OListening to Passion - We Cry Holy
I almost lost sight in my left eye yesterday. As I type this, I can only see through my left eye in a blur fashion. Is too painful to open my eye. Opening the right one inevitably leads to pain in the left one. Quite a horrible feeling indeed. But I just want to thank God that I did not lose my eyesight yesterday. I cannot imagine my life should I have lost sight in one eye. Not that I would be a bitter and suicidal person, but perhaps, I would never see the world in the same way again.
I was playing a game with a group of people and one of the exercises involved this "Trust-Fall" game. Its a game commonly played in the army. What happens is that one person will stand on a stack of chairs at shoulder level, fold his arms and then proceed to fall backwards into the arms of his teammates who are waiting to catch him.
So it happened that I was one of the guys waiting to catch another person and as this person fell backwards, he panicked and ended up striking me with a direct blow to my left eye. The pain was unimaginable. Usually, I have a rather high threshold for pain, but this one was just incredibly painful. A direct blow to my eye with another person's elbow (the 2nd hardest striking point in the body).
Immediately after the accident, I fell to the floor but was strong enough to sit up. I felt tears falling down my cheecks. At first I thought it was just an eye-reflex to wash away any dirt in my eye, only when the "tears" started to roll down my cheecks and drip off my face did I realise that it wasn't water. It was blood. I couldn't open my elft eye at this point in time, but with my right eye, I peeked out and saw blood dripping everywhere over myshirt, my pants and onto the floor. Blood was rapidly dripping from my eye.
I was lead out, unable to see, into a waiting taxi and was sent to the Singapore General Hospital. As I forced my left eye open during the trip despite pleas not to, I was slightly heaved when I realised that I could still discern some colors and had at least a minimal amount of sight. But everything else was a blur and I could only peek a tiny crack in the fold of my left eye. The pain was just terrible.
I called my home, my mum, my dad, my cellgroup leader, my mei, my ministry leader, my team in charge and T-Squared whilst on the way to the hospital. Upon arrival at the A&E at the hospital, which was just 5 minutes away, I heard the duty nurse gasp in shock. At this time, I didn't know the severity of the problem. I was wheeled into the waiting area where I could make out surprised gasps from all around. Then I realised that I could use the camera on my phone to take a picture of myself and to have a look at my injuries.
I almost dropped my phone. Half my faced was covered in streaks of dried blood. Immediately, I was wheeled directly into the triage where my blood pressure and temperature was taken and the nurse proceeded to clean off the dried blood from my face. All this while I was wondering if I could ever see with both eyes again. The feeling of impending blindness in one eye was greater than any other injury my eye might have sustained. Pain shot out everywhere in my eyeball, at the back, at the front, at the sides. I just kept my eyes closed.
And then I prayed to God. Quietly in my wheelchair. Somehow, I cried. Nothing emotional. I didn't even ask God to heal me or give me a swift recovery. All I told the Lord was that I trusted in His will for my life and if I had to lose my sight in one eye, then so be it..
Then my parents with my brother arrived at the hospital. My dad drove so fast that he arrived within 10 minutes of receiving my call. Normally, SGH is about 25 minutes away from my house. My mum saw me and exclaimed in horror. I couldn't see anything, but I coud feel her crash into the side of my wheelchair as she kneeled next to me to see my face. My brother saw me and could not say anything.
Finally my dad arrived and when he saw me, he just sunk to his knees. Mum was crying and my Dad started pacing around asking the nurses when the doctor would see me. Sad to say, we only received the flat reply that "the eye specialist was on call and he might be here in about two hours". My dad was so peeved. If there's one thing he really dislikes about this country, it would be the standard of medical care in the public health-care system. Then against the wishes of mum, he decided to take me to another hospital.
I heard him make a few calls to a few doctor friends of his and requested immediate backup medical care for me as well as an eye specialist at Mount Elizabeth Hospital, before I knew it, I was wheeled out quickly and bundled into my Dad's car. We had wasted about half an hours at SGH.
My Dad has an excellent driving safety record. No accident in 20 years. He used to be an extreme sports driver in his younger days and for a while, was a professional racing driver. All I can say was that he drove like a racing driver to get me to the hospital. Mum suggested chartering an ambulance, but my Dad insisted that he do his "old driving thing". Within 10 minutes, we had arrived at the Mount Elizabeth hospital where there was a whole slew of medical personnel on standby waiting for my arrival. I was brought in and a doctor came to attend to me immediately.
Only did I realise that my dad was not willing to spare a single dollar to get me the best medical attention from the best doctors in the whole country. The doctor cleaned up my eye and all the dried blood, stopped the bleeding and put anasthetic into my eye to reduce the pain. After which, she opened my eye and I was glad to be able to see, even if it was just a blur.
I was taken for X-rays to see if any fragments of my spectacle lenses entered into my eye as well as to check for any broken bone in the eye socket. Everything was done extremely quickly and with great precision. After that, I was pushed (I was now on a bed) back into the A & E ward to wait for the eye specialist.
Then out of nowhere, my mei popped up! I couldn't believe it at first. I had only called her and informed her of my situation about at the most 20 minutes ago, never would I have expected her to show up! I was in bad shaped, my lips were all cracked and I was looking like a old hag from some horror show whne she saw me. I forced my eyes open to see her and well, the only thing I could make out was that she had cut her hair. But nevertheless, at pretty and blubbly as ever.
And then I realised, I almost forgot. To call Aunty Ros! I asked my brother to call her and my brother came back saying that she had rallied a whole group of parents at the PSG (Parent's Suport Group) to pray for me. Woah, Thank God. Merf smsed to say that he got the whole cellgroup to pray for me. My ministry heads called to say that "we are all praying for you". I guess it is only in the darkess period of our lives that we realise who we can really trust, turn to and lean upon. I have found great support, care and love in the members of God's family.
Then the eye specialist walked in. Apparently, Dad has requested for the best eye specialist in the country to tend to me. Only later did I find out that the doctor that saw to me was really some super big shot in the area of eye medicine. He checked my eye, washed it out, removed some foreign debrisstuck inside my eye and gave me a quick eye diagnostic test and announced that I would be just fine and my eyesight would not be affected. Although the blurring would eventually subside as my sight would restore gradually. I was very happy at this point in time. My mum and dad were very relieved. And mei, very ahpy for me. Although I could not see it, I I could fee it.
The nurse bandaged up my eye and I looked like some pirate of a one-eyed jack from some movie. Although I was still in pain, the fact that I still had my eyesight negated the fact that I had other injuries as well. The eye specialist requested that I be transferred to the cosmetic plastic surgeon for stitching up of the wounds around my eye. That's where all the blood ahad come from. The doctor told me that my eyelid, eye lash and surrounding flesh had taken the brunt of the impact and I was very lucky that my spectacle lenses did not enter my eye.
Dad sent back mei and later, I just went home to sleep on the bed. No appetite and I was just so weakened by the trauma of the whole thing. Amazing how much energy just gets sucked up when I am worried and filled with anxiety. My breathing rate was messed up as was my heart rate. But I just slept after crying a prayer of thanks to God.
And my mei prayed for me openly in the car when we sent her home. I am so touched. I really don't know what to say. Most of my life, I've denied my emotions, chosing to just act in a skewed form of manhood (macho?). Only to realise that a real grown man who is truly living in Godly manhood will never be ashamed to show his tears. I just cried in my heart.
After that which I left.
I just want to Thank God that I did not lose my eyesight. Thank God that my spectacle lenses did not splinter and pierce my eye. Thank God that almost every other area except the eyeball itself took the force of the blow, only with minimal injury to the eyebal. As of now, I can only look up and down, looking sideways in both directions hurts badly. But I believe that it will heal in no time at all.
Today I was taken to the plastic surgeon to stitch up my wounds. NOt that I am vain, but because the plastic surgeon is usually the most skilled and experienced person in stitching up wounds on the face. In the end, I ended up with one of the top plastic surgeons in the country to stitch up my wounds. Dad was really sparing no expense to get me treated. My dad had stitching done on himself before for a deep cut and that stitching was done so poorly along with poor quality stitches that it left an ugly scar on Dad's arm. thus, I believe, with concerns to my face, that only the best stitches and the best medical professional would do.
The plastic surgeon cleaned up all of my wounds and proceeded to give me a series of 12 injections around the area of my eye. Normally, the skin on the face is quite thick, so there is little or no pain. But when he pricked my nose. It hurt! And therew as this one part that made me very nervous and that was that he had to inject directly onto my eyelid. Scary! One wrong move and I'm blind!
then he proceeded to stitch up my cuts and put antibiotic cream on them. I had one deep cut on my eyelid as with three deep cuts just below my eye. Twenty stiches in total. Other people get 10 for a deep cut on the arm during a motorbike accident and I get 20 for a series of 4 small but deep cuts on my face. Other than that, I can half open my eyes, any further and it hurts, so I just close both my eyes and look only when necessary. have to let the wounds heal
But I thank God for all his blessings. Just a few treatments and the bill is nearly two grand. And I have not even counted the cost of removing my stiches as well as follow up eye examinations. But I thank God. I guess words are so inadequate at times. Perhaps only a heart felt with a deep sense of gratitutde and renewed trust in the Lord would please Him in thanksgiving. I look horrible now, but I don't care. When I submitted my MC at the base, the officer personnel just gave me a reaction of shock and one of them told me that "if you had a girlfriend, she's run away from you because your looks have just changed so drastically". Well, I guess that's why it is just so much wiser to invest into character.
Even the doctor told me, that such a thing would affect my looks, but I didn't care. Looks suddenly feel so superficial to me now. Greatly enforced by this event. I shoudl learn to see beyond the surface of people and look for the real treasure that lies within them. I'm just amazed how this even have open up my eyes (however wide) to an additional facet of life.
A blind man was once asked, "What is worst that being blind" and the reply was, "having sight, but not seeing". How true. So many have sight, but don't really see.
this event has reinforced my convictions to become rich. Rich not to be a show off, but just wealthy so that I can easily contribute to charity, give to churches, give to missions, give money to the friends who need it, give money away freely and easily without any worry, being able to bless people financially as and when I like to any amount that I desire or that person needs and most certainly, being able to provide top notch medical care under the best doctors in the world to my family and my loved ones. I don't want to send my loved ones to a public hospital where they have to wait and wait and end up only to be attended by a doctor who has only time for one minute per patient per day. To me this is unacceptable. I WILL draw wealth to myself!
And lastly. I have the best mei any kor could ever have in his lifetime. Like I said before and I'll say it again. She's just too damn nice.
I almost lost sight in my left eye yesterday. As I type this, I can only see through my left eye in a blur fashion. Is too painful to open my eye. Opening the right one inevitably leads to pain in the left one. Quite a horrible feeling indeed. But I just want to thank God that I did not lose my eyesight yesterday. I cannot imagine my life should I have lost sight in one eye. Not that I would be a bitter and suicidal person, but perhaps, I would never see the world in the same way again.
I was playing a game with a group of people and one of the exercises involved this "Trust-Fall" game. Its a game commonly played in the army. What happens is that one person will stand on a stack of chairs at shoulder level, fold his arms and then proceed to fall backwards into the arms of his teammates who are waiting to catch him.
So it happened that I was one of the guys waiting to catch another person and as this person fell backwards, he panicked and ended up striking me with a direct blow to my left eye. The pain was unimaginable. Usually, I have a rather high threshold for pain, but this one was just incredibly painful. A direct blow to my eye with another person's elbow (the 2nd hardest striking point in the body).
Immediately after the accident, I fell to the floor but was strong enough to sit up. I felt tears falling down my cheecks. At first I thought it was just an eye-reflex to wash away any dirt in my eye, only when the "tears" started to roll down my cheecks and drip off my face did I realise that it wasn't water. It was blood. I couldn't open my elft eye at this point in time, but with my right eye, I peeked out and saw blood dripping everywhere over myshirt, my pants and onto the floor. Blood was rapidly dripping from my eye.
I was lead out, unable to see, into a waiting taxi and was sent to the Singapore General Hospital. As I forced my left eye open during the trip despite pleas not to, I was slightly heaved when I realised that I could still discern some colors and had at least a minimal amount of sight. But everything else was a blur and I could only peek a tiny crack in the fold of my left eye. The pain was just terrible.
I called my home, my mum, my dad, my cellgroup leader, my mei, my ministry leader, my team in charge and T-Squared whilst on the way to the hospital. Upon arrival at the A&E at the hospital, which was just 5 minutes away, I heard the duty nurse gasp in shock. At this time, I didn't know the severity of the problem. I was wheeled into the waiting area where I could make out surprised gasps from all around. Then I realised that I could use the camera on my phone to take a picture of myself and to have a look at my injuries.
I almost dropped my phone. Half my faced was covered in streaks of dried blood. Immediately, I was wheeled directly into the triage where my blood pressure and temperature was taken and the nurse proceeded to clean off the dried blood from my face. All this while I was wondering if I could ever see with both eyes again. The feeling of impending blindness in one eye was greater than any other injury my eye might have sustained. Pain shot out everywhere in my eyeball, at the back, at the front, at the sides. I just kept my eyes closed.
And then I prayed to God. Quietly in my wheelchair. Somehow, I cried. Nothing emotional. I didn't even ask God to heal me or give me a swift recovery. All I told the Lord was that I trusted in His will for my life and if I had to lose my sight in one eye, then so be it..
Then my parents with my brother arrived at the hospital. My dad drove so fast that he arrived within 10 minutes of receiving my call. Normally, SGH is about 25 minutes away from my house. My mum saw me and exclaimed in horror. I couldn't see anything, but I coud feel her crash into the side of my wheelchair as she kneeled next to me to see my face. My brother saw me and could not say anything.
Finally my dad arrived and when he saw me, he just sunk to his knees. Mum was crying and my Dad started pacing around asking the nurses when the doctor would see me. Sad to say, we only received the flat reply that "the eye specialist was on call and he might be here in about two hours". My dad was so peeved. If there's one thing he really dislikes about this country, it would be the standard of medical care in the public health-care system. Then against the wishes of mum, he decided to take me to another hospital.
I heard him make a few calls to a few doctor friends of his and requested immediate backup medical care for me as well as an eye specialist at Mount Elizabeth Hospital, before I knew it, I was wheeled out quickly and bundled into my Dad's car. We had wasted about half an hours at SGH.
My Dad has an excellent driving safety record. No accident in 20 years. He used to be an extreme sports driver in his younger days and for a while, was a professional racing driver. All I can say was that he drove like a racing driver to get me to the hospital. Mum suggested chartering an ambulance, but my Dad insisted that he do his "old driving thing". Within 10 minutes, we had arrived at the Mount Elizabeth hospital where there was a whole slew of medical personnel on standby waiting for my arrival. I was brought in and a doctor came to attend to me immediately.
Only did I realise that my dad was not willing to spare a single dollar to get me the best medical attention from the best doctors in the whole country. The doctor cleaned up my eye and all the dried blood, stopped the bleeding and put anasthetic into my eye to reduce the pain. After which, she opened my eye and I was glad to be able to see, even if it was just a blur.
I was taken for X-rays to see if any fragments of my spectacle lenses entered into my eye as well as to check for any broken bone in the eye socket. Everything was done extremely quickly and with great precision. After that, I was pushed (I was now on a bed) back into the A & E ward to wait for the eye specialist.
Then out of nowhere, my mei popped up! I couldn't believe it at first. I had only called her and informed her of my situation about at the most 20 minutes ago, never would I have expected her to show up! I was in bad shaped, my lips were all cracked and I was looking like a old hag from some horror show whne she saw me. I forced my eyes open to see her and well, the only thing I could make out was that she had cut her hair. But nevertheless, at pretty and blubbly as ever.
And then I realised, I almost forgot. To call Aunty Ros! I asked my brother to call her and my brother came back saying that she had rallied a whole group of parents at the PSG (Parent's Suport Group) to pray for me. Woah, Thank God. Merf smsed to say that he got the whole cellgroup to pray for me. My ministry heads called to say that "we are all praying for you". I guess it is only in the darkess period of our lives that we realise who we can really trust, turn to and lean upon. I have found great support, care and love in the members of God's family.
Then the eye specialist walked in. Apparently, Dad has requested for the best eye specialist in the country to tend to me. Only later did I find out that the doctor that saw to me was really some super big shot in the area of eye medicine. He checked my eye, washed it out, removed some foreign debrisstuck inside my eye and gave me a quick eye diagnostic test and announced that I would be just fine and my eyesight would not be affected. Although the blurring would eventually subside as my sight would restore gradually. I was very happy at this point in time. My mum and dad were very relieved. And mei, very ahpy for me. Although I could not see it, I I could fee it.
The nurse bandaged up my eye and I looked like some pirate of a one-eyed jack from some movie. Although I was still in pain, the fact that I still had my eyesight negated the fact that I had other injuries as well. The eye specialist requested that I be transferred to the cosmetic plastic surgeon for stitching up of the wounds around my eye. That's where all the blood ahad come from. The doctor told me that my eyelid, eye lash and surrounding flesh had taken the brunt of the impact and I was very lucky that my spectacle lenses did not enter my eye.
Dad sent back mei and later, I just went home to sleep on the bed. No appetite and I was just so weakened by the trauma of the whole thing. Amazing how much energy just gets sucked up when I am worried and filled with anxiety. My breathing rate was messed up as was my heart rate. But I just slept after crying a prayer of thanks to God.
And my mei prayed for me openly in the car when we sent her home. I am so touched. I really don't know what to say. Most of my life, I've denied my emotions, chosing to just act in a skewed form of manhood (macho?). Only to realise that a real grown man who is truly living in Godly manhood will never be ashamed to show his tears. I just cried in my heart.
After that which I left.
I just want to Thank God that I did not lose my eyesight. Thank God that my spectacle lenses did not splinter and pierce my eye. Thank God that almost every other area except the eyeball itself took the force of the blow, only with minimal injury to the eyebal. As of now, I can only look up and down, looking sideways in both directions hurts badly. But I believe that it will heal in no time at all.
Today I was taken to the plastic surgeon to stitch up my wounds. NOt that I am vain, but because the plastic surgeon is usually the most skilled and experienced person in stitching up wounds on the face. In the end, I ended up with one of the top plastic surgeons in the country to stitch up my wounds. Dad was really sparing no expense to get me treated. My dad had stitching done on himself before for a deep cut and that stitching was done so poorly along with poor quality stitches that it left an ugly scar on Dad's arm. thus, I believe, with concerns to my face, that only the best stitches and the best medical professional would do.
The plastic surgeon cleaned up all of my wounds and proceeded to give me a series of 12 injections around the area of my eye. Normally, the skin on the face is quite thick, so there is little or no pain. But when he pricked my nose. It hurt! And therew as this one part that made me very nervous and that was that he had to inject directly onto my eyelid. Scary! One wrong move and I'm blind!
then he proceeded to stitch up my cuts and put antibiotic cream on them. I had one deep cut on my eyelid as with three deep cuts just below my eye. Twenty stiches in total. Other people get 10 for a deep cut on the arm during a motorbike accident and I get 20 for a series of 4 small but deep cuts on my face. Other than that, I can half open my eyes, any further and it hurts, so I just close both my eyes and look only when necessary. have to let the wounds heal
But I thank God for all his blessings. Just a few treatments and the bill is nearly two grand. And I have not even counted the cost of removing my stiches as well as follow up eye examinations. But I thank God. I guess words are so inadequate at times. Perhaps only a heart felt with a deep sense of gratitutde and renewed trust in the Lord would please Him in thanksgiving. I look horrible now, but I don't care. When I submitted my MC at the base, the officer personnel just gave me a reaction of shock and one of them told me that "if you had a girlfriend, she's run away from you because your looks have just changed so drastically". Well, I guess that's why it is just so much wiser to invest into character.
Even the doctor told me, that such a thing would affect my looks, but I didn't care. Looks suddenly feel so superficial to me now. Greatly enforced by this event. I shoudl learn to see beyond the surface of people and look for the real treasure that lies within them. I'm just amazed how this even have open up my eyes (however wide) to an additional facet of life.
A blind man was once asked, "What is worst that being blind" and the reply was, "having sight, but not seeing". How true. So many have sight, but don't really see.
this event has reinforced my convictions to become rich. Rich not to be a show off, but just wealthy so that I can easily contribute to charity, give to churches, give to missions, give money to the friends who need it, give money away freely and easily without any worry, being able to bless people financially as and when I like to any amount that I desire or that person needs and most certainly, being able to provide top notch medical care under the best doctors in the world to my family and my loved ones. I don't want to send my loved ones to a public hospital where they have to wait and wait and end up only to be attended by a doctor who has only time for one minute per patient per day. To me this is unacceptable. I WILL draw wealth to myself!
And lastly. I have the best mei any kor could ever have in his lifetime. Like I said before and I'll say it again. She's just too damn nice.
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