I have been thinking very very carefully about my attitude towards girls. I feel that it is better that I just completely stop admiring them because of their looks. Not only is it an unhealthy obsession,but iit is also a major distraction in my physical and spiritual life as well.
I did type a whole chunk in the following paragraphs, but I can't bring myself to post them. All I can say is that my heart just wants to love people for who they are and not what they are, men and women alike. My mind tells me to "ask God for a pretty girlfriend". Another major conflict between the divisions of my spirit and soul.
I cannot find valid reasons to justify asking God for a pretty girlfriend. I have asked God before in my prayer requests, but now realise how childish I am. I only want a pretty girlfriend so that I can show her off to my other friends, to show off "my ability", to use her as my pawn in the game of respect that all guys indulge in to a certain degree or other.
I have to say that I do get distracted during service by any random beautiful girl standing/sitting near me. Its like I have this tendency "to keep tabs on her", by glancing at her every now and then, even during the worship itself. I have absolutely no wish to put anything else before God, even a girl, lest she become an idol.
All I can say, is that I am being very selfish and unfair to God in this way. If God one day decided to only love handsome guys and pretty girls that met His "standard", then I think we all might as well go to hell since none of us would probably meet up to His definition of pretty and handsome.
Sometimes, I honestly wished that I was blind, so that I could not see the evil of the world, so that I could not judge people by their looks (perhaps I would then judge them by their voice, buts that's a different paradigm) and avoid having a biased or warped form of judgement that is skewed.
Henceforth, I shall completely and totally cease to judge girls by their looks, or admire them for their beauty. It is better that way that I learn to treat everyone I meet in this life with impartiality. It is not a sin to be ugly. We are all created in His image and His image is beautiful, so how then, can we be ugly?
I did type a whole chunk in the following paragraphs, but I can't bring myself to post them. All I can say is that my heart just wants to love people for who they are and not what they are, men and women alike. My mind tells me to "ask God for a pretty girlfriend". Another major conflict between the divisions of my spirit and soul.
I cannot find valid reasons to justify asking God for a pretty girlfriend. I have asked God before in my prayer requests, but now realise how childish I am. I only want a pretty girlfriend so that I can show her off to my other friends, to show off "my ability", to use her as my pawn in the game of respect that all guys indulge in to a certain degree or other.
I have to say that I do get distracted during service by any random beautiful girl standing/sitting near me. Its like I have this tendency "to keep tabs on her", by glancing at her every now and then, even during the worship itself. I have absolutely no wish to put anything else before God, even a girl, lest she become an idol.
All I can say, is that I am being very selfish and unfair to God in this way. If God one day decided to only love handsome guys and pretty girls that met His "standard", then I think we all might as well go to hell since none of us would probably meet up to His definition of pretty and handsome.
Sometimes, I honestly wished that I was blind, so that I could not see the evil of the world, so that I could not judge people by their looks (perhaps I would then judge them by their voice, buts that's a different paradigm) and avoid having a biased or warped form of judgement that is skewed.
Henceforth, I shall completely and totally cease to judge girls by their looks, or admire them for their beauty. It is better that way that I learn to treat everyone I meet in this life with impartiality. It is not a sin to be ugly. We are all created in His image and His image is beautiful, so how then, can we be ugly?
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home