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Extraordinarily sad and touching towards the end. Another reason why I'll never ever put photographic developing chemicals on a shelf, cabinet or table ever again. The developer especially, will go on the floor. No other place.

It brings up to me what really "love" is. Its like a such a generic term that means differently to different people. Indeed, it is not the "karma" that matters in the original meaning or context of the word, the only meaning and understanding we gain is from the way we ourselves define the key phrases that govern our life/lifestyle. A kind of personal "constituition" that we run our lives by.

I believe that the instrumental piano solo classical song "Love and Longing" by Kim Hyung Suk is a very good one that expresses the pain, or perhaps, anguish that can happen from being stuck in a mould that never fits the expectations of another person. Its a song on the "My Sassy Girl" movie soundtrack and I believe that is one of the contribution factors as to why back in AC, we went to watch it twice consecutively on the same day after skipping school. Perhaps it would be better to let the music express itself.

As I've always been a fan of sad piano solos, as pathetic an excuse as that might sound, maybe its just part of my rather phelgmetic personality's outlet. The only other parrellel main stream song I can think of would actually be "Someday We'll Know". But then again, I have to just look away and gaze further upon the horizon at times of such self reflection.

Someone once told me that he really envies people that can find a soulmate in this life. Wherever the term and logic soulmate came from. I guess that is something more valuable that gold itself, because gold can always be dug up from the ground, or it can be bought, or worked for. At the same time, having another person to compliment the other half of your life and very existence is just simply put, perhaps just fate for some, a blessing for others, or just luck in the stars.

There will always be sad people around. I know how a broken heart can change so quickly. Imagine all the guilt, pain, anger, hate and so on that just comes over a person when things just have to be severed. And often in the most painful manner possible. Sadness isn't too bad, perhaps just being bitter is worst, or else maybe, hardening one's heart to be impervious to another knife attack yet attempting to remain warm, and loving at the same time is just a paradoxical oxymoron in itself.

I've seen enough nonsense in my short life thus far to come to the conclusion that it is just so strange, so weird. So truly odd, indeed, when a loving pair splits apart and starts to attack each other with vitriol and gossip. Even more unsound, and sad at the same time to see a pair that hath declared "I do" on a happy occasion battle each other out in the public or private arenas like roman gladiators to the death. Its just so odd. I can't understand why loving people would suddenly just hate each other. It just doesn't make sense.

Yet at the same time, maybe its just that the mistakes of one side can't be accepted by the other half and it leads to all kinds of unpleasant circumstances that affect everyone around in some way or other. It brings up the question as to how truly loving can someone really be and how many mistakes can someone make before another gives up. How truly magnanimousity can be at times.

Maybe love is just too heart wrenching to talk about. Maybe its just totally not worth it at all. There seems to be so much trouble, so many obstacles to surmount just to go to the place where we are "gathered in the presence of God to witness..." and from there, it too is a rocky journy is plenty of bumps along the way. And many cannot complete the journey that is supposed to last a lifetime, instead opting for the easier and "right of way" out.

If love is just all about how smart, rich, handsome, pretty, funny, nice and perfect your partner is, then its not love at all. Its just plain simplicity of attraction. Indeed, there is a very fine dividing line between like, admiration, infatuation, lust, love and true love. And I think that the space that lust occpies is the largest, while the space that true love occupies is virtually negligible at times.

Indeed, it is much better, far superior to see an aged old couple hold hands and eat dinner together in a coffee shop at 7 in the evening; than it is to see teenagers hug each other on escalators in their school uniforms in some shopping mall. Because one picture speaks of a long last committment in true happiness that has withstood the tests of time, life, nature, health and finances. Yet the other is just venturing into unchartered territoritory powered by unrealistic ideals.

How much can someone sacrifice to give another person totally unconditionally? Not much I guess, judging by the way things are now. I would have run off if I were the photographer in the video, perhaps never to be seen again. Why risk everything for nothing? Maybe that's what love really is, its just totally crazy. And maybe that's why falling in love hurts. Because there's no one to catch a person when he hits the cold hard floor of reality and really feels "the ground" as to how bumpy, rough and inclined it can be.

A long time ago, in a faraway kingdom. There lived a beautiful princess who had everything that was desirable, beauty in magnificence, intellect beyond wit, character beyond excellent and personality that was warmer than the summers of the land. One fine day, the King of the kingdom decided to give his daughter hand in marriage and an announcement was sent out throughout every corner of the kingdome, that all able bodied, handsome and well educated fine young men present themselves to the princess for her to chose her suitor. The chosen one would become the prince of the land, to inherit the entire kingdom and all its wealth.

Many fine young men came. Some were excellent horseback riders, others skilled craftmen, many of the aristocracy sent their finest to be in the league to join the true ranks of the royalty. After many months of searching, and the princess still could not make up her mind as to chose who was the most suitable men of all. Thus the King announced that all the princess' potential suitors line up outside the palace grounds on a fine morning at the later date.

On the day itself, many men came, in the best attire and stood proudly to give their one liner quote of wisdome in an attemp to impress the princess. For she had declared prior to the gathering, that the person who gave her the wisest quote, would be the most suitable to win her hand in marriage and to govern the kingdom in continued prosperity.

Every man that came gave their best knowledge. "Beauty is the in eye of the beholder!" said some, "The pen is mightier than the sword" proclaimed others. Finally after listening to every men. The princess came to the very last man in the line. He was a young gentlemen, with no semblance of a fair countenance, he had no money, and had walked all the way to the palace grounds; just making it before the gates of the palace closed for the day. The princess looked at him for a moment and said, "What may thou wisest statement be?"

"Thereby that I shalt wait for thee to know every fine gentleman here wiser, and thine shalt be last in question".

In modern context. It simply would be, "You can go out with every single guy, you can get attached to every single guy who likes you out there, but at the end of it all and are still not satisfied, I will be here, waiting for you."

And the princess said, "Wise are thou! For in thine eyes are trident to truth!" and she chose him to marry. And they lived happily every after.

How many guys are like that out there? Not many I believe. With many seeking desirably to be the first, the best and in a bid not to "lose face" and end up last in queue. This simple story illustrates to us, that nice guys will always be the very last to be discovered. Simply for the fact that even though they are floating around our lives almost all the time, they do not often have what is desirable by the standards of society.

"All the nice guys are ugly". Perhaps it might be too much of a sweeping statement. Yet I cannot help but to agree sometimes, as maybe, to make themselves "more competitive" in the "dating game". Ugly guys have to make up for what they lack which is desirable, with character, with personality, maybe with money as well. Yet only those with excellent characters will shine through and last all the to the end.

Good character is not easy to build. I just flip through my bible once. And as lousy a Christian as I am, whatever I can extract out already seems very daunting indeed. God asks us to "Love thy neighbour as thyself" and I don't even know where to start. There's also, "Husbands, love your wives". It just stands as a good reference point what the situation between married couples today in Singapore are like. Funny, the most attended cases that my friends in police divisions attend are cases of dispute. And out of all the cases of dispute, it seems that about slightly more than half are noisy quarrels between husbands and their wives over the same few things: faithfulness, committment, infidelity, finances, health, children, parenting style and in-laws.

Probably the only voluntary welfar organisation in Singapore that is really working very hard and doing their best to restore the social fabric of familes and couples would be the Focus on the Family, Singapore. And they get heavy flak just because they are a Christian Community Orgnisation doing things to help people of any religion and beliefs. And honestly, I think that MCDS is utterly useless as well. They sit in their board offices and talk cock all the time and never seem to do anything to help the deteriorating social fabric in our country. Sad to say that they are more concerned about getting blood donations than on helping broken familes get back together.

What is the point of having more babies when it will only result in a big increase in single parent familes in the future? What's the point? Children from single parent familes often grow up with tremendous personal issues as well, judging by studies done in the States. Why give birth to a crumbling future generation? When even the current one can't stand on its own two feet and support the previous? If we can't even love each other properly, how can we love our children properly and raise them in a "tender, loving environment?". We'll just have a repeat of what's going on in this generation, but on a far worst scale.

As far as I have friends and know people. Apparently, almost all the people I know in their life have some family problem. Some small. But some really really big and blown up. There are imperfect families everywhere, because there is no such thing as a perfect family. Yet there are plenty of mildy dysfunctional ones and even mroe dysfunctional families. What is the point of living a giant bungalow with a butler, housekeeper and all the comforts and trappings of wealth when there is no love?

Woud you prefer to trade in everything you had right now for true love in its purest form, or trade in true love for everything else the world has to offer? Ever felt "that empty feeling in your heart"? Maybe that is an apt description indeed. I know that many friends I have would gladly trade in their standard of living right now, just to have a more loving father, or a more loving mother, or even just a happier family.

Well. Everything is linked. The messed up men of today, will the screwed up fathers of tomorrow, which will give rise the even more dysfuncational familes of the next generation, which will grow up with disillusionment and unahppiness. And the vicious cycle repeats itself.