This is very long
Listening to Bruce Springsteen - The Rising
Aunty Ros often reminds me that it is a miracle from God that I am in ACJC. Not just to be in the school, but to stay in it, pass through it and complete my 12 years in ACS. When I was on the way to the driving centre via MRT today, I saw plenty of AC people in the trademark White and Blue. And as much as I terribly miss donning it, it reminds me that God has been very good to me.
Most people would not know that I almost got kicked out of JC during my first year. I was one of those very exceptional persons who failed miserably in Chinese, yet did well enough to go to JC. So I ended up as a "special probational case". I remember my name was called out on the 3rd day after second intake during assembly in the badminton hall to go register for my chinese exam papers. That's when I met L-Squared. Basically, had I failed my chinese paper, I would be asked to leave the school. Quite a horrendous proposition. As usual, I'll reserve the banging of the MOE for later.
And I failed the chinese paper in May. Everyone I knew passed it. I was the only sad soul who toiled long and hard to get a miserable E8 - a few meagre marks from the life-saving D7. L-Squared got his D7. And I was the ONLY person left in the Chinese class. Of course, L-Squared couldn't cope with the AO Chinese and landed back nicely in my class a few weeks later. But yes, the prospect of leaving school was like a sword of damocles hanging just above my head. And then came CLB. The Live-Saving subject. They made special provision for me to study the subject even though it was only meant to be offered the following year. This is one part that God's grace has been tremendously evident in my stay in JC. Why, of all persons, me? For a special provision nonetheless?
I was never good in Chinese. All my life, I was the one scoring good grades in English throughout school, writing rather above-average standard of essays in class. Scoring well in my understanding, memorisation and interpretation of english literature. Come chinese and I would be like one of the lousiest studients in the school. And its ACS! The horror!
Well, I didn't just pass my Chinese CL B exam. I scored a MERIT. Till this day, I still keep that result slip. Evidence of God's goodness to me. And the best thing was that during all this period of time in JC1, I had strayed away from God. Quite far I would admit. The fun of being in JC1 just overshadowed God's importance in my life. I remember I only prayed before the exam paper and after and then I just prayed very occasionally for my own selfish desires. And yes, I forgot all the promises I made to God.
"God if you get me into ACJC, I will serve You in the Christian Fellowship".
My goodness, in a sense, I never did fulfil my part of the deal till then. I got into ACJC, but was far removed from His presence. So technically, God could just kick me out of the school if He wanted to. At that point in time, had I left school, no doubt I'd be sad. But my own sense of pride prevented me from feeling any potential loss. And my seared conscience of no guilt.
And then there was the probationals. Advanced to JC2. Almost retained because of my horrific results in the Promos. Perhaps that's the time I realised how foolish I had been. Then things seemed to fall into place. My form teacher gave me the form for the CF camp and insisted that I sign up and go while I plainly refused to do so. The best thing was that my CL B exam was on the first day of the camp. No problem, Aunty Ros PICKED me up from my house and brought me all the way to the campsite after the exam. Then I met Rev. Charles and Matt. And all the wonderful people in CF. And my life was totally changed after that.
I can safely, truthfully and honestly declare that I am no good Christian. Then, and even now. I realise how far I lag behind my peers and how slow I grow compared to the others. Very strangely, Jem, one of my very good friends from Barker and also one of the group leaders at the camp inisisted that I talk through the messages with the others. I am like so far from God and of all persons, I am picked to TALK ABOUT BEING CLOSE TO GOD? Sounds really out of point? And the part when I volunteered to say grace (because there was this long and awkward silence when Aunty Ros requested someone to say grace for lunch) that had everyone laughing at how foolish my prayer was.
When I was on the train on the way to the driving centre today. Seeing all the ACJC people in their White and Blue. And then stopping by Dover Station and seeing all the Polytechnic people come onboard. I would have easily been a polytechnic student in perhaps my final year in poly now. Perhaps doing computer programming. Never completing my 12 years in AC. There is this stark contrast as well as a moment of very deep reflection as how events came to be. How God worked in my life over a period of time when I was really unfaithful to Him.
In short. It is so true. God is faithful to us even when we are unfaithful.
For my unfaithfulness, I guess I never brought forth a good testimony of God in my life into the lives of other people. For this I regret greatly. Wouldn't it be so great an honor that one's life was a form of worship to God? That the very life we lead is a testimony to Him? That people would look at us and proclaim, "Because of you, I know that God exists.". Having excellent Christian Character, disciples in Christ, having a spirit of excellence and the authority for victory in their lifes. Overwhelming and invunerable spiritual walk. How I wish I could be like that. It is a deep desire of my heart. Even though I'm so messed up.
In greater inference. I almost dropped additional maths in secondary 3. I just could not cope. It was too difficult a topic for me to understand. In my mid year exams in sec 4. I got a big fat F9 for my A Maths paper. I almost considered giving up JC entirely and going to poly. How different a person I would be had I just dropped this one subject. Just one mathematics and it can influence such a huge chunk in my life. And now its the very subject that I plan to coach my brother in.
Drop A maths, end up in poly and still be a a student at this juncture of time in my life and most probably heading to NS only next year.
Struggle with A Maths, somehow end up in JC, somehow the chinese paper is in my favor, somehow get promoted after almost being retained, somehow complete JC and now I'm in NS. Too many coincidences I would say, though I know many would beg to differ. But its just a personal interpretation of events, objectivity is usually not a fifty fifty in such cases. Not to mention the whole run about with God and then going back to Him and serving in CF and meeting and getting to know all the CF people.
Friday night dinners at Burger King were always my favourite. The greatest way to conclude each week of a hectic student life mired with all kinds of silly activities that we put into play only at the very last minute. Of course, every now and then we coudl afford a nicer place like Billy Bombers or Swensens, but BK was the best option, since it was not just "AC Territory", but because plenty of the other CCAs, having concluded their activities on Fridays, would head down to BK for dinner as well. I reckons I went there so often the guy at the counter recognises my face and remembers that I'm "the only scrawny AC Boy around who orders a double whopper with cheese upsized".
So now, I plan to pursue Mathematics in the university. Perhaps because I can't think of other options. Honestly, Engine? Nah. Life Sciences? No Bio. Medicine? No Triple Science. Chemical Engine? No Chemistry. Architecture? I can't draw. Materials Engine? Nah, no interest. Political Science? Perhaps. Philosophy? Who graduates in PHILOSOPHY AT NUS? No thanks to Boon for his kind wisdom and guidance, that I have firmly set my sights on a Maths degree.
Quote Mandy:
I was thinking about university and Maths, and I remembered how Mrs Pauline Kan, my prev FM tutor told my mum that "Mandy doesn't have the flair for Maths". You know how she got that judgement? My results! What's new rite? Since everything in S'pore revolves around RESULTS. Whether you will become successful later depends on your results; Whether you are going to succeed in uni Maths depends on your results.
What can you tell from a person who scores very well in Mathematics?
Could he be a brainless mugger who just practice and practice, without any passion or love for the subject, for the sake of scoring A's? Or does he have the natural gift of Maths? Or maybe he loves the subject so much?
What can you tell from a person who doesn't score well in Maths?
Maybe he is just not good at Maths? Maybe he hates that subject? Could it be the teacher's fault? Could it be the educational system, and his inability to fit into the system is affecting his learning?
But someone did say, at the end of the day, it is passion that pulls you through and determines whether you're successful. Yep.
So who cares whether I had poor FM results? Who cares if I don't have the 'flair' for it?
I have always wanted to study Maths since sec 3, and nothing is going to get in my way. Not even a FM tutor who tries to discourage me..
I was never the best student in F maths. In fact, I was probably the worst in the whole lecture group. Constantly overshadowed by all the scholars and all the geniuses of mathematics and all the muggers and all the people who practised their maths frequently. Not me. But yes, I do have a genuine interest in the subject. I find it rather fun, insightful, interesting, even practical.
And everyone laughs at me and my choice, thinking its just "too crazy" or "just way out of point". But really, I AM WEIRD. And I DO have a WEIRD thought process. Perhaps that's my manner of reasoning. John Nash inspires me, his 30 years with schizoprenia is like a poster boy model for me. Not that I want to go crazy. But it at least goes to show that we should just do what we have personal interest or passion with, rather than to let circumstances dictate our paths. I'll do what I prefer and not what is convienient to land me a JOB in future. Thank You very much.
And for the record. I shocked and horrified not just my A Maths teacher, my E Maths teacher and the rest of the class when I scored at A1 in A maths during my Prelims. From 28 marks all the way to 88 marks. 10 marks improvement for every month I painstakingly practised. Certainly, God gave me much strength and determination to go on.
God is Great!
Listening to Bruce Springsteen - The Rising
Aunty Ros often reminds me that it is a miracle from God that I am in ACJC. Not just to be in the school, but to stay in it, pass through it and complete my 12 years in ACS. When I was on the way to the driving centre via MRT today, I saw plenty of AC people in the trademark White and Blue. And as much as I terribly miss donning it, it reminds me that God has been very good to me.
Most people would not know that I almost got kicked out of JC during my first year. I was one of those very exceptional persons who failed miserably in Chinese, yet did well enough to go to JC. So I ended up as a "special probational case". I remember my name was called out on the 3rd day after second intake during assembly in the badminton hall to go register for my chinese exam papers. That's when I met L-Squared. Basically, had I failed my chinese paper, I would be asked to leave the school. Quite a horrendous proposition. As usual, I'll reserve the banging of the MOE for later.
And I failed the chinese paper in May. Everyone I knew passed it. I was the only sad soul who toiled long and hard to get a miserable E8 - a few meagre marks from the life-saving D7. L-Squared got his D7. And I was the ONLY person left in the Chinese class. Of course, L-Squared couldn't cope with the AO Chinese and landed back nicely in my class a few weeks later. But yes, the prospect of leaving school was like a sword of damocles hanging just above my head. And then came CLB. The Live-Saving subject. They made special provision for me to study the subject even though it was only meant to be offered the following year. This is one part that God's grace has been tremendously evident in my stay in JC. Why, of all persons, me? For a special provision nonetheless?
I was never good in Chinese. All my life, I was the one scoring good grades in English throughout school, writing rather above-average standard of essays in class. Scoring well in my understanding, memorisation and interpretation of english literature. Come chinese and I would be like one of the lousiest studients in the school. And its ACS! The horror!
Well, I didn't just pass my Chinese CL B exam. I scored a MERIT. Till this day, I still keep that result slip. Evidence of God's goodness to me. And the best thing was that during all this period of time in JC1, I had strayed away from God. Quite far I would admit. The fun of being in JC1 just overshadowed God's importance in my life. I remember I only prayed before the exam paper and after and then I just prayed very occasionally for my own selfish desires. And yes, I forgot all the promises I made to God.
"God if you get me into ACJC, I will serve You in the Christian Fellowship".
My goodness, in a sense, I never did fulfil my part of the deal till then. I got into ACJC, but was far removed from His presence. So technically, God could just kick me out of the school if He wanted to. At that point in time, had I left school, no doubt I'd be sad. But my own sense of pride prevented me from feeling any potential loss. And my seared conscience of no guilt.
And then there was the probationals. Advanced to JC2. Almost retained because of my horrific results in the Promos. Perhaps that's the time I realised how foolish I had been. Then things seemed to fall into place. My form teacher gave me the form for the CF camp and insisted that I sign up and go while I plainly refused to do so. The best thing was that my CL B exam was on the first day of the camp. No problem, Aunty Ros PICKED me up from my house and brought me all the way to the campsite after the exam. Then I met Rev. Charles and Matt. And all the wonderful people in CF. And my life was totally changed after that.
I can safely, truthfully and honestly declare that I am no good Christian. Then, and even now. I realise how far I lag behind my peers and how slow I grow compared to the others. Very strangely, Jem, one of my very good friends from Barker and also one of the group leaders at the camp inisisted that I talk through the messages with the others. I am like so far from God and of all persons, I am picked to TALK ABOUT BEING CLOSE TO GOD? Sounds really out of point? And the part when I volunteered to say grace (because there was this long and awkward silence when Aunty Ros requested someone to say grace for lunch) that had everyone laughing at how foolish my prayer was.
When I was on the train on the way to the driving centre today. Seeing all the ACJC people in their White and Blue. And then stopping by Dover Station and seeing all the Polytechnic people come onboard. I would have easily been a polytechnic student in perhaps my final year in poly now. Perhaps doing computer programming. Never completing my 12 years in AC. There is this stark contrast as well as a moment of very deep reflection as how events came to be. How God worked in my life over a period of time when I was really unfaithful to Him.
In short. It is so true. God is faithful to us even when we are unfaithful.
For my unfaithfulness, I guess I never brought forth a good testimony of God in my life into the lives of other people. For this I regret greatly. Wouldn't it be so great an honor that one's life was a form of worship to God? That the very life we lead is a testimony to Him? That people would look at us and proclaim, "Because of you, I know that God exists.". Having excellent Christian Character, disciples in Christ, having a spirit of excellence and the authority for victory in their lifes. Overwhelming and invunerable spiritual walk. How I wish I could be like that. It is a deep desire of my heart. Even though I'm so messed up.
In greater inference. I almost dropped additional maths in secondary 3. I just could not cope. It was too difficult a topic for me to understand. In my mid year exams in sec 4. I got a big fat F9 for my A Maths paper. I almost considered giving up JC entirely and going to poly. How different a person I would be had I just dropped this one subject. Just one mathematics and it can influence such a huge chunk in my life. And now its the very subject that I plan to coach my brother in.
Drop A maths, end up in poly and still be a a student at this juncture of time in my life and most probably heading to NS only next year.
Struggle with A Maths, somehow end up in JC, somehow the chinese paper is in my favor, somehow get promoted after almost being retained, somehow complete JC and now I'm in NS. Too many coincidences I would say, though I know many would beg to differ. But its just a personal interpretation of events, objectivity is usually not a fifty fifty in such cases. Not to mention the whole run about with God and then going back to Him and serving in CF and meeting and getting to know all the CF people.
Friday night dinners at Burger King were always my favourite. The greatest way to conclude each week of a hectic student life mired with all kinds of silly activities that we put into play only at the very last minute. Of course, every now and then we coudl afford a nicer place like Billy Bombers or Swensens, but BK was the best option, since it was not just "AC Territory", but because plenty of the other CCAs, having concluded their activities on Fridays, would head down to BK for dinner as well. I reckons I went there so often the guy at the counter recognises my face and remembers that I'm "the only scrawny AC Boy around who orders a double whopper with cheese upsized".
So now, I plan to pursue Mathematics in the university. Perhaps because I can't think of other options. Honestly, Engine? Nah. Life Sciences? No Bio. Medicine? No Triple Science. Chemical Engine? No Chemistry. Architecture? I can't draw. Materials Engine? Nah, no interest. Political Science? Perhaps. Philosophy? Who graduates in PHILOSOPHY AT NUS? No thanks to Boon for his kind wisdom and guidance, that I have firmly set my sights on a Maths degree.
Quote Mandy:
I was thinking about university and Maths, and I remembered how Mrs Pauline Kan, my prev FM tutor told my mum that "Mandy doesn't have the flair for Maths". You know how she got that judgement? My results! What's new rite? Since everything in S'pore revolves around RESULTS. Whether you will become successful later depends on your results; Whether you are going to succeed in uni Maths depends on your results.
What can you tell from a person who scores very well in Mathematics?
Could he be a brainless mugger who just practice and practice, without any passion or love for the subject, for the sake of scoring A's? Or does he have the natural gift of Maths? Or maybe he loves the subject so much?
What can you tell from a person who doesn't score well in Maths?
Maybe he is just not good at Maths? Maybe he hates that subject? Could it be the teacher's fault? Could it be the educational system, and his inability to fit into the system is affecting his learning?
But someone did say, at the end of the day, it is passion that pulls you through and determines whether you're successful. Yep.
So who cares whether I had poor FM results? Who cares if I don't have the 'flair' for it?
I have always wanted to study Maths since sec 3, and nothing is going to get in my way. Not even a FM tutor who tries to discourage me..
I was never the best student in F maths. In fact, I was probably the worst in the whole lecture group. Constantly overshadowed by all the scholars and all the geniuses of mathematics and all the muggers and all the people who practised their maths frequently. Not me. But yes, I do have a genuine interest in the subject. I find it rather fun, insightful, interesting, even practical.
And everyone laughs at me and my choice, thinking its just "too crazy" or "just way out of point". But really, I AM WEIRD. And I DO have a WEIRD thought process. Perhaps that's my manner of reasoning. John Nash inspires me, his 30 years with schizoprenia is like a poster boy model for me. Not that I want to go crazy. But it at least goes to show that we should just do what we have personal interest or passion with, rather than to let circumstances dictate our paths. I'll do what I prefer and not what is convienient to land me a JOB in future. Thank You very much.
And for the record. I shocked and horrified not just my A Maths teacher, my E Maths teacher and the rest of the class when I scored at A1 in A maths during my Prelims. From 28 marks all the way to 88 marks. 10 marks improvement for every month I painstakingly practised. Certainly, God gave me much strength and determination to go on.
God is Great!
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