all of them as my friends. If i go to Washington University in St. Louis. I too, will be able to bring glory to God just from my academic qualifications alone. And i certainly hope to do so in education-crazy Singapore. To prove to people the fact that when you give your best to God. God will NEVER shortchange you and give you His best in return. That I believe with all my heart. I didn't really give my best to God when I was in ACJC. But better late then never.
As for today's SAT II: Writing. If I screw up, its all my fault. But if by a miracle of God I get my "ideal score" of 670-700. Then I can only say its from God.
Everyone! Check out Steph's Pictures! Brings back memories to what me and my class did on the last day of school as well! Its a very sobering thought to leave the greatest educational instituition in this entire country after 12 glorious and grand years. But for as long as I live. I will always be a TRUE BLUE ACSian! The BEST IS YET TO BE!
I just got back from cellgroup. I loved it, even though I basically did not even know half of the people there. By right, tomorrow I have to work, so today's cellgroup is a make up sort of thing. But somehow, I neglected to tell Merf that I would be sitting for my SAT II:Writing exam tomorrow and could actually attend cellgroup. Seeing how things are, I think its a good thing that I went today so that I can be at home tomorrow. Not knowing how everything will turn out.
Mum is really going through too much. She might slip into depression anytime soon and end up in the hospital. I don't know what to do if that happens. Already, she has to go for an operation that we can ill-afford on our own and furthermore, she might slip into depression. The fact that my brother is happily screwing up his exams hoping to drop out of school does not make things easier for her. For me, I honestly don't give a damn about my brother. He can go and die for all I care (as loveless as this might sound), but he absolutely does not want to listen to me or mum.
Let me explain, my brother is an EXTREMELY shallow person. I know that I am shallow. But he is like 10 times worse than me. No kidding. I am being very serious here as I write this. He is 16 years old, but behaves like a little child. He likes to scream and shout and play around and is absolutely unwilling to listen to me or my mum's advice. He will even fight me or mum just to get away from listening to our advice for him. Can you imagine that? He is really THAT shallow. I brought him to church in the hope that he might be a better person. But he just goes to church for the girls. Not that I didn't do that 5 years ago. But he PESTERS the girls NON-STOP and stalks them after church! I'm really disappointed in him.
For his age. He still enjoys watching cartoons. I'm talking about CARTOONS, not ANIME, not cow and chicken or powerpuff girls. Its CARTOONS meant for small nursery children! He just sticks to the TV for 8 or 9 hours a day, watching cartoons. I can't imagine that. He doesn't read. He does not read the newspaper, he does not study. He will find every single opportunity to do something that wastes time as long as he does not need to study. Seriously, when he's "studying", he just basically spends time on the handphone smsing girls or calling them. How do you talk to a girl and study at the same time? Worst, he talks to girls like 3 hours a night REGULARLY whilst "studying". Usually, if we ask him to study in the afternoon, he'll lock himself in his room and sleep. In the night time, he'll lock himself in his room and talk to girls.
My brother has literally, never passed a test or an exam in his life. He's failed all his subjects in every exam for the last 10 years of his life. I'm not kidding. He is THAT BAD in his studies, only for the fact that he refuses to study! He absolutely REFUSES to even read the textbook! And he will spend hours upon hours arguing and shouting about not studying and how we are being "unfair" to him by trying to coax him to study. Even for PSLE, he did so badly my dad had to make repeated appeals just so he could go the the Normal Academic stream at Barker. He has caused my mum SO MUCH Stress. Its enough to kill other people.
Worst, the thing is that Dad has spent like close to 2000 dollars a month every single month (even holidays) for like the last 4 years of his secondary school education to get him tuition in virtually every single subject. This includes English, Chinese, Maths, Science, Principles of Accounts, Geography and Social Studies. The thing is that my brother ONLY makes it a point to read the textbook during tuition time. After which he hits the TV again. Imagine all the money, It could basically pay for 1 and 1/2 years worth of education at a top US University inclusive of living expenses.
Every good tuition teacher that has taught my brother has lost patience with him. And I mean EVERY Single one of them! No tuition teacher seems to last longer than 2 or 3 months? My brother will not pay attention at all. He will NOT listen. He will just kick up a storm during the lessons that the teacher is teaching too much and for giving him homework to do. Believe me, I've seen my brother come home everyday from school for 2 whole years telling my mum and dad that there is no homework from school. Only to receive countless calls from the teachers as well as the vice-principal. Its so bad that the vice-principal (The flower) once called my mum in her office every single day for like 8 months in a row all because of my brother. In the end, my mum lost her job because her employers felt that she was spending too much time dealing with "personal family problems".
He makes a tremendous fuss when he is not even allowed to use the computer, he plays and plays and plays and plays with absolutely no restrain. Now here comes the weird part. He speaks perfect English. But his english grades sucks! He speaks so well, like a total smooth talking criminal. I've seen him hook up with girls he barely knows and bring them home - all the age of 15! You can check with those people who know me and know my brother. We are diametrically opposite in every single aspect. And I mean EVERY SINGLE ASPECT!
My friends are mostly intelligent, highly educated, wealthy, smart, God-Loving, decent people with good character. My brother's company include teens who indulge in pre-marital sex, drunkeness, highly uneducated school drop outs (not that I look down on them), usually come from poor broken familis and and act like they love God alot. And he acts SO WELL many girls are taken in by his flakey Christianity. I really don't understand the logic of this thing. My brother is simply a money wasting, lazy, unmotivated person who causes much stress to my mum.
"A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him" - Pro 18:25.
No wonder my parents quarrel so much over him. Just my brother's education status alone is enough to start a war of attrition at home. My brother is one major major major major major stress factor in my mum's life. I tell you, if my brother didn't even exist, mum's blood pressure would drop substantially. My dad is very unhappy about having thrown away close to a hundred thousand dollars on him only to see him continually fail in school. My brother is not stupid. He just does not want to study.. I honestly feel that if he does not want to study, let him go out to experience the cruel and harsh realities of life in the hope that he might wake up. Dad does not want to spend anymore money on tuition that is costing us a bomb but mum insists that Dad continue in the hope the he might pick up some things. This is one gigantic issue of unhappiness in my family.
In short. I have a brother who wastes LOTS of money. Dad does not want to waste the money. Mum wants Dad to continue to fund tuition. Mum and Dad quarrel day in and day out. And he is totally oblivious to it! Prefering to talk to girls, ask girls out. Buy girls lunch/dinner, send them home after outside tuition classes and just keep trying to socialise with girls. How immature and shallow he is indeed! And my brother does not even want to heed good advice. Mum says that he is likely to end up as part of one of the poorest segments in society, and I think so too as well.
My brother is 16. Compare it to this guy, he's 16 too and has been through alot more than me. Imagine suffering from Leukaemia at the young age of 15, having to undergo chemotherapy as well as radiotherapy, yet being able to score 9 points for his prelims in ACS(I) and is so on fire for God! Well. I think I know of one person whose going to join CF for next year. Check out his blog, how matured his writings. Daniel Log. Sigh. Both the same age. World's apart in terms of character.
You can really summarise our very different characters in the people we attract. Our friends are worlds apart. WORLDS APART I tell you. I really don't know what to make of it. Sigh. Sometimes I tell God why give me such a brother to screw up my family.
As for cellgroup. I enjoyed it, didn't really feel the presence of God as much as I wanted. But I really gave God the sacrifice of praise as well as worship. And as for the message. It was more of the "instructional kind" confirming to me that I'm on the more intellectual side of evangelism. I'm not really smart, just that I happen to know alot of people in CF who are really really smart. Three PSC Scholars alone in the CF Committee alone. There's one President's Scholar to comes for CF rather regularly and joins us for morning worship as well as prayer meetings. Then there are at least 2 Top ASEAN Scholars from Hong Kong in the committee as well. Seriously, CF has alot of very very smart people, so I probably been influenced by their style of evangelism, which is more towards the intellectual side. Besides, I enjoy finding out more firm proof and support of my Faith in God. Apologetics inspires.
Truly, God's people are amongst the most highly educated, brilliant, intelligent, smart and wise people I've met anywhere in my life. Even for our Junior committee, there are alot of scholars already. This year's ACjC Valedictorian, Gabriel, is the CF keyboardist, Tao Sun, the President, is a Top ASEAN Hong Kong Scholar. Jacqueline? An MOE Science Scholar. Everyone is just incredibly smart and brilliant. And I'm honored to know all of them as my friends. If i go to Washington University in St. Louis. I too, will be able to bring glory to God just from my academic qualifications alone. And i certainly hope to do so in education-crazy Singapore. To prove to people the fact that when you give your best to God. God will NEVER shortchange you and give you His best in return. That I believe with all my heart. I didn't really give my best to God when I was in ACJC. But better late then never.
As for today's SAT II: Writing. If I screw up, its all my fault. But if by a miracle of God I get my "ideal score" of 670-700. Then I can only say its from God.
Everyone! Check out Steph's Pictures! Brings back memories to what me and my class did on the last day of school as well! Its a very sobering thought to leave the greatest educational instituition in this entire country after 12 glorious and grand years. But for as long as I live. I will always be a TRUE BLUE ACSian! The BEST IS YET TO BE!
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