Of Driving and Dating
Of Driving and Dating (Part I)
A Long, Abstract, Misguided and Disturbed Post
Depending on what time of the day it is, especially since I work odd hours due to shift work. Driving to and fro my base is usually quite a simple thing. I usually leave home very much earlier than most sinaporeans on the weekday mornings. While most people are having their customary cuppa of coffee in the morning, there I am cruising down Orchard Road en route to duty. Likewise, its more or less the same when I return from a day shift.
Night shift is slightly less manageable, especially when I leave my house during the peak hour time when most people are making their way home. Its only on certain stretches of road that are badly clogged up. And most of the time, its free flowing traffic for me, while I can see that traffic has come to an absolute standstill in the opposite direction. Worst days are friday nights I tell you. The traffic jams are so bad that it is better to take public transport rather than to drive. Personally, besides these odd off-peak hours where I commute, I would say that driving in Singapore is one helluva very stressful activity indeed. And to be honest, I do not really enjoy it one bit at all.
I notice that most road users in Singapore tend to be on the more not-so-courteous side. Most of the time I usually encounter road hoggers in the right lane. If not, its tailgaters in the extreme right lane. And of course, the ever increasing number of motorist who almost never give way. Even when you've been signalling continuously for like 2 minutes. It is like, if I speed up, they speed up and when I slow down, they slow down too. Maybe its like a form of road bullying. And its obvious to everyone that I'm a "new" and hence "lousy" driver when I have a nice bright fluroscent P-Plate attached to the front and rear car windscreens. Notably, I find motorcyclists harder to overtake than normal cars. Simpley because it is rather difficult to estimate whether you have just enough road space to go alongside them in heavy traffic. And there is no telling when they might just swerve and change lanes.
Call me a cautious driver, but its very likely that I'll speed. I usually leave slightly earlier to account for any increase in journey time. So I usually don't have to rush. As a personal "Driving Philosophy". I make it a point never to speed (unless in an emergency) and I never beat the red lights (unless they turn red after passing through the junction at orange). Nevertheless, I have had more than my fair share of very close shaves in the past 6 months since obtaining my license. On one occasion I almost crashed my car, but that was like 2 days after I just passed getting my license and I was driving on a unfamiliar stretch of road with a sharp bend in a fast merging lane. Other than that, the two worst road users I've found are (1)Taxi Drivers. (2)Malaysian Drivers (3) Foreign Drivers.
Let's start with motorcyclists from malaysia. Easily recognisable since their license plates carry some strange permutation of characters. And most of the time, its usually a old dinghy bike with little or no horsepower. And how they weave all the way to the front of traffic when the lights are red. Only to move off very slowly (with little power and acceleration) when the lights go green. Its like road hogging to a certain degree. Nevermind that they attempt to keep in-between traffic lanes. Most of the time, their path is so much of a sinusoidal curve, that its simply wiser to change to another lane just to overtake them. Sometimes, you never know that they are in your blind spot until you attempt to make a turn and hear a loud screeching honk. Or end up knocking them down.
There was once, I was about to make a left turn into Victoria Street. I checked my rear-view mirror as well as my left side-view mirror as well as blind spot. Clear. So I proceeded to make my turn only to be surprised by a loud honk from a motorbike's horn. I slowed down to see this scooter speed by me so small, ridden by a dwarf that basically, the height of the whole contraption was even lower than the height of the lowest part of the glass of a car window. Turn a little more and I would have knocked that person down anyway. Yet again, is it a little bit strange to proceed STRAIGHT in a TURNING LANE. What more from the extreme left side of the road?
I had another bad experience when I was driving along Holland Road, turning into Holland Avenue (The road opposite Holland Village). There was heavy construction going on due to the Holland Village MRT station of the Circle Line. And basically all the cars in front of me slowed down, to merge from a two-lane turning lane that was now essentially a one lane street. And as I would have it, the car behind mine starting honking furiously at me. I thought that I was doing something wrong. Later as I cleared the turn, the driver overtook me and gave me "that look". I looked at the registration plate and guess what? It was a Malaysian Driver!
Malaysia is a lawless society. Even the traffic police that stop your car ask whether you want to "settle here, or settle at police station". 10 Ringgit usually being sufficient. If a Malaysian car is driving at 180 km/h and a Singapore car is doing 120 Km/h on the same stretch of road on the North-South Highway. You can bet on your last dollar than the Malaysian Police will stop the singaporean car. Hearing the non-stop spate of Singapore cars stolen in Malaysia only compound this problem. If you can have it, either drive a dirt cheap or rented car to Malaysia. If not, just take the bus. I've had more than my fair share of uncourteous Malaysian motorists. Especially on the stretch that is off Tekka Market and Little India. Driving on these stretches of road is usually plain horrible when I have a Malaysian car in front of mine.
The other category of drivers that I do my best to steer clear from are those of foreign nationals. Basically diplomatic cars, if not, cars driven by foreigners. Most diplomatic cars are unique in the sense that they can have tinted windows and even left hand drive models in Singapore. I've seen a left-hand drive Porsche with a number plate ending in "CD" along a stretch off Bugis. Basically, if a number plate ends with a "CD", it is a diplomatic car. Knock it and you're on your own. You can't claim insurance from "the other party" (due to diplomatic immunity). And you probably don't want to mess around with all these embassy staff and their security personel, would you? I can only imagine an Ah Beng in his Subaru WRX hitting (let's say) The Japanese Ambassador's Car. Won't even get a cent and you have to compensate the embassy officials as well.
I actually amost crashed my car last week. Making this turn off the junction of Serene Center into Bukit Timah Road. Basically on that very unique stretch of road. Traffic is usually very heavy. And cars attempting to make that right turn only get a very short span of time to do so. I've seen the lights go green. Three cars make that right turn and the lights turn red. I turned at amber. The car behind me, a brand new BMW (SFQ!) turned at red. In front of me was a car driven by a foreigner (I knew this after the incident, when I caught up with the car to "have a look at the driver's face"). The car in front of me basically made the sharp right turn at the junction and was out of my sight. As I turned at amber, it is only natural that I would step on the gas to "go a little bit faster".
As providence would have it. For some weird reason or other. The car in front of me had jammed his brakes and performed an emmergency stop whilst out of my sight (before I had made the turn). I turned quickly to see this car just "stuck" in the middle of the junction, unable to anticipate this as "who the hell jams brake in the middle of a crowded junction when traffic is in their favor". I almost hit the car, so I slammed on the brakes. I can almost feel the ABS start to kick in already as the car skidded a little bit (That's how hard I jammed the brakes!). I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw the BMW behind me doing his high-speed turn. Let's not forget he turned at red and I had jammed my brakes in the driver's blind spot too.
Thank God there was no accident. But I could see from my mirror that the driver of the BMW slammed so hard on his brakes, I could see the car chassis dip down and rebound every so significantly. Not good. And all this while, for some weird reason or other, the drive in front of me had yet to move off still! There was no incoming traffic. All the traffic in that particular junction stops for right turning vehicles and traffic only moves in one way. Plus, traffic was light. So I too, was puzzled as to why this driver in front of me had stopped in a very uncomfortable location. I was THIS close to his car that I can his toyota logo clearly reflected in my car bonnet.
Funny thing was that after this driver moved off. The BMW driver behind me overtook me, when in front of this car and jammed his brakes too! Probably to spite the driver. Not courteous, not a good sign of our driving culture in Singapore. But I guess that if I were in that BMW, I would do the same too! That's how I managed to have a look at the drive since I was in the lane opposite. Moral of the story: Never assume! And please please please be extra careful! Defensive driving is a must in Singapore. As is complete and total practical mastery of The Art Of Parrallel Parking.
Finally, I've come to the category. While Singapore roads are generally "safe". I have to admit that it is pretty much "Zero-Courtesy" as well. Kiasuism rears its ugly head on our roads every so often on a daily basis. Maybe, its just a reflection of civil society. That we have to be competitive towards each other all the way from PSLE till finding a Parking Lot in Orchard Road on a saturday (Another Nightmare). After all, we ARE "the World's 2nd most competitive Economy...". And this is most evidently expressed by the greatest road users of all. The TAXI DRIVERS...
With not hue of biasedness, someone once joked to me that "In Singapore, there are three kinds of Drivers". - "A Man Driver". "A Woman Driver". And "A Taxi Driver". Oh my goodness, I think it is so true as well. They swerve in and out of traffic like a sewing needle. Stop for passengers abruptly. Change lanes without signalling. Else if they do change lanes while signalling, expect to see just one blink of the yellow light. They cut into one's lane violenty. Perhaps when your distance to the car in front of you is one taxi length and 5cm, they can do it do. They almost never give way. If I intend to change lane and I see a taxi either on my left or right side, depending on which side I'd like to filter into. I usually cancel my signal and change elsewhere should I see a taxi driver in the mirror. Be especially careful when you are driving in the extreme left lane with a taxi driver in front. You never know when it will stop abruptly for the passenger that appear like ghosts out of nowhere. And taxis themselve vanish like ghosts come 11.40p.m every night. One of the greatest uniquely singaporean phenomena we have in the world. I can't believe that a large percentage of taxis are so often changing shift when its coming towards midnight.
Once, I was driving to base. About a month ago. Traffic was smooth sailing and I had just passed and admired Barker. A little further down and it would be this road leading towards the KK Hospital. Suddenly the vehicle in front of mine jammed his brakes suddenly. As I usually never tailgate and ensure that I have sufficient road space from the car in front of me. I had no problems coming to a slow and gradual halt. Well well, I saw that a taxi driver had knocked down a motorcyclist. And I believe that the motorcyclist's head had rolled off somewhere else. Oh well. In Singapore it is not recommended that you ride a motorbike. Unless you are willing to brave the danger and smog on a daily basis. Remember, in a car. The vehicle covers the driver. But in the case of a bike, you cover the vehicle! And it is oft lamented by my driving instructor (who used to teach motorbike licenses) that "The population of riders in Singapore are more or less the same."
He continued to explain to me that most of the time, let's say 90 or so riders go for the test and about 20 or so pass. Usually it ends up about a month or two down the road when 10% of those who passed the test mambos. "So, its like, for those that pass, there are a few more than die". I've always wanted to ride a motorbike, much in preference to a car. Then again, due to understandable concerns as well as common sense reasoning, I guess its safer to stick with a car in Singapore. Even if it is more expensive. But one's life is precious. I have had so many bad experiences with taxi drivers on the roads, that I don't even know which one to list. At the same time, for the incident that more or less inspired this part of my post. I would say that it was just plain 2 days ago that once again, I had a close shave with a taxi driver.
I'm not an advocate to reckless driving. Slow, steady, Secure and Sure is always better than being fast and reckless. I will only speed in exceptional circumstances and if necessary, beat the red light if I can do it. Usually in such cases, it would be like rushing a friend to the hospital (Don't tell me to call an Ambulance when time will be wasted! Time is precious in any medical emergency!). I get particularly fired up whenever I see someone in dire need of medical attention. To me, if such a situation arises, then basically for me, its a no-holds-barred form of driving. Once in a blue moon. One has to transform into the ideal of "The Reckless Taxi Driver" just so you can save precious minutes to send a friend to the hospital's A & E department. My life-changing encounter being when my dad rushed me to hospital exactly a year ago when I was almost blinded in a very serious eye accident. People laugh at my close shave today. But basically the eye-specialist's words still haunt me.
"2mm more and you'll will have lost your sight completely" What is 2mm? Its like the space encompassed by two fullstops..
I was driving a severely ill friend, in dire need of medical assistance to the nearest medical institution just two days back. Yeah, during Chinese New Year. So you can expect a great deal of doctors to be off duty and the queues to be even longer. Even more, the medical fees and costs on public holidays become substantially inflated. To add to the burden, it is ironic that when it is a time for all the doctors to be on off, it is the very time where there is always an overflow of needy patients as well as sick people. As I drove my friend through the night like I never drove before, I found it very difficult to balance my "driving philosophy" of being safe while feeling an ever increasing need to speed and rush. My friend was so ill, he couldn't even stand. Just like a dead log running with a 42 degrees fever.
And I drove. Being late at night, the streets were mainly empty. BUT! Populated by plenty of taxi drivers. Whever I drove, it was ironic that there was either a taxi driver going so slow as to hog the lane. Or tailgating me even when I'm going very fast. I just don't understand these drivers. Worst are those idiots who insist on cutting into your lane when you have just about "this much" space from the car in front - its like a form of reverse psychology, "No one wants to have their car knocked and so they'll give way if one cuts in violently enough". Besides, if I knock the taxi driver in front of me, I'll not only be liable. What more about my P-Plate license (Think: REVOKED) and I'll have to compensate these bastard cabby drivers a claim for "lost wages" (Then again, maybe some of them do intentionally cause accidents to claim for lost wages? Think!).
So I drove like a taxi driver that night. No chance. I won't even give way. I cut lanes violenty, like I never changed lanes before in my life. Don't signal! Just change lanes! And when you're changing lanes, go from extreme left to extreme right of a 4 lane road all in one fell swop! Cut out of stationary traffic even though the car that's approaching is just 2 meters behind me. I did it all. And earned lots of wrath of these drivers who honked me non stop. There was this particularly "memorable" part where I just cut out of the lane into another lane where the taxi was just barely a meter behind me. As I cut in from stationary position, I was going about 30 km/h and the incumbent? 80 km/h. The taxi driver horned at me for like what felt like 10 seconds. Even my severely ill friend arouse and joked that, "If he knocks you, he'll pay for everything". Oh Yeah! I think its good to give these cabbies a taste of their own medicine once in a while. However, remember, I don't drive like this at all. It is not me. Only in emergencies. Other than that, I'll be the guy that goes 60 km/h on that danger bend of Holland Road leading into Napier Road while I see taxis speeding by meat 80 or 90. These cabbies must be really good with their "first gear second gear". Being able to overtake automatic cars from stationary position in a traffic light.
Yet I have to admit. It is not wise to drive as such. Its dangerous and a hazard to one's health. And it won't be nice if the guy sending the sick friend to hospital has to do his own version of a check in. Complete with plaster-of-paris and a neck brace to boot. So do drive safely in Singapore, as far as possible. In a land, where giving way to others on the street is almost akin to "losing face". Its better to "lose face" over some silly traditional chinese value to an unseen driver rather than to be invoved in a major bust up. So this ends the part on Driving. I'll continue the part on Dating as a nonsensical, light hearted and contradictory "Valentine's Day Special" very the soon. But for now...My friend is good and sound, resting well while he suffers the ignomity of being in a physically miserable state. And whatever it is. My philosophical conclusion would be. "If there's a taxi driver in front of you. Better be extra-careful" with all these skillful, but utterly demoralising drivers on the road.
Completed 12th Febuary 10.00p.m
Of Driving and Dating (Part II)
I don't really know how to kick start this post right now. My mind is in a blur and all the stuff that I've thought through before blogging this down has somehow encountered into a severe mind block. Nevertheless, I'll do what I can to dig out the hapharzardly arranged theorems associated with V-Day in my mind for as much as it comes back in my personal recollection.
There was a time on a particular thursday morning, after recess. And as I sat in the Void Deck and saw classes, cliches and groups of people start to get up and head off for the next destination after recess. I was thinking to myself, "why bother to go to Daniel Khor's lecture and waste one hour and fifty minutes of my life there stoning and doing nothing". Seriously, Daniel Khor's lectures are the greatest cure for any insomiac. I'm sorry to say that his lectures really cannot make it! Thus, Professor Wang and I made a hasty "split-second" decision to skip the lecture to do what most ACJC guys do best - Slacking In The Void Deck. After awhile, Professor Wang got bored and decided to head off to the library so cold that it can it is used to keep Old Ham fresh.
And I ended up sitting with a bunch of people from the Arts Faculty. Mostly ACS Boys who had cleared their Mid-Year chinese exams with perfectly acceptable grades of D7 and C6. Now since it was chinese class. It was "free period" for most of them. Don't we all love Free Periods? And somehow, the discussion ended up to be more of an experience of sharing experiences, some personal conclusion as well as random musings of the warped kind. It is good to talk to people in the Arts Faculty, simply for the fact that most of them express themselves very well and have this ability to think more "out of the box". Contrast this with your average Science Student rotting away in LT6 with a lecturer proclaiming a barely intelligible version of "London Volleyball". But that's another story.
A good friend of mine in the Arts Faculty kicked of this particular discussion, which I remember very well, no thanks to his opening statement. Which consisted of mathematical terminology. Coming from an Arts Student. That's particulary interesting. Or maybe it isn't, its just me... This good friend of mine went on the proclaim:
"I think when we look at a girl's beauty. We've got to sum up both her inner as well as outer beauty, to get a good idea of appreciation what her overal beauty is like".
I did not really understand that statement at first. Then it struck me. And I realised that even though we talk about inner beauty, personality, character. Things basically unseen, hidden to the eye of the beholder when it comes to this whole notion of "love". At the end of the day, I believe that external looks also plays quite a big part. Especially so in a superficial society. And even more so in the artificiality of the environment that was in The Most Nonsense College In The Country. At the same time, I realised that coming from this angle, basically it also teaches us to look deeper and delve further into the character of a person, before we should come to making our own rational judgements about it. At the end of the day, even though I know that "we shouldn't go round judging people" and that Luke 6:41-42 is particularly apt in such cases. At the end the day, isn't it just plain human nature to judge on sight? As much as we try to avoid it, I guess its not possible to avoid it all the time. What more when our emotions get in the way of our attempt of "level-headed thinking".
Maybe it is just me. My personality tends to slant more to the side of pessimism as well as negativity. It shows in most of my pictures - moody, dark and perhaps a hint of unhappiness. Even for my happier pictures, there almost always seems to be a hint of regret in them for some strange reason or other. And even when I continue to extract a few part of the ensuing conversation. Bear in mind that I tend to slant towards the more negative side. So use your own positive examples to back up the opposing viewpoints and so on and so forth. Balance is key an essential in certain particular topics. I know I'm just dragging this post, but my mind can't seem to finalise its thought even on this issue...
I've seen many friends in my life get in and then out and in and out of relationships. Mostly unhappy ones. Somehow, it all starts the same way. And there is a sort of "Golden Era" where both sides are really happy with each other. Then after the excitement dies down, and time has passed by. Usually distrust and unhappiness or else a circumstance of life comes into play (Usually National Service!) and before I know it, they've split. Bitterly. Both sides blaming each other for all the unhappiness caused. Even as I try to rationalise what happens I often wonder how two people who for a while once purported to "love each other forever" can end up in permanent avoidance of eye-contact for as long as life everlasting. And friends get affected too. You can't talk about the "ex-boyfriend" let you stir up a hornet's nest. And basically, everything just plain sucks. It works both ways. Girls who don't appreciate how extra-mile going their then current boyfriends are as well as girls who stick by useless bums of the definition of a guy for all sorts of self-justifiable reasons. It is so confusing sometimes one should call for the psychologist...
Let's take a look at a more abstract example: Camera Lenses. Most camera lenses don't perform that well at their wide open apertures. That is, the f-stop that is for the smallest number and allows for the entry of the maximum amount of light. It is common advice that most photographers are familiar with - that for best image quality, one has to 'Stop-Down' the lens from say its wide open aperture of f/4 to maybe f/5.6 or f/8 (just note the increase in the decimal). This will ensure optimum sharpenss as well as contrast and color rendition of the scene captured. And believe me it really is true. Perhaps the exception being those professional series lenses that start off with a price tag of three k's that are really sharp, contrasty and provide excellent image quality wide open. Examples are the Canon L-series Zoom Lenses as well as the Nikkor AF-S ED IF series of lenses. These are distinguished either by their hallmark of a bright red stripe or else a gold one. And they all cost a great deal of money.
All the big mama and papa bread lenses that you see at sporting events fall into either category. Although there's been so many white lenses with thick red stripes, more obvious than the black nikkors and their thick gold stripes. These lenses cause a huge amount of money (at least 8 thousand dollars 2nd hand) but they are absolutely sharp, contrasty and capture the scene as perfectly as possible with their apertures wide open. If let say we apply such a thinking logic to our expectations. Both ways of an ideal guy or an ideal girl. Wouldn't it be wiser to just "stop down" one's expectations? I believe that one has to often taper expectations with practicalities of reality. At other times, haven't you heard the oft said quote that "one should down your expectations, that you might not be dissapointed?". Perhaps not in all situations should be apply such a logic. At the same time, if it is for the long term benefit as well as long-lasting happiness of a couple. Then by all means. If it is a means to an end.
Unless of course, one can upkeep the look, the personality, as well achieve the highly desirable status to be coveted for the affections by a large number of people. Then by all means. Shoot wide open! Take your chances! Keep your expectations high and up by "The Theory of Economics Supply And Demand". Yet other than that I've seen too much of all this superficial stuff in my short 20 years that I am already so sick and tired of it. I wonder if its just a gigantic mismatch of expectations and the corresponding culture-shock of reality. Or is it that instristic character values like tolerance, patience, forgiveness, being understanding and maybe perhaps. Just being a little more easy-going. There's not much a need to keep toeing the line so much, is there?
I notice that however, there is often this one big tussle up over the issue of "trust" between most couples that I know. Some guys resort to giving their girlfriends all sorts of "containment boundary rules" like "Don't go out with other guys alone". And would you agree that forbidden fruit tastes sweeter sometimes? Else it would another guilt trip session - "Who is that guy I saw you with just now..." (Oh I'm sure you can think of hundreds of such examples). Or maybe we reverse the polarity and the girl will ask, "Whose that girl I heard you talking on the phone just now?". Maybe this is still pretty immature. But when long-time married adults wander into the realm of "Are you sure you are working late or having an affair?". Then one might be able to see that such small minute things... extrapolate from seeds to strangler figs of distrust, dissent and disharmony. Just a quick thought. Wouldn't it be so ideal as to have someone you could trust 100%. As in, really simply - just 100%? I understand that it is indeed difficult to strike up a balance between possessiveness and roaming butterfly syndrome. Yet I am no longer "qualified" or "experienced" in this region to blog any further about such. I allow your own thoughts to carry you off in this direction for a while.
While it will be Valentine's Day tomorrow as I write this. I know that many couples will likely have an early celebration of their own tonight - Being a lazy Sunday on a weekend after Chinese New Year. yet again, when I am far out at sea tomorrow, I can just imagine the significant increase in the number of couples who will go out to mark the special day with a walk by the beach in the cool evening. You can almost just picture the idealism: Crashing waves on the sandy shores. Warmth of the evening sunset illuminating a golden glow. And feelings unseen, yet amplified many times over in a world of their own. Isn't It Romantic?
Well continuing our discussion at the Void Deck. Someone went on to add that Romance and Love are two entirely separate things. As in separate entities. Others preferred to conclude that it was like a venn diagram - Romance and Love intersected at some areas too. Each using arguments from "The Text" to substantiate their thoughts. Being a blur Science Student at that time, I could only listen to a barely intelligible harping on the discussions of "The Text". A particular someone later on tried to define love as "When you take away her looks, her beauty, her money and everything external and yet you can still love what you're left with". To which another countered "you take away looks, personality, what is left? Like a dead body like that!". Of course, to much laughter. I've always been a fan of the everlasting casual banter in the Void Deck. Its just fantastic. I got most of my miseducation here hearing others share their experiences.
Well, for a particular friend of mine, which have much respect for. He waited a very very long time for just one girl. A girl who never really appreciated him nor even bothered his gentle and slow advances (now now! let's not accuse him of being "too slow" ok?). I know he reads my blog, but never leaves comments on it. And owing to my own personal policy of no longer naming people. I guess I could say that there are not many guys like him out there. Who waited. And Waited. And Waited. All for a girl that most people would not immediately come to the conclusion as "pretty" or "above average" (Yes I'm judging here... but sigh... some objectivity can?). Only after a long time, did I realise what he was driving at all the time. It wasn't her looks, her brains or character of past that he fancied. It was her inner beauty that stoked his imagination.
Wow.
And it dawned upon me. "Why didn't I think of that earlier!" Mathematically expressed in vague terms:
Looks (A) + Inner Beauty (A) + Extras (A) = Dream Girl (AAA) ---- (1)
Dream Girl (AAA) = Looks (X) + Inner Beauty (Y) + Extras (Z) ---- (2)
(Mavis would have been so proud of me...)
Well, you don't need much logic in mathematics to rationalise that equation. Where X, Y and Z are undetermined variables. Complex numbers in a complex plane compounded by imaginary numbers in a Linear Algebra Matrix framework of a Vector Space consulting with a couple of Eigenvectors and Eigenvalues having much fun. No No, plane vectors, you are not invited into the equation! That is reserveds for the Wave-Particle Duality! R dot N equals a Constant Remember?
Ok, so you make your conclusions. But Y must be greater than A. Where A is literally stands for "Grade A". (Alwyn is going crazy!)
Somehow, I consider it to be a blessing to be able to avoid anyone until very late in the evening on Valentine's Day. You don't want to be caught like a particular Maths Tutor of mine, when asked "Sir! Whose your Valentine's Date Ah?!" could only give a weak meek and slick reply. "My Book... My Maths Textbook". Perhaps in much thought, I can use this particular friend's life example as a counter-example to proving ones sincerity by waiting. If the waiting game backfires. I guess that it will lead to "a whole host of psychological and neurological and emotional problems". Thankfully, which has not been seen in my friend when this girl he so waited so long for went out to get attached to another guy. "Its damn sad man..." We really ought to add A "Losers In Love Foundation" to the registry of Societies and Clubs. #LIL lives on!
Ok let me recommend a short song list of nice songs to listen to for the fateful day. I prefer the dry kind of jazz songs. So bear with me. At the same time, they are really very nice:
Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong - Our Love Is Here To Stay
Tony Bennett and k.d. Lang - Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Westlife - Let There Be Love
The Bee Gees - How Deep Is Your Love
Michael Buble - What A Wonderful World
Frank Sinatra - Somewhere Beyond The Sea
Nat King Cole - L.O.V.E
Robbie Williams - Have You Met Miss Jones?
And a little bit more outside the Jazz realm. For all those who can never appreciate dry sleepy jazz:
John Waite - Missing You
Earth Wind and Fire - September
Travis - Flowers In The Window
Faith Hill - Let Me Let Go
Gareth Gates - Say It Isn't So
Goo Goo Dolls - Think About Me
Damien Rice - Cannonball
Keane - Somewhere Only We Know
Jewel - This Way
The Calling - Breathing
Eric Clapton - You Look Wonderful Tonight
Mandy Moore - Only Hope
New Radicals - Someday We'll Know
DJ Sammy & Yanou feat. Do - Heaven (Slow Version)
and how could I forget?
-JAMELIA - SUPERSTAR!!!!
Chinese? Yes! Chinese Songs! And a few oldies as well:
Sun Yan Zi - Yu Jian
Liang Jing Ru - Ning Xia
Wang Xin Ling - Dang Ni
Zhou Jie Lun - An Jing (This is like - WOAH!!!!!!!!!!)
Paul Anka - Put Your Head On My Shoulder
Glenn Medeiros - Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You
Rick Price - Heaven Knows
Richard Marx and Donna Lewis - At the Beginning
Starship - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now
Regina Belle and Peabo Bryson - A Whole New World
Bryan Adams, Rod Steward and Sting - All For Love
Al Green - Let's Stay Together
And for all the jokers who think that Valentine's Day is the day to celebrate friendship. Check out the classic of Dionne Warwick with Stevie Wonder and Elton John in the song "That's What Friends are For". At least, this is where the slick marketing is really working. By convincing the masses that a day to mark love is also a day to mark friendships for all the singles out there. Talk about "market diversification". Anyway, these are just some of my personal favourite songs. I don't get tired of listening to them. Defnitely one of the nicest would actually be Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman on the Soundtrack to A Walk To Remember - "Someday We'll Know". You can almost feel the depth of emotion in the song. Its very sad. Highly applicable to a guy like me. Oh well, so in closing. Have a Happy Valentine's Day!
Completed - Febuary 13th 5.07 p.m
A Long, Abstract, Misguided and Disturbed Post
Depending on what time of the day it is, especially since I work odd hours due to shift work. Driving to and fro my base is usually quite a simple thing. I usually leave home very much earlier than most sinaporeans on the weekday mornings. While most people are having their customary cuppa of coffee in the morning, there I am cruising down Orchard Road en route to duty. Likewise, its more or less the same when I return from a day shift.
Night shift is slightly less manageable, especially when I leave my house during the peak hour time when most people are making their way home. Its only on certain stretches of road that are badly clogged up. And most of the time, its free flowing traffic for me, while I can see that traffic has come to an absolute standstill in the opposite direction. Worst days are friday nights I tell you. The traffic jams are so bad that it is better to take public transport rather than to drive. Personally, besides these odd off-peak hours where I commute, I would say that driving in Singapore is one helluva very stressful activity indeed. And to be honest, I do not really enjoy it one bit at all.
I notice that most road users in Singapore tend to be on the more not-so-courteous side. Most of the time I usually encounter road hoggers in the right lane. If not, its tailgaters in the extreme right lane. And of course, the ever increasing number of motorist who almost never give way. Even when you've been signalling continuously for like 2 minutes. It is like, if I speed up, they speed up and when I slow down, they slow down too. Maybe its like a form of road bullying. And its obvious to everyone that I'm a "new" and hence "lousy" driver when I have a nice bright fluroscent P-Plate attached to the front and rear car windscreens. Notably, I find motorcyclists harder to overtake than normal cars. Simpley because it is rather difficult to estimate whether you have just enough road space to go alongside them in heavy traffic. And there is no telling when they might just swerve and change lanes.
Call me a cautious driver, but its very likely that I'll speed. I usually leave slightly earlier to account for any increase in journey time. So I usually don't have to rush. As a personal "Driving Philosophy". I make it a point never to speed (unless in an emergency) and I never beat the red lights (unless they turn red after passing through the junction at orange). Nevertheless, I have had more than my fair share of very close shaves in the past 6 months since obtaining my license. On one occasion I almost crashed my car, but that was like 2 days after I just passed getting my license and I was driving on a unfamiliar stretch of road with a sharp bend in a fast merging lane. Other than that, the two worst road users I've found are (1)Taxi Drivers. (2)Malaysian Drivers (3) Foreign Drivers.
Let's start with motorcyclists from malaysia. Easily recognisable since their license plates carry some strange permutation of characters. And most of the time, its usually a old dinghy bike with little or no horsepower. And how they weave all the way to the front of traffic when the lights are red. Only to move off very slowly (with little power and acceleration) when the lights go green. Its like road hogging to a certain degree. Nevermind that they attempt to keep in-between traffic lanes. Most of the time, their path is so much of a sinusoidal curve, that its simply wiser to change to another lane just to overtake them. Sometimes, you never know that they are in your blind spot until you attempt to make a turn and hear a loud screeching honk. Or end up knocking them down.
There was once, I was about to make a left turn into Victoria Street. I checked my rear-view mirror as well as my left side-view mirror as well as blind spot. Clear. So I proceeded to make my turn only to be surprised by a loud honk from a motorbike's horn. I slowed down to see this scooter speed by me so small, ridden by a dwarf that basically, the height of the whole contraption was even lower than the height of the lowest part of the glass of a car window. Turn a little more and I would have knocked that person down anyway. Yet again, is it a little bit strange to proceed STRAIGHT in a TURNING LANE. What more from the extreme left side of the road?
I had another bad experience when I was driving along Holland Road, turning into Holland Avenue (The road opposite Holland Village). There was heavy construction going on due to the Holland Village MRT station of the Circle Line. And basically all the cars in front of me slowed down, to merge from a two-lane turning lane that was now essentially a one lane street. And as I would have it, the car behind mine starting honking furiously at me. I thought that I was doing something wrong. Later as I cleared the turn, the driver overtook me and gave me "that look". I looked at the registration plate and guess what? It was a Malaysian Driver!
Malaysia is a lawless society. Even the traffic police that stop your car ask whether you want to "settle here, or settle at police station". 10 Ringgit usually being sufficient. If a Malaysian car is driving at 180 km/h and a Singapore car is doing 120 Km/h on the same stretch of road on the North-South Highway. You can bet on your last dollar than the Malaysian Police will stop the singaporean car. Hearing the non-stop spate of Singapore cars stolen in Malaysia only compound this problem. If you can have it, either drive a dirt cheap or rented car to Malaysia. If not, just take the bus. I've had more than my fair share of uncourteous Malaysian motorists. Especially on the stretch that is off Tekka Market and Little India. Driving on these stretches of road is usually plain horrible when I have a Malaysian car in front of mine.
The other category of drivers that I do my best to steer clear from are those of foreign nationals. Basically diplomatic cars, if not, cars driven by foreigners. Most diplomatic cars are unique in the sense that they can have tinted windows and even left hand drive models in Singapore. I've seen a left-hand drive Porsche with a number plate ending in "CD" along a stretch off Bugis. Basically, if a number plate ends with a "CD", it is a diplomatic car. Knock it and you're on your own. You can't claim insurance from "the other party" (due to diplomatic immunity). And you probably don't want to mess around with all these embassy staff and their security personel, would you? I can only imagine an Ah Beng in his Subaru WRX hitting (let's say) The Japanese Ambassador's Car. Won't even get a cent and you have to compensate the embassy officials as well.
I actually amost crashed my car last week. Making this turn off the junction of Serene Center into Bukit Timah Road. Basically on that very unique stretch of road. Traffic is usually very heavy. And cars attempting to make that right turn only get a very short span of time to do so. I've seen the lights go green. Three cars make that right turn and the lights turn red. I turned at amber. The car behind me, a brand new BMW (SFQ!) turned at red. In front of me was a car driven by a foreigner (I knew this after the incident, when I caught up with the car to "have a look at the driver's face"). The car in front of me basically made the sharp right turn at the junction and was out of my sight. As I turned at amber, it is only natural that I would step on the gas to "go a little bit faster".
As providence would have it. For some weird reason or other. The car in front of me had jammed his brakes and performed an emmergency stop whilst out of my sight (before I had made the turn). I turned quickly to see this car just "stuck" in the middle of the junction, unable to anticipate this as "who the hell jams brake in the middle of a crowded junction when traffic is in their favor". I almost hit the car, so I slammed on the brakes. I can almost feel the ABS start to kick in already as the car skidded a little bit (That's how hard I jammed the brakes!). I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw the BMW behind me doing his high-speed turn. Let's not forget he turned at red and I had jammed my brakes in the driver's blind spot too.
Thank God there was no accident. But I could see from my mirror that the driver of the BMW slammed so hard on his brakes, I could see the car chassis dip down and rebound every so significantly. Not good. And all this while, for some weird reason or other, the drive in front of me had yet to move off still! There was no incoming traffic. All the traffic in that particular junction stops for right turning vehicles and traffic only moves in one way. Plus, traffic was light. So I too, was puzzled as to why this driver in front of me had stopped in a very uncomfortable location. I was THIS close to his car that I can his toyota logo clearly reflected in my car bonnet.
Funny thing was that after this driver moved off. The BMW driver behind me overtook me, when in front of this car and jammed his brakes too! Probably to spite the driver. Not courteous, not a good sign of our driving culture in Singapore. But I guess that if I were in that BMW, I would do the same too! That's how I managed to have a look at the drive since I was in the lane opposite. Moral of the story: Never assume! And please please please be extra careful! Defensive driving is a must in Singapore. As is complete and total practical mastery of The Art Of Parrallel Parking.
Finally, I've come to the category. While Singapore roads are generally "safe". I have to admit that it is pretty much "Zero-Courtesy" as well. Kiasuism rears its ugly head on our roads every so often on a daily basis. Maybe, its just a reflection of civil society. That we have to be competitive towards each other all the way from PSLE till finding a Parking Lot in Orchard Road on a saturday (Another Nightmare). After all, we ARE "the World's 2nd most competitive Economy...". And this is most evidently expressed by the greatest road users of all. The TAXI DRIVERS...
With not hue of biasedness, someone once joked to me that "In Singapore, there are three kinds of Drivers". - "A Man Driver". "A Woman Driver". And "A Taxi Driver". Oh my goodness, I think it is so true as well. They swerve in and out of traffic like a sewing needle. Stop for passengers abruptly. Change lanes without signalling. Else if they do change lanes while signalling, expect to see just one blink of the yellow light. They cut into one's lane violenty. Perhaps when your distance to the car in front of you is one taxi length and 5cm, they can do it do. They almost never give way. If I intend to change lane and I see a taxi either on my left or right side, depending on which side I'd like to filter into. I usually cancel my signal and change elsewhere should I see a taxi driver in the mirror. Be especially careful when you are driving in the extreme left lane with a taxi driver in front. You never know when it will stop abruptly for the passenger that appear like ghosts out of nowhere. And taxis themselve vanish like ghosts come 11.40p.m every night. One of the greatest uniquely singaporean phenomena we have in the world. I can't believe that a large percentage of taxis are so often changing shift when its coming towards midnight.
Once, I was driving to base. About a month ago. Traffic was smooth sailing and I had just passed and admired Barker. A little further down and it would be this road leading towards the KK Hospital. Suddenly the vehicle in front of mine jammed his brakes suddenly. As I usually never tailgate and ensure that I have sufficient road space from the car in front of me. I had no problems coming to a slow and gradual halt. Well well, I saw that a taxi driver had knocked down a motorcyclist. And I believe that the motorcyclist's head had rolled off somewhere else. Oh well. In Singapore it is not recommended that you ride a motorbike. Unless you are willing to brave the danger and smog on a daily basis. Remember, in a car. The vehicle covers the driver. But in the case of a bike, you cover the vehicle! And it is oft lamented by my driving instructor (who used to teach motorbike licenses) that "The population of riders in Singapore are more or less the same."
He continued to explain to me that most of the time, let's say 90 or so riders go for the test and about 20 or so pass. Usually it ends up about a month or two down the road when 10% of those who passed the test mambos. "So, its like, for those that pass, there are a few more than die". I've always wanted to ride a motorbike, much in preference to a car. Then again, due to understandable concerns as well as common sense reasoning, I guess its safer to stick with a car in Singapore. Even if it is more expensive. But one's life is precious. I have had so many bad experiences with taxi drivers on the roads, that I don't even know which one to list. At the same time, for the incident that more or less inspired this part of my post. I would say that it was just plain 2 days ago that once again, I had a close shave with a taxi driver.
I'm not an advocate to reckless driving. Slow, steady, Secure and Sure is always better than being fast and reckless. I will only speed in exceptional circumstances and if necessary, beat the red light if I can do it. Usually in such cases, it would be like rushing a friend to the hospital (Don't tell me to call an Ambulance when time will be wasted! Time is precious in any medical emergency!). I get particularly fired up whenever I see someone in dire need of medical attention. To me, if such a situation arises, then basically for me, its a no-holds-barred form of driving. Once in a blue moon. One has to transform into the ideal of "The Reckless Taxi Driver" just so you can save precious minutes to send a friend to the hospital's A & E department. My life-changing encounter being when my dad rushed me to hospital exactly a year ago when I was almost blinded in a very serious eye accident. People laugh at my close shave today. But basically the eye-specialist's words still haunt me.
"2mm more and you'll will have lost your sight completely" What is 2mm? Its like the space encompassed by two fullstops..
I was driving a severely ill friend, in dire need of medical assistance to the nearest medical institution just two days back. Yeah, during Chinese New Year. So you can expect a great deal of doctors to be off duty and the queues to be even longer. Even more, the medical fees and costs on public holidays become substantially inflated. To add to the burden, it is ironic that when it is a time for all the doctors to be on off, it is the very time where there is always an overflow of needy patients as well as sick people. As I drove my friend through the night like I never drove before, I found it very difficult to balance my "driving philosophy" of being safe while feeling an ever increasing need to speed and rush. My friend was so ill, he couldn't even stand. Just like a dead log running with a 42 degrees fever.
And I drove. Being late at night, the streets were mainly empty. BUT! Populated by plenty of taxi drivers. Whever I drove, it was ironic that there was either a taxi driver going so slow as to hog the lane. Or tailgating me even when I'm going very fast. I just don't understand these drivers. Worst are those idiots who insist on cutting into your lane when you have just about "this much" space from the car in front - its like a form of reverse psychology, "No one wants to have their car knocked and so they'll give way if one cuts in violently enough". Besides, if I knock the taxi driver in front of me, I'll not only be liable. What more about my P-Plate license (Think: REVOKED) and I'll have to compensate these bastard cabby drivers a claim for "lost wages" (Then again, maybe some of them do intentionally cause accidents to claim for lost wages? Think!).
So I drove like a taxi driver that night. No chance. I won't even give way. I cut lanes violenty, like I never changed lanes before in my life. Don't signal! Just change lanes! And when you're changing lanes, go from extreme left to extreme right of a 4 lane road all in one fell swop! Cut out of stationary traffic even though the car that's approaching is just 2 meters behind me. I did it all. And earned lots of wrath of these drivers who honked me non stop. There was this particularly "memorable" part where I just cut out of the lane into another lane where the taxi was just barely a meter behind me. As I cut in from stationary position, I was going about 30 km/h and the incumbent? 80 km/h. The taxi driver horned at me for like what felt like 10 seconds. Even my severely ill friend arouse and joked that, "If he knocks you, he'll pay for everything". Oh Yeah! I think its good to give these cabbies a taste of their own medicine once in a while. However, remember, I don't drive like this at all. It is not me. Only in emergencies. Other than that, I'll be the guy that goes 60 km/h on that danger bend of Holland Road leading into Napier Road while I see taxis speeding by meat 80 or 90. These cabbies must be really good with their "first gear second gear". Being able to overtake automatic cars from stationary position in a traffic light.
Yet I have to admit. It is not wise to drive as such. Its dangerous and a hazard to one's health. And it won't be nice if the guy sending the sick friend to hospital has to do his own version of a check in. Complete with plaster-of-paris and a neck brace to boot. So do drive safely in Singapore, as far as possible. In a land, where giving way to others on the street is almost akin to "losing face". Its better to "lose face" over some silly traditional chinese value to an unseen driver rather than to be invoved in a major bust up. So this ends the part on Driving. I'll continue the part on Dating as a nonsensical, light hearted and contradictory "Valentine's Day Special" very the soon. But for now...My friend is good and sound, resting well while he suffers the ignomity of being in a physically miserable state. And whatever it is. My philosophical conclusion would be. "If there's a taxi driver in front of you. Better be extra-careful" with all these skillful, but utterly demoralising drivers on the road.
Completed 12th Febuary 10.00p.m
Of Driving and Dating (Part II)
I don't really know how to kick start this post right now. My mind is in a blur and all the stuff that I've thought through before blogging this down has somehow encountered into a severe mind block. Nevertheless, I'll do what I can to dig out the hapharzardly arranged theorems associated with V-Day in my mind for as much as it comes back in my personal recollection.
There was a time on a particular thursday morning, after recess. And as I sat in the Void Deck and saw classes, cliches and groups of people start to get up and head off for the next destination after recess. I was thinking to myself, "why bother to go to Daniel Khor's lecture and waste one hour and fifty minutes of my life there stoning and doing nothing". Seriously, Daniel Khor's lectures are the greatest cure for any insomiac. I'm sorry to say that his lectures really cannot make it! Thus, Professor Wang and I made a hasty "split-second" decision to skip the lecture to do what most ACJC guys do best - Slacking In The Void Deck. After awhile, Professor Wang got bored and decided to head off to the library so cold that it can it is used to keep Old Ham fresh.
And I ended up sitting with a bunch of people from the Arts Faculty. Mostly ACS Boys who had cleared their Mid-Year chinese exams with perfectly acceptable grades of D7 and C6. Now since it was chinese class. It was "free period" for most of them. Don't we all love Free Periods? And somehow, the discussion ended up to be more of an experience of sharing experiences, some personal conclusion as well as random musings of the warped kind. It is good to talk to people in the Arts Faculty, simply for the fact that most of them express themselves very well and have this ability to think more "out of the box". Contrast this with your average Science Student rotting away in LT6 with a lecturer proclaiming a barely intelligible version of "London Volleyball". But that's another story.
A good friend of mine in the Arts Faculty kicked of this particular discussion, which I remember very well, no thanks to his opening statement. Which consisted of mathematical terminology. Coming from an Arts Student. That's particulary interesting. Or maybe it isn't, its just me... This good friend of mine went on the proclaim:
"I think when we look at a girl's beauty. We've got to sum up both her inner as well as outer beauty, to get a good idea of appreciation what her overal beauty is like".
I did not really understand that statement at first. Then it struck me. And I realised that even though we talk about inner beauty, personality, character. Things basically unseen, hidden to the eye of the beholder when it comes to this whole notion of "love". At the end of the day, I believe that external looks also plays quite a big part. Especially so in a superficial society. And even more so in the artificiality of the environment that was in The Most Nonsense College In The Country. At the same time, I realised that coming from this angle, basically it also teaches us to look deeper and delve further into the character of a person, before we should come to making our own rational judgements about it. At the end of the day, even though I know that "we shouldn't go round judging people" and that Luke 6:41-42 is particularly apt in such cases. At the end the day, isn't it just plain human nature to judge on sight? As much as we try to avoid it, I guess its not possible to avoid it all the time. What more when our emotions get in the way of our attempt of "level-headed thinking".
Maybe it is just me. My personality tends to slant more to the side of pessimism as well as negativity. It shows in most of my pictures - moody, dark and perhaps a hint of unhappiness. Even for my happier pictures, there almost always seems to be a hint of regret in them for some strange reason or other. And even when I continue to extract a few part of the ensuing conversation. Bear in mind that I tend to slant towards the more negative side. So use your own positive examples to back up the opposing viewpoints and so on and so forth. Balance is key an essential in certain particular topics. I know I'm just dragging this post, but my mind can't seem to finalise its thought even on this issue...
I've seen many friends in my life get in and then out and in and out of relationships. Mostly unhappy ones. Somehow, it all starts the same way. And there is a sort of "Golden Era" where both sides are really happy with each other. Then after the excitement dies down, and time has passed by. Usually distrust and unhappiness or else a circumstance of life comes into play (Usually National Service!) and before I know it, they've split. Bitterly. Both sides blaming each other for all the unhappiness caused. Even as I try to rationalise what happens I often wonder how two people who for a while once purported to "love each other forever" can end up in permanent avoidance of eye-contact for as long as life everlasting. And friends get affected too. You can't talk about the "ex-boyfriend" let you stir up a hornet's nest. And basically, everything just plain sucks. It works both ways. Girls who don't appreciate how extra-mile going their then current boyfriends are as well as girls who stick by useless bums of the definition of a guy for all sorts of self-justifiable reasons. It is so confusing sometimes one should call for the psychologist...
Let's take a look at a more abstract example: Camera Lenses. Most camera lenses don't perform that well at their wide open apertures. That is, the f-stop that is for the smallest number and allows for the entry of the maximum amount of light. It is common advice that most photographers are familiar with - that for best image quality, one has to 'Stop-Down' the lens from say its wide open aperture of f/4 to maybe f/5.6 or f/8 (just note the increase in the decimal). This will ensure optimum sharpenss as well as contrast and color rendition of the scene captured. And believe me it really is true. Perhaps the exception being those professional series lenses that start off with a price tag of three k's that are really sharp, contrasty and provide excellent image quality wide open. Examples are the Canon L-series Zoom Lenses as well as the Nikkor AF-S ED IF series of lenses. These are distinguished either by their hallmark of a bright red stripe or else a gold one. And they all cost a great deal of money.
All the big mama and papa bread lenses that you see at sporting events fall into either category. Although there's been so many white lenses with thick red stripes, more obvious than the black nikkors and their thick gold stripes. These lenses cause a huge amount of money (at least 8 thousand dollars 2nd hand) but they are absolutely sharp, contrasty and capture the scene as perfectly as possible with their apertures wide open. If let say we apply such a thinking logic to our expectations. Both ways of an ideal guy or an ideal girl. Wouldn't it be wiser to just "stop down" one's expectations? I believe that one has to often taper expectations with practicalities of reality. At other times, haven't you heard the oft said quote that "one should down your expectations, that you might not be dissapointed?". Perhaps not in all situations should be apply such a logic. At the same time, if it is for the long term benefit as well as long-lasting happiness of a couple. Then by all means. If it is a means to an end.
Unless of course, one can upkeep the look, the personality, as well achieve the highly desirable status to be coveted for the affections by a large number of people. Then by all means. Shoot wide open! Take your chances! Keep your expectations high and up by "The Theory of Economics Supply And Demand". Yet other than that I've seen too much of all this superficial stuff in my short 20 years that I am already so sick and tired of it. I wonder if its just a gigantic mismatch of expectations and the corresponding culture-shock of reality. Or is it that instristic character values like tolerance, patience, forgiveness, being understanding and maybe perhaps. Just being a little more easy-going. There's not much a need to keep toeing the line so much, is there?
I notice that however, there is often this one big tussle up over the issue of "trust" between most couples that I know. Some guys resort to giving their girlfriends all sorts of "containment boundary rules" like "Don't go out with other guys alone". And would you agree that forbidden fruit tastes sweeter sometimes? Else it would another guilt trip session - "Who is that guy I saw you with just now..." (Oh I'm sure you can think of hundreds of such examples). Or maybe we reverse the polarity and the girl will ask, "Whose that girl I heard you talking on the phone just now?". Maybe this is still pretty immature. But when long-time married adults wander into the realm of "Are you sure you are working late or having an affair?". Then one might be able to see that such small minute things... extrapolate from seeds to strangler figs of distrust, dissent and disharmony. Just a quick thought. Wouldn't it be so ideal as to have someone you could trust 100%. As in, really simply - just 100%? I understand that it is indeed difficult to strike up a balance between possessiveness and roaming butterfly syndrome. Yet I am no longer "qualified" or "experienced" in this region to blog any further about such. I allow your own thoughts to carry you off in this direction for a while.
While it will be Valentine's Day tomorrow as I write this. I know that many couples will likely have an early celebration of their own tonight - Being a lazy Sunday on a weekend after Chinese New Year. yet again, when I am far out at sea tomorrow, I can just imagine the significant increase in the number of couples who will go out to mark the special day with a walk by the beach in the cool evening. You can almost just picture the idealism: Crashing waves on the sandy shores. Warmth of the evening sunset illuminating a golden glow. And feelings unseen, yet amplified many times over in a world of their own. Isn't It Romantic?
Well continuing our discussion at the Void Deck. Someone went on to add that Romance and Love are two entirely separate things. As in separate entities. Others preferred to conclude that it was like a venn diagram - Romance and Love intersected at some areas too. Each using arguments from "The Text" to substantiate their thoughts. Being a blur Science Student at that time, I could only listen to a barely intelligible harping on the discussions of "The Text". A particular someone later on tried to define love as "When you take away her looks, her beauty, her money and everything external and yet you can still love what you're left with". To which another countered "you take away looks, personality, what is left? Like a dead body like that!". Of course, to much laughter. I've always been a fan of the everlasting casual banter in the Void Deck. Its just fantastic. I got most of my miseducation here hearing others share their experiences.
Well, for a particular friend of mine, which have much respect for. He waited a very very long time for just one girl. A girl who never really appreciated him nor even bothered his gentle and slow advances (now now! let's not accuse him of being "too slow" ok?). I know he reads my blog, but never leaves comments on it. And owing to my own personal policy of no longer naming people. I guess I could say that there are not many guys like him out there. Who waited. And Waited. And Waited. All for a girl that most people would not immediately come to the conclusion as "pretty" or "above average" (Yes I'm judging here... but sigh... some objectivity can?). Only after a long time, did I realise what he was driving at all the time. It wasn't her looks, her brains or character of past that he fancied. It was her inner beauty that stoked his imagination.
Wow.
And it dawned upon me. "Why didn't I think of that earlier!" Mathematically expressed in vague terms:
Looks (A) + Inner Beauty (A) + Extras (A) = Dream Girl (AAA) ---- (1)
Dream Girl (AAA) = Looks (X) + Inner Beauty (Y) + Extras (Z) ---- (2)
(Mavis would have been so proud of me...)
Well, you don't need much logic in mathematics to rationalise that equation. Where X, Y and Z are undetermined variables. Complex numbers in a complex plane compounded by imaginary numbers in a Linear Algebra Matrix framework of a Vector Space consulting with a couple of Eigenvectors and Eigenvalues having much fun. No No, plane vectors, you are not invited into the equation! That is reserveds for the Wave-Particle Duality! R dot N equals a Constant Remember?
Ok, so you make your conclusions. But Y must be greater than A. Where A is literally stands for "Grade A". (Alwyn is going crazy!)
Somehow, I consider it to be a blessing to be able to avoid anyone until very late in the evening on Valentine's Day. You don't want to be caught like a particular Maths Tutor of mine, when asked "Sir! Whose your Valentine's Date Ah?!" could only give a weak meek and slick reply. "My Book... My Maths Textbook". Perhaps in much thought, I can use this particular friend's life example as a counter-example to proving ones sincerity by waiting. If the waiting game backfires. I guess that it will lead to "a whole host of psychological and neurological and emotional problems". Thankfully, which has not been seen in my friend when this girl he so waited so long for went out to get attached to another guy. "Its damn sad man..." We really ought to add A "Losers In Love Foundation" to the registry of Societies and Clubs. #LIL lives on!
Ok let me recommend a short song list of nice songs to listen to for the fateful day. I prefer the dry kind of jazz songs. So bear with me. At the same time, they are really very nice:
Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong - Our Love Is Here To Stay
Tony Bennett and k.d. Lang - Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Westlife - Let There Be Love
The Bee Gees - How Deep Is Your Love
Michael Buble - What A Wonderful World
Frank Sinatra - Somewhere Beyond The Sea
Nat King Cole - L.O.V.E
Robbie Williams - Have You Met Miss Jones?
And a little bit more outside the Jazz realm. For all those who can never appreciate dry sleepy jazz:
John Waite - Missing You
Earth Wind and Fire - September
Travis - Flowers In The Window
Faith Hill - Let Me Let Go
Gareth Gates - Say It Isn't So
Goo Goo Dolls - Think About Me
Damien Rice - Cannonball
Keane - Somewhere Only We Know
Jewel - This Way
The Calling - Breathing
Eric Clapton - You Look Wonderful Tonight
Mandy Moore - Only Hope
New Radicals - Someday We'll Know
DJ Sammy & Yanou feat. Do - Heaven (Slow Version)
and how could I forget?
-JAMELIA - SUPERSTAR!!!!
Chinese? Yes! Chinese Songs! And a few oldies as well:
Sun Yan Zi - Yu Jian
Liang Jing Ru - Ning Xia
Wang Xin Ling - Dang Ni
Zhou Jie Lun - An Jing (This is like - WOAH!!!!!!!!!!)
Paul Anka - Put Your Head On My Shoulder
Glenn Medeiros - Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You
Rick Price - Heaven Knows
Richard Marx and Donna Lewis - At the Beginning
Starship - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now
Regina Belle and Peabo Bryson - A Whole New World
Bryan Adams, Rod Steward and Sting - All For Love
Al Green - Let's Stay Together
And for all the jokers who think that Valentine's Day is the day to celebrate friendship. Check out the classic of Dionne Warwick with Stevie Wonder and Elton John in the song "That's What Friends are For". At least, this is where the slick marketing is really working. By convincing the masses that a day to mark love is also a day to mark friendships for all the singles out there. Talk about "market diversification". Anyway, these are just some of my personal favourite songs. I don't get tired of listening to them. Defnitely one of the nicest would actually be Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman on the Soundtrack to A Walk To Remember - "Someday We'll Know". You can almost feel the depth of emotion in the song. Its very sad. Highly applicable to a guy like me. Oh well, so in closing. Have a Happy Valentine's Day!
Completed - Febuary 13th 5.07 p.m
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