As a testimony to go to show how supberbly outdated I am when it comes to catching movies, I only managed to catch the Matrix: Revolutions sometime earlier this week. And the show was released in may last year. Overall, I guess most people are extraordinarily surprised when I tell them that for the year 2003, I caught a grand total of 2 movies. Wonder why.
Of course, with all my free time in between the shifts at the rotten base on the weekdays, technically, I could have watched every single movie on the big screen last year. Just need a little bit of money. Yet at the same time it will come with one major drawback, that being watching the film all alone.
I guess I prefer to be alone the vast majority of time as my thoughts are enough of a nuisance company. And for the sake of posterity, I honestly don't think anyone can stand being around me for very long, especially if they are not the sort that appreciates oddballs and unstable minds. How ironic it is that I myself dislike the company of unstable people. Yet I find it funny the only few people who can really tolerate my nonsensical presence continuously for a long period of time are the few people in my cellgroup that I only manage to catch random fleeting glimpses of.
I was told that if I wanted more friends in life, I have to sow friendship as well as love as well as doing good and kind deeds towards other people. In the limited scope that I have "experiement" on this, I realise that it actually works and I've managed to gain just a small tiny handful of friends. I just find it odd that I can't seem to expand this "circle of love" around me to include more people. Perhaps its me, perhaps I'm just like this.
Knowing plenty of people is pointless. I would be far happier to have a tiny handful of excellent friends throughout my life than to have a few hundred fickle friendships of shallow depth. Yet at the same time, as someone tells me. Sometimes it isn't our fault that we aren't friendly enough. We might be friendly, perhaps too friendly, yet our intristic nature and personality just simply turn others off.
I coudl be the guy who comes up to a total stranger in school and stretches forth my hand with a few kind introductory words. Unfortunately as far as I have observed in life, such an approach is usually considered by the other party to be too direct as well as being too confrontational, thus it isn't a very effective manner to extending one's social circle effective with no impropriety.
Then again, technically, the best introductions are usually made by a good friend knowing both parties to a certain degree of familiarity. Isn't this how most couples form up as well as how most wedded couples agree to be the factor that kick starts the sparks of love and romance in their lives? That's what the "theory" of friendster is built upon and which is something that our Single, Desperate and Ugly Unit is attempting to model via means of games and activities like "speed dating".
True friends are truly truly truly very valuable in life indeed. I would safely say that they are one of the intagible things in life. Sometimes as I walk home all alone after night shift duty at the base, I usually come across many groups of friends with their happy moments being shared together as well as being continually created. Joy shared is indeed doubled and sorrow shared is indeed halved. Sometimes I just do feel envious to the point of a certain jealously within me. Yet I condensce myself to the fact that in nature I am a rather unfriendly person with all kinds of weird instincts and traits.
Proven friendships are even more valuable in life. Especially those friends that help pick me up when I have fallen in life. I feel that it is pointless to go to clubs, pubs and discos to "get to know more people" in a shallow as well as superficial manner in a subculture so artificial of reality. At the end of the day, it seems that such places just masquerade as "entertainment jaunts" only for the sake for people to meet up for a one night stand, a trade in powder. Wonder why the IDA wants to regulate all those phone chat line operators that charge ridiculous fees for their "services".
I guess I'll most probably walk on a path of lonliness for the most part of my life. I usually never feel any urge to upkeep the few friends that I have, I often feel so unmotivated just to keep in touch even with friends like L-Squared and Prof Wang. At other times, I just watch by unempathatically as I see my friends disappear one by one. Till I sms them only to receive a reply of "whose this?". Even from those that I've been in the same class with for 8 or 9 years in ACS.
No doubt at the upcoming Barker Road Reunion dinner, I will meet many old familiar faces, and if I could be more nice, very distant friends that once inhabited a part of my life on a daily basis. Yet I guess when there is no real committment on my part, things will languish away as they are and will seemingly fade into oblivion faster than I can see it waste away before my very eyes.
There is no point in attempting to bridge any sort of a relationship with a girl or guy when one has not even understood the very basics os upkeeping a real friendship. Even if one tries to "upkeep" a relationship with very little or no prior experience in true friendships. Then most likely the other party will feel "too much pressure" being formed on that one single emotional bond in both person's lives.
Without a strong foundation in developing true friendships. There can be no foundation to develop a strong relationship between two persons.
Of course, with all my free time in between the shifts at the rotten base on the weekdays, technically, I could have watched every single movie on the big screen last year. Just need a little bit of money. Yet at the same time it will come with one major drawback, that being watching the film all alone.
I guess I prefer to be alone the vast majority of time as my thoughts are enough of a nuisance company. And for the sake of posterity, I honestly don't think anyone can stand being around me for very long, especially if they are not the sort that appreciates oddballs and unstable minds. How ironic it is that I myself dislike the company of unstable people. Yet I find it funny the only few people who can really tolerate my nonsensical presence continuously for a long period of time are the few people in my cellgroup that I only manage to catch random fleeting glimpses of.
I was told that if I wanted more friends in life, I have to sow friendship as well as love as well as doing good and kind deeds towards other people. In the limited scope that I have "experiement" on this, I realise that it actually works and I've managed to gain just a small tiny handful of friends. I just find it odd that I can't seem to expand this "circle of love" around me to include more people. Perhaps its me, perhaps I'm just like this.
Knowing plenty of people is pointless. I would be far happier to have a tiny handful of excellent friends throughout my life than to have a few hundred fickle friendships of shallow depth. Yet at the same time, as someone tells me. Sometimes it isn't our fault that we aren't friendly enough. We might be friendly, perhaps too friendly, yet our intristic nature and personality just simply turn others off.
I coudl be the guy who comes up to a total stranger in school and stretches forth my hand with a few kind introductory words. Unfortunately as far as I have observed in life, such an approach is usually considered by the other party to be too direct as well as being too confrontational, thus it isn't a very effective manner to extending one's social circle effective with no impropriety.
Then again, technically, the best introductions are usually made by a good friend knowing both parties to a certain degree of familiarity. Isn't this how most couples form up as well as how most wedded couples agree to be the factor that kick starts the sparks of love and romance in their lives? That's what the "theory" of friendster is built upon and which is something that our Single, Desperate and Ugly Unit is attempting to model via means of games and activities like "speed dating".
True friends are truly truly truly very valuable in life indeed. I would safely say that they are one of the intagible things in life. Sometimes as I walk home all alone after night shift duty at the base, I usually come across many groups of friends with their happy moments being shared together as well as being continually created. Joy shared is indeed doubled and sorrow shared is indeed halved. Sometimes I just do feel envious to the point of a certain jealously within me. Yet I condensce myself to the fact that in nature I am a rather unfriendly person with all kinds of weird instincts and traits.
Proven friendships are even more valuable in life. Especially those friends that help pick me up when I have fallen in life. I feel that it is pointless to go to clubs, pubs and discos to "get to know more people" in a shallow as well as superficial manner in a subculture so artificial of reality. At the end of the day, it seems that such places just masquerade as "entertainment jaunts" only for the sake for people to meet up for a one night stand, a trade in powder. Wonder why the IDA wants to regulate all those phone chat line operators that charge ridiculous fees for their "services".
I guess I'll most probably walk on a path of lonliness for the most part of my life. I usually never feel any urge to upkeep the few friends that I have, I often feel so unmotivated just to keep in touch even with friends like L-Squared and Prof Wang. At other times, I just watch by unempathatically as I see my friends disappear one by one. Till I sms them only to receive a reply of "whose this?". Even from those that I've been in the same class with for 8 or 9 years in ACS.
No doubt at the upcoming Barker Road Reunion dinner, I will meet many old familiar faces, and if I could be more nice, very distant friends that once inhabited a part of my life on a daily basis. Yet I guess when there is no real committment on my part, things will languish away as they are and will seemingly fade into oblivion faster than I can see it waste away before my very eyes.
There is no point in attempting to bridge any sort of a relationship with a girl or guy when one has not even understood the very basics os upkeeping a real friendship. Even if one tries to "upkeep" a relationship with very little or no prior experience in true friendships. Then most likely the other party will feel "too much pressure" being formed on that one single emotional bond in both person's lives.
Without a strong foundation in developing true friendships. There can be no foundation to develop a strong relationship between two persons.
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