I've realised that typing out long entries isn't easy. It takes up a whole load of my precious time (and freedom!). But nevertheless, I believe that it is better to express with many words than few. Though I know when not to beat about the bush and quit giving commentary.
Ever since I knew that at least one person reads what I type into my blog, the feeling isn't the same anymore. Its like my subconsciousness is withdrawing from this whole deal and not "feeding" the honest reflective me into the keyboard. Oh well, I'll try, I'll just imagine as though people whom I've never met in my life read this. There There, I hope such a "mental state" will ease the transition from a lonely blog, to a visited (albeit very few) blog.
I woke up early today to read the paper and get dressed for work. I call Coast Guard Training Work now because it is more of a 8 to 6 job for me. Even though I'm still training, theoretically, the feeling of going home everyday after training is like no other. Never have I treasured my freedom more than ever. Sigh, I pity my good ACJC buddies who are stuck in the camps for 6 days at a stretch, with no certainty that they won't end up "signing more". (Get Confined)
Confinement, probably the worst punishment ever, because unless physical torture, the pain isn't felt in the body, it is felt in the heart.
"Hope deferred maketh the heart sick..." - Proverbs 13:12 its nowonder that when a guy doesn't get to go out from camp. He will have a high tendency to hate the instructor, the camp the NS system, the law and I'm quite sure, the government too. Because of a natural manner of reasoning, one will feel that the government is responsible for all of this.
"Stupid government, I waited one whole year to be enlisted, wasted my time man, not worth voting for PAP in the next election" - Mohd Nazrin, my bunkmate during prep course. As I am not a very politically active person and knowing that the ISD is very active checking out the websites of Singaporeans for ANY political chatter. I shall refrain from commenting in this area.
"Our nation is surrounded by a cloud of fear, fear to speak up against the government" - Dr Chee Soon Juan. While I do not support his methods of obtaining a so-called "democracy". I can agree with him on that point to a certain extent.
"There is no such thing as perfect democracy in the world. except for Weimar Germany, there will always be a shifting towards the right or the left" - Dr Noel Ong, my Sec 4 history teacher. He's a great teacher. Inspires my interest in history, politics and philosophy.
Today was a very boring day as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary. OC just said that our squad was getting complains from the Senior Officers at Kallang Regional Base. Those FUCKING officers! why can't they just FUCKING hell leave us alone! EVERYTHING must also find fault: marching no good, not standing straight, talking too loudly, not greeting properly, shirt not ironed, shirt not clean, eat too noisily, litter, dirty the canteen and toilets and a whole range of crap.
OC said that it is like this. They are just out to find fault with ANYTHING they can find fault with and then punish the whole squad. Sometimes, these senior officers ought to be shot with a few thousand GPMG rounds each. I ought to get a Ph.D, sign on as a DSP and fire all these bastards out of the Coast Guard! But then again, I don't think God will be very happy with all my actions. Revenge is sweet. But its big time sin too.
Our HK MP5s ought to misfire sometimes.
Lunch was particularly bad. Nico couldn't even find the appetite to eat the chicken and the rice. He gave me his chicken, which as usual, I hungrily wolfed down. Being broke and having to ask dad for money, I can't spend like I normally do, so I end up hungrier than usual. Mom was telling me dad was complaining that I was taking money from him. But I'm like only taking 3 bucks a day lor! Sometimes, I feel that my dad is too sensitive on the issue of cash. Funny if I spend his money via credit card, he doesn't mind, but when I spend it via cash, he gets a little peeved. An oddity I would say.
Lessons today was all about nonsense. As Edmund stole my seat in class, I sat in the alternate corner with Nico. We were both doing JC Maths C and Further Maths questions. How funny. Class is so boring that I resort to doing mathematics, a subject which I was supposed to have let go off a long time ago. Class today was on mainly non-tested topics. Parts of the ship, what each portion of the ship was named (Starboard, port, bow, stern, etc). I yawned once during afternoon class and when SSSgt Isham saw me, he gave us an instant break! I felt guilty so guilty! At the same time, I thought I was gonna be rebuked by him or something, but thankfully, he did not. I guess he understands that after lunch, we are all tired and drowsy and have the urge to sleep.
One of my instructors, SSgt Thomas is like the horniest teacher I've met in my life. He talks about sex, masturbation, women, girls and all kinds of sexually related stuff during lesson. Even during physical training, he will try to assume sexually suggestive bodily positions when exercising! He doesn't speak very well, but I have to respect him then again because he wears the RED anchor. I wear only the WHITE one. White is the lowest (deckhand) followed by BLACK (steersman), which i hope to achieve, and then followed by the RED one (Helmsman). OC told us that if we had a class 3 diploma in Nautical Studies with Sailing, we would instantly pass out with a red anchor. I was thinking of taking time off in the future to take up some private helmsman courses. So that I too, can wear the RED anchor, which brings considerable respect amongst the Coast Guard staff.
I had physical training again, as usual, OC requested that we do 100 counts of jumping jacks, and that this rule stay as long as he was around to take us for exercise. We ran to Brani Hill again and then to the abandoned Naval Training School Base. I fell out again during the run, less chest pain I'd say, but my stamina wouldn't hold up. My running must be like in the last 1% of persons in the world. I come in last EVERYTIME! I'm so used to it already. It doesn't feel shameful when people understand that I have trouble running and that I'm putting in my best and not trying to KENG. (fake)
The two squads, 3 and 4 had a few rounds of soccer, basketball and stuff and then we were taken back to the base. I ran as best as I could, not the fastest, but I did mange to come in with 3 other people behind me. Tomorrow, it will be 4 persons. =)
I went home after the physcial training with Wei Loong. Surprise surprise, he also takes bus 61 home! Just that we always never go together. Haha, Its always fun looking out for SAJC girls at the bus stop opposite their school. So far I've only seen one really pretty chio bu! =P Can't help it. I think I have a fetish with SA girls or something. The uniform just makes them look so innocent, so honest. I don't think its a total uniform fetish, but more a "shared characteristic" of all the girls wearing that uniform. T Square would often comment on how sexy the skirt is and how "well cut" the blouse is. I don't blame him, I think AC girls' uniform also brings out the girls beauty?
My neighbour's an SAJC girl. And she's very pretty too! And HOT! Heard from my brother that she has an ACJC boyfriend whose in waterpolo/swimming. Haha, her skirt is seriously so short (cos she's got a narrow waist!). People will just be waiting to see her zao geng or something once she sits down in school I think.
On the topic of girls accidentally exposing themselves. I only had one "encounter" in the old canteen. Just happened to look at the wrong place at the wrong time. Its so sinful! But I know plenty of guys indulge in it. Mervyn once told me which girl often zao geng and where I could sit during recess, lunch and after school for the "best views". I sat with him, but in the opposite direction, so I didn't see anything. Mervyn is so funny, I can't believe he get's thrill on doing this kind of things. I wouldn't consider it a sexual disorder, more of an obsessive-compulsive disorder fueled by raging hormones that all guys have.
There was this website called JCguide, run by a former CJ guy who is now in Ngee Ann Poly during mass com. On this famous website, he wrote a review on the SA girl's uniform. One line REALLY STUCK OUT.
".. the girls zao geng easily because the skirt is not pleated...."
This one statement sent of a chatter of underground talk (AC lingo for talk reserved only for AC guys, no girls allowed) about this website and its "alternative sexual education" forum. I visited the forums and all I can say now is that Singaporean guys are just a really really horny bunch of guys that are held back only by the strong arm of the law. We ought to open up as a society and engage such issues more honestly, instead of resorting to laughter.
"The first time you see some pornography, you'll laugh, trust me" - Raymond Tjedokusumo, my sec 1 senior in ACS Barker. I think in this case, pornography is a very general term referring to all forms of entertainment by means of the use of women, for comercial purposes or otherwise. Its no wonder Mervyn laughed so much when he saw a girl in school zao geng. He's a great friend. I ought to call him up sometimes and go biking with him again. Hopefully he can as he's now an R.P (Regimental Police) - which my dad calls "small fry". Dad was an elite MPJ (Military Police Judge). I need not say more,
Dad's encouraged me to apply for New York University and to Major in mathematics there. I don't think its a bad idea as I wanted to do so during my JC days: to major in mathematics. Only thing that stopped me was my very bad A level results. Well, if I can get into NYU, frontdorr or backdoor. I will major in mathematics. Dad says that mathematicians are in high demand in every industry, economics, science, engineering, teachers, lecturers, business, government services, army and even police. I trust dad's judgement. Dad has lots of experience in the business world, so I don't think he can be wrong in this aspect, especially since it pertains to my education and life.
I've to go arrange my room again. its like only 10% done. Yup, I have ALOT of stuff to clear.Ya, here's another pic of Jeri. She's a 15 year old SCGS girl. Hopefully, 15 is old enough for me to not be accused for pedophilia! My brudder often jokes about Ivan liking girls between the ages of 12-15... often calling him a pedophile jokingly. Ivan is surprisingly sensitive to this world and objects vigorously. Hmmmm... Could it be true?
And I've realised, I'm just infatuated with her looks! It'll pass sooner or later. But I've got a question I'm pondering. Is it ok to ask God for a PRETTY girlfriend? Its like so self centered and yet the desire of my heart. Yes, I know that Love is Blind. But seriously, is it really? No one can love perfectly except for Jesus.
I'll leave with a quote Mr Kadir gave me. it struck a big chord with me. But I feel that it is not a justifiable reason to tell God WHY I must have a pretty girlfriend. Really. Mabye I just want to join the ranks of the other guys and compare our girlfriends based on looks, not character.
"You must be physcially at ease looking at your partner" - Kadir
Ever since I knew that at least one person reads what I type into my blog, the feeling isn't the same anymore. Its like my subconsciousness is withdrawing from this whole deal and not "feeding" the honest reflective me into the keyboard. Oh well, I'll try, I'll just imagine as though people whom I've never met in my life read this. There There, I hope such a "mental state" will ease the transition from a lonely blog, to a visited (albeit very few) blog.
I woke up early today to read the paper and get dressed for work. I call Coast Guard Training Work now because it is more of a 8 to 6 job for me. Even though I'm still training, theoretically, the feeling of going home everyday after training is like no other. Never have I treasured my freedom more than ever. Sigh, I pity my good ACJC buddies who are stuck in the camps for 6 days at a stretch, with no certainty that they won't end up "signing more". (Get Confined)
Confinement, probably the worst punishment ever, because unless physical torture, the pain isn't felt in the body, it is felt in the heart.
"Hope deferred maketh the heart sick..." - Proverbs 13:12 its nowonder that when a guy doesn't get to go out from camp. He will have a high tendency to hate the instructor, the camp the NS system, the law and I'm quite sure, the government too. Because of a natural manner of reasoning, one will feel that the government is responsible for all of this.
"Stupid government, I waited one whole year to be enlisted, wasted my time man, not worth voting for PAP in the next election" - Mohd Nazrin, my bunkmate during prep course. As I am not a very politically active person and knowing that the ISD is very active checking out the websites of Singaporeans for ANY political chatter. I shall refrain from commenting in this area.
"Our nation is surrounded by a cloud of fear, fear to speak up against the government" - Dr Chee Soon Juan. While I do not support his methods of obtaining a so-called "democracy". I can agree with him on that point to a certain extent.
"There is no such thing as perfect democracy in the world. except for Weimar Germany, there will always be a shifting towards the right or the left" - Dr Noel Ong, my Sec 4 history teacher. He's a great teacher. Inspires my interest in history, politics and philosophy.
Today was a very boring day as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary. OC just said that our squad was getting complains from the Senior Officers at Kallang Regional Base. Those FUCKING officers! why can't they just FUCKING hell leave us alone! EVERYTHING must also find fault: marching no good, not standing straight, talking too loudly, not greeting properly, shirt not ironed, shirt not clean, eat too noisily, litter, dirty the canteen and toilets and a whole range of crap.
OC said that it is like this. They are just out to find fault with ANYTHING they can find fault with and then punish the whole squad. Sometimes, these senior officers ought to be shot with a few thousand GPMG rounds each. I ought to get a Ph.D, sign on as a DSP and fire all these bastards out of the Coast Guard! But then again, I don't think God will be very happy with all my actions. Revenge is sweet. But its big time sin too.
Our HK MP5s ought to misfire sometimes.
Lunch was particularly bad. Nico couldn't even find the appetite to eat the chicken and the rice. He gave me his chicken, which as usual, I hungrily wolfed down. Being broke and having to ask dad for money, I can't spend like I normally do, so I end up hungrier than usual. Mom was telling me dad was complaining that I was taking money from him. But I'm like only taking 3 bucks a day lor! Sometimes, I feel that my dad is too sensitive on the issue of cash. Funny if I spend his money via credit card, he doesn't mind, but when I spend it via cash, he gets a little peeved. An oddity I would say.
Lessons today was all about nonsense. As Edmund stole my seat in class, I sat in the alternate corner with Nico. We were both doing JC Maths C and Further Maths questions. How funny. Class is so boring that I resort to doing mathematics, a subject which I was supposed to have let go off a long time ago. Class today was on mainly non-tested topics. Parts of the ship, what each portion of the ship was named (Starboard, port, bow, stern, etc). I yawned once during afternoon class and when SSSgt Isham saw me, he gave us an instant break! I felt guilty so guilty! At the same time, I thought I was gonna be rebuked by him or something, but thankfully, he did not. I guess he understands that after lunch, we are all tired and drowsy and have the urge to sleep.
One of my instructors, SSgt Thomas is like the horniest teacher I've met in my life. He talks about sex, masturbation, women, girls and all kinds of sexually related stuff during lesson. Even during physical training, he will try to assume sexually suggestive bodily positions when exercising! He doesn't speak very well, but I have to respect him then again because he wears the RED anchor. I wear only the WHITE one. White is the lowest (deckhand) followed by BLACK (steersman), which i hope to achieve, and then followed by the RED one (Helmsman). OC told us that if we had a class 3 diploma in Nautical Studies with Sailing, we would instantly pass out with a red anchor. I was thinking of taking time off in the future to take up some private helmsman courses. So that I too, can wear the RED anchor, which brings considerable respect amongst the Coast Guard staff.
I had physical training again, as usual, OC requested that we do 100 counts of jumping jacks, and that this rule stay as long as he was around to take us for exercise. We ran to Brani Hill again and then to the abandoned Naval Training School Base. I fell out again during the run, less chest pain I'd say, but my stamina wouldn't hold up. My running must be like in the last 1% of persons in the world. I come in last EVERYTIME! I'm so used to it already. It doesn't feel shameful when people understand that I have trouble running and that I'm putting in my best and not trying to KENG. (fake)
The two squads, 3 and 4 had a few rounds of soccer, basketball and stuff and then we were taken back to the base. I ran as best as I could, not the fastest, but I did mange to come in with 3 other people behind me. Tomorrow, it will be 4 persons. =)
I went home after the physcial training with Wei Loong. Surprise surprise, he also takes bus 61 home! Just that we always never go together. Haha, Its always fun looking out for SAJC girls at the bus stop opposite their school. So far I've only seen one really pretty chio bu! =P Can't help it. I think I have a fetish with SA girls or something. The uniform just makes them look so innocent, so honest. I don't think its a total uniform fetish, but more a "shared characteristic" of all the girls wearing that uniform. T Square would often comment on how sexy the skirt is and how "well cut" the blouse is. I don't blame him, I think AC girls' uniform also brings out the girls beauty?
My neighbour's an SAJC girl. And she's very pretty too! And HOT! Heard from my brother that she has an ACJC boyfriend whose in waterpolo/swimming. Haha, her skirt is seriously so short (cos she's got a narrow waist!). People will just be waiting to see her zao geng or something once she sits down in school I think.
On the topic of girls accidentally exposing themselves. I only had one "encounter" in the old canteen. Just happened to look at the wrong place at the wrong time. Its so sinful! But I know plenty of guys indulge in it. Mervyn once told me which girl often zao geng and where I could sit during recess, lunch and after school for the "best views". I sat with him, but in the opposite direction, so I didn't see anything. Mervyn is so funny, I can't believe he get's thrill on doing this kind of things. I wouldn't consider it a sexual disorder, more of an obsessive-compulsive disorder fueled by raging hormones that all guys have.
There was this website called JCguide, run by a former CJ guy who is now in Ngee Ann Poly during mass com. On this famous website, he wrote a review on the SA girl's uniform. One line REALLY STUCK OUT.
".. the girls zao geng easily because the skirt is not pleated...."
This one statement sent of a chatter of underground talk (AC lingo for talk reserved only for AC guys, no girls allowed) about this website and its "alternative sexual education" forum. I visited the forums and all I can say now is that Singaporean guys are just a really really horny bunch of guys that are held back only by the strong arm of the law. We ought to open up as a society and engage such issues more honestly, instead of resorting to laughter.
"The first time you see some pornography, you'll laugh, trust me" - Raymond Tjedokusumo, my sec 1 senior in ACS Barker. I think in this case, pornography is a very general term referring to all forms of entertainment by means of the use of women, for comercial purposes or otherwise. Its no wonder Mervyn laughed so much when he saw a girl in school zao geng. He's a great friend. I ought to call him up sometimes and go biking with him again. Hopefully he can as he's now an R.P (Regimental Police) - which my dad calls "small fry". Dad was an elite MPJ (Military Police Judge). I need not say more,
Dad's encouraged me to apply for New York University and to Major in mathematics there. I don't think its a bad idea as I wanted to do so during my JC days: to major in mathematics. Only thing that stopped me was my very bad A level results. Well, if I can get into NYU, frontdorr or backdoor. I will major in mathematics. Dad says that mathematicians are in high demand in every industry, economics, science, engineering, teachers, lecturers, business, government services, army and even police. I trust dad's judgement. Dad has lots of experience in the business world, so I don't think he can be wrong in this aspect, especially since it pertains to my education and life.
I've to go arrange my room again. its like only 10% done. Yup, I have ALOT of stuff to clear.Ya, here's another pic of Jeri. She's a 15 year old SCGS girl. Hopefully, 15 is old enough for me to not be accused for pedophilia! My brudder often jokes about Ivan liking girls between the ages of 12-15... often calling him a pedophile jokingly. Ivan is surprisingly sensitive to this world and objects vigorously. Hmmmm... Could it be true?
And I've realised, I'm just infatuated with her looks! It'll pass sooner or later. But I've got a question I'm pondering. Is it ok to ask God for a PRETTY girlfriend? Its like so self centered and yet the desire of my heart. Yes, I know that Love is Blind. But seriously, is it really? No one can love perfectly except for Jesus.
I'll leave with a quote Mr Kadir gave me. it struck a big chord with me. But I feel that it is not a justifiable reason to tell God WHY I must have a pretty girlfriend. Really. Mabye I just want to join the ranks of the other guys and compare our girlfriends based on looks, not character.
"You must be physcially at ease looking at your partner" - Kadir
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