Listening to Hillsongs - You Said
I realise that I do not really value whatsoever friendships that come my way in life. Most of the time, I take for granted and use to my advantage the friends I have only to feel "a sense of loss" regret later on.
After my good friend NICO came over again today to settle mom's new laptop business. It just dawns upon me that besides going for the casual cycling trip. Nico has basically given me so much of his time, energy, effort and money as a friend. And I have barely even scratched the surface of reciprocation.
Friends are valuable. For the most part of my life, I never really treasured or tried to mantain the friends that I had. Most of the time, it would be me just taking advantage and using them to further my means. Alas, indeed another major flaw in my character.
Perhaps I really don't love enough to the extent that I have no real desire to treasure and upkeep the friendships I have with whatever friends in my life. Or maybe I am just purely selfish and plainly self-centered. Even for my mei, I have not really bothered much about her, seriously.
Its almost like I'm a distant entity to my friends, coming in every now and then to bade a request or favor of sorts. I have to change. I have to learn to love more. But how does one love more, if one has a terrible track record of friendship. It is so true that as we age, we get more set in our ways.
mei: You signed off as "mei"! What do I make of that? A shift in the paradigm? Well, yeah, as for that guy. I don't think he wants to be identified right? After all, most people would like to leave the demon of their past behind them. Let's meet up soon. Sometime next week. And yes, have a listen to "You Said" by Hillsongs. A very prophetic song. Faith inspiring I would add.
I realise that I do not really value whatsoever friendships that come my way in life. Most of the time, I take for granted and use to my advantage the friends I have only to feel "a sense of loss" regret later on.
After my good friend NICO came over again today to settle mom's new laptop business. It just dawns upon me that besides going for the casual cycling trip. Nico has basically given me so much of his time, energy, effort and money as a friend. And I have barely even scratched the surface of reciprocation.
Friends are valuable. For the most part of my life, I never really treasured or tried to mantain the friends that I had. Most of the time, it would be me just taking advantage and using them to further my means. Alas, indeed another major flaw in my character.
Perhaps I really don't love enough to the extent that I have no real desire to treasure and upkeep the friendships I have with whatever friends in my life. Or maybe I am just purely selfish and plainly self-centered. Even for my mei, I have not really bothered much about her, seriously.
Its almost like I'm a distant entity to my friends, coming in every now and then to bade a request or favor of sorts. I have to change. I have to learn to love more. But how does one love more, if one has a terrible track record of friendship. It is so true that as we age, we get more set in our ways.
mei: You signed off as "mei"! What do I make of that? A shift in the paradigm? Well, yeah, as for that guy. I don't think he wants to be identified right? After all, most people would like to leave the demon of their past behind them. Let's meet up soon. Sometime next week. And yes, have a listen to "You Said" by Hillsongs. A very prophetic song. Faith inspiring I would add.
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