Unrelated Coefficients
If you can be bothered, do download this song here. I hope that the link still works when this post is published because the download is exceedingly popular. If you're wondering what "Mongolian_song" is. Just give it a go and I believe that you will likely be pleasantly surprised. 2.2 megabyte download for a song lasting 2 minutes and 22 seconds. I am a fan for alternative "alternative" types of world music. Especially the music of cultures that I've yet to hear much of their music of.
I know its weird when I mention this, but yes, I do make it a point to tune into some chinese radio station or other just before I set off on my journey when I drive. Its like, as long as there's some chinese song being broadcast through the car stereo. That's good enough for me. Although I have yet to appreciate chinese news broadcasts when the speak on air is about 10% intelligible to me. Some may wonder why for a person like me, who is notoriously bad at chinese, why do I even bother. The thing is that, I find it to be quite true that in the words of a former highly english-educated classmate: "chinese songs are more meaningful". Really, they are. At least the love ones at least. English radio stations is full of trashy pop tunes aimed to stoke my restlessness into buying a nonsense record. Other than that, its Zhou Jie Lun all the way in the iTrip broadcaster when I drive.
Sometimes I think that its pretty much a waste that as a chinese person, at least I do not know how to exert a little bit of my "ancestory" by being able to speak at least one of the dialects else the PuTongHua fluently. Its quite sad indeed. Most of my knowledge on the history as well as traditions and practices of ancient or early modern China come from western sources of knowledge. And as much as I wonder how they even came up with barbaric practices like "foot binding" and all. Given the chance, I'd love to backpack/cycle/walk through the entire country of China. There is just so much to see from the well developed coastal cities all the way to the very undeveloped as well as places where people only scratch out an existence towards the Afghan border. If I had two Nikon F6 film cameras with additional film transports/vertical grips as well as two zooms and two primes and one hundred miles of film. I can safely say that I'll most likely be able to shoot up all that film and still think that it is not enough. Then again, before I go to china, I'd love to go to Israel first...
There are many things I'd love to blog about this year. Many things that are often at the back of my head, else on the tip of my tongue and are just waiting to be typed down for others to devour in relish the black humour and silence of pondering thereoff. Then again, I'm not sure. I do enjoy writing online, but I feel that blogging has become so much of a popular streak that it seems to be less fun now that so many people have blogs of their own. I started out with just 3, maybe 4 links in the right hand column. And look at the way the number of links has grown in less than two short years. Writing gives me an alternate outlet to ramble and share all my nonsensical thoughts as well as to post up the occasional picture or two. And to think that it is a "good" place to vent frustrations and share all the shades of feelings with. Yet I think that this year on. Its more important to write things that are relevant as well as stick up with good photographs. I realise that a good photographer doesn't really need to wait for a fine day to take pictures. He can make even a wet dark day seem like a bright sunny one. Its all in the vision of the eye that peers through the viewfinder most of the time.
As yet, 2004 seems to have passed me by much more quickly than I can remember. Although the hours at duty are long and slow. The months and weeks are pretty fast. Another three and a half months and I'll be out of working in shifts. Shift work isn't glamourous - and it really does affect your health. Worryingly, my health has taken a nosedive and at the same time, all the this keeping to odd hours for more than a year has told me that it is very very difficult to run one's life on the schedule of a day shift, followed by a night shift and repeat ad nauseum. I realise that when one doesn't have enough sleep. Blinking alone can give rise to sharp pain in the lower portion of the eye. And there's been more than one occasion a week where I look at myself in the mirror and see all the capillaries of my eyes seeped up in strands of crimson. I look forward to returning to some really proper hours as well as to sleeping at a regular time each day.
As for 2005. Its not too long away before I reach 21 and all the responsiblities as well as legal implications of being "an adult" finally hit me smack in the face. Time really flies especially when you do not notice it go by so quickly. And that's it. Childhood as I know it, adolescence as I have seen it has passed me by. Too quick for the recollection of all memories in the ever more hectic pace of life. Oh, I still want my dream dSLR for my birthday. Only thing is that the price has refused stubbornly to budge from its sky-high altitude of a recommended retail price. Maybe for this year, I'll look back to thinking a little bit more, adding in a bit of nostalgia and writing up some cooked frenzy of personal philosophy into posts that will definitely be less often. But more well thought out and laid out. Quality rules of quantity of the day.
My own catharsis by listening to the iPod at 4.30 in the morning would have me strike into a weird thought frenzy that maybe attempting to chase in the path of career girl isn't the right way to go. "It would be wiser to do something strange and unconventional". Its been a pleasure meeting a good segment of society, so long as they are comfortable with having halfway to being an nerdy intellectual blur king in their presence who is a bag of contradictions himself. At the end of the day, everyone talks about love like that special someone of their choice knocking on the door of their hearts. Maybe reality would have it some other way, if everyone fell into love and out of the love the same way. Then it would be pretty meaningless, wouldn't it? Since it would be in the line of "such a predictable plot".
In the meantime, I think its wise to dedicate slightly more time with the Lord on the a daily basis in conversation with Him. While I am far from and no where near the Church favoured defnitition of a "prayer warrior". I believe its important to be able to share one's thoughts freely as well as to take a remembrance of one's creator in the days of my youth. Although youth as it seems will end sooner. Maybe life itself is inherently unfair, because if we wanted to be "fair" to all. It would entail the use of "unfair measures". Till then, I shan't think so much. Knowingly knowing the way I ramble upon can lead to all sorts of oddities and eccentricities in conclusions of any kind.
A thought struck me not too long ago that when I read through a friend's blog post and realised that maybe its not just "people like me" (not referring to anything GLBT btw) that have difficulty making, mantaining and keeping friendships. Maybe its just my introverted nature to gravitate away from having too many friends and lament at the "small number" of real ones that I still can meet up only on a very irregular basis no thanks to NS on all fronts of the friendship line. It also made me think about "the five languages of love". Something preached about in church that which I never really paid much attention towards. Maybe its just that some people give and receive love very differently from others. I don't know though. That really remains to be see in the context of life. Yet I have to add that as I age, I grow increasingly more weary as well as cynical of marriage. Perhaps due to unique circumstances of mine or else its just all the artificiality and farce that I see surrounding relationships.
Although its lamentable on some fronts when it comes to getting attached and all the things that go with a relationship, assuming its smooth and God-sanctioned. I myself am not sure about the whole nonsense that is in the "dating game" as well as all the tremendous change and sacrifice that it entails to one's self-independent streak of a life. Only time will tell in certain circumstance. Actually most. So its pretty much dissapointing when I look around me and things on the bonding front aren't going well for a whole slew of people that I know of. I wonder in deep thought when people in Nigeria and (is it) Somalia are ranked much higher on the happiness index than us Singaporeans - that never seem to escape the tirade of the PSLE on one's life in life. Its so strange and so ironic. Life may be unfair. But God is certainly fair.
I have some dreams. Some aspirations as well as a certain number of goals that I'd like to achieve in 2005. Not very much I guess, at the same time. This will be a year of positioning for me, as well as a year of massive change and adaptability as I leave NS for good. Take a short breather in between and finally prepare for the grown up world of the university. Which is another unpredictable sequence of events in my life. Till then I'm happy just to walk with the Lord. Even though its very difficult sometimes unlike what some people make it out to me to be. Till then, I just pray that I don't end up in a hospital for once this year for a change. And that maybe I might be able to find my vision through the viewfinder behind the lens of a camera. What else? I don't know. That's why life is so exciting. You've got to uncover the fog of war yourself.
If you can be bothered, do download this song here. I hope that the link still works when this post is published because the download is exceedingly popular. If you're wondering what "Mongolian_song" is. Just give it a go and I believe that you will likely be pleasantly surprised. 2.2 megabyte download for a song lasting 2 minutes and 22 seconds. I am a fan for alternative "alternative" types of world music. Especially the music of cultures that I've yet to hear much of their music of.
I know its weird when I mention this, but yes, I do make it a point to tune into some chinese radio station or other just before I set off on my journey when I drive. Its like, as long as there's some chinese song being broadcast through the car stereo. That's good enough for me. Although I have yet to appreciate chinese news broadcasts when the speak on air is about 10% intelligible to me. Some may wonder why for a person like me, who is notoriously bad at chinese, why do I even bother. The thing is that, I find it to be quite true that in the words of a former highly english-educated classmate: "chinese songs are more meaningful". Really, they are. At least the love ones at least. English radio stations is full of trashy pop tunes aimed to stoke my restlessness into buying a nonsense record. Other than that, its Zhou Jie Lun all the way in the iTrip broadcaster when I drive.
Sometimes I think that its pretty much a waste that as a chinese person, at least I do not know how to exert a little bit of my "ancestory" by being able to speak at least one of the dialects else the PuTongHua fluently. Its quite sad indeed. Most of my knowledge on the history as well as traditions and practices of ancient or early modern China come from western sources of knowledge. And as much as I wonder how they even came up with barbaric practices like "foot binding" and all. Given the chance, I'd love to backpack/cycle/walk through the entire country of China. There is just so much to see from the well developed coastal cities all the way to the very undeveloped as well as places where people only scratch out an existence towards the Afghan border. If I had two Nikon F6 film cameras with additional film transports/vertical grips as well as two zooms and two primes and one hundred miles of film. I can safely say that I'll most likely be able to shoot up all that film and still think that it is not enough. Then again, before I go to china, I'd love to go to Israel first...
There are many things I'd love to blog about this year. Many things that are often at the back of my head, else on the tip of my tongue and are just waiting to be typed down for others to devour in relish the black humour and silence of pondering thereoff. Then again, I'm not sure. I do enjoy writing online, but I feel that blogging has become so much of a popular streak that it seems to be less fun now that so many people have blogs of their own. I started out with just 3, maybe 4 links in the right hand column. And look at the way the number of links has grown in less than two short years. Writing gives me an alternate outlet to ramble and share all my nonsensical thoughts as well as to post up the occasional picture or two. And to think that it is a "good" place to vent frustrations and share all the shades of feelings with. Yet I think that this year on. Its more important to write things that are relevant as well as stick up with good photographs. I realise that a good photographer doesn't really need to wait for a fine day to take pictures. He can make even a wet dark day seem like a bright sunny one. Its all in the vision of the eye that peers through the viewfinder most of the time.
As yet, 2004 seems to have passed me by much more quickly than I can remember. Although the hours at duty are long and slow. The months and weeks are pretty fast. Another three and a half months and I'll be out of working in shifts. Shift work isn't glamourous - and it really does affect your health. Worryingly, my health has taken a nosedive and at the same time, all the this keeping to odd hours for more than a year has told me that it is very very difficult to run one's life on the schedule of a day shift, followed by a night shift and repeat ad nauseum. I realise that when one doesn't have enough sleep. Blinking alone can give rise to sharp pain in the lower portion of the eye. And there's been more than one occasion a week where I look at myself in the mirror and see all the capillaries of my eyes seeped up in strands of crimson. I look forward to returning to some really proper hours as well as to sleeping at a regular time each day.
As for 2005. Its not too long away before I reach 21 and all the responsiblities as well as legal implications of being "an adult" finally hit me smack in the face. Time really flies especially when you do not notice it go by so quickly. And that's it. Childhood as I know it, adolescence as I have seen it has passed me by. Too quick for the recollection of all memories in the ever more hectic pace of life. Oh, I still want my dream dSLR for my birthday. Only thing is that the price has refused stubbornly to budge from its sky-high altitude of a recommended retail price. Maybe for this year, I'll look back to thinking a little bit more, adding in a bit of nostalgia and writing up some cooked frenzy of personal philosophy into posts that will definitely be less often. But more well thought out and laid out. Quality rules of quantity of the day.
My own catharsis by listening to the iPod at 4.30 in the morning would have me strike into a weird thought frenzy that maybe attempting to chase in the path of career girl isn't the right way to go. "It would be wiser to do something strange and unconventional". Its been a pleasure meeting a good segment of society, so long as they are comfortable with having halfway to being an nerdy intellectual blur king in their presence who is a bag of contradictions himself. At the end of the day, everyone talks about love like that special someone of their choice knocking on the door of their hearts. Maybe reality would have it some other way, if everyone fell into love and out of the love the same way. Then it would be pretty meaningless, wouldn't it? Since it would be in the line of "such a predictable plot".
In the meantime, I think its wise to dedicate slightly more time with the Lord on the a daily basis in conversation with Him. While I am far from and no where near the Church favoured defnitition of a "prayer warrior". I believe its important to be able to share one's thoughts freely as well as to take a remembrance of one's creator in the days of my youth. Although youth as it seems will end sooner. Maybe life itself is inherently unfair, because if we wanted to be "fair" to all. It would entail the use of "unfair measures". Till then, I shan't think so much. Knowingly knowing the way I ramble upon can lead to all sorts of oddities and eccentricities in conclusions of any kind.
A thought struck me not too long ago that when I read through a friend's blog post and realised that maybe its not just "people like me" (not referring to anything GLBT btw) that have difficulty making, mantaining and keeping friendships. Maybe its just my introverted nature to gravitate away from having too many friends and lament at the "small number" of real ones that I still can meet up only on a very irregular basis no thanks to NS on all fronts of the friendship line. It also made me think about "the five languages of love". Something preached about in church that which I never really paid much attention towards. Maybe its just that some people give and receive love very differently from others. I don't know though. That really remains to be see in the context of life. Yet I have to add that as I age, I grow increasingly more weary as well as cynical of marriage. Perhaps due to unique circumstances of mine or else its just all the artificiality and farce that I see surrounding relationships.
Although its lamentable on some fronts when it comes to getting attached and all the things that go with a relationship, assuming its smooth and God-sanctioned. I myself am not sure about the whole nonsense that is in the "dating game" as well as all the tremendous change and sacrifice that it entails to one's self-independent streak of a life. Only time will tell in certain circumstance. Actually most. So its pretty much dissapointing when I look around me and things on the bonding front aren't going well for a whole slew of people that I know of. I wonder in deep thought when people in Nigeria and (is it) Somalia are ranked much higher on the happiness index than us Singaporeans - that never seem to escape the tirade of the PSLE on one's life in life. Its so strange and so ironic. Life may be unfair. But God is certainly fair.
I have some dreams. Some aspirations as well as a certain number of goals that I'd like to achieve in 2005. Not very much I guess, at the same time. This will be a year of positioning for me, as well as a year of massive change and adaptability as I leave NS for good. Take a short breather in between and finally prepare for the grown up world of the university. Which is another unpredictable sequence of events in my life. Till then I'm happy just to walk with the Lord. Even though its very difficult sometimes unlike what some people make it out to me to be. Till then, I just pray that I don't end up in a hospital for once this year for a change. And that maybe I might be able to find my vision through the viewfinder behind the lens of a camera. What else? I don't know. That's why life is so exciting. You've got to uncover the fog of war yourself.
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